Only Lover Read online

  ‘Very nice. It matches your eyes.’

  ‘I know,’ she said bitterly.

  ‘Oh, I see. Joel already made that comment.’

  Farrah hadn’t been wearing the bracelet when she had met Joel this evening, but he had made her go back up to the flat to get it. She had mumbled something to her father about forgetting her purse before dashing out again. Her father knew nothing about the bracelet; as she intended returning it, one way or another, there seemed no point in telling him.

  ‘Yes,’ she told him stiffly.

  ‘Oh dear, he is out of favour. Even more so in a moment, I should think, he and Stella are about to join us on the dance floor—and Stella makes no secret of her wish to share Joel’s bed. She could just succeed with him in this mood.’

  ‘Don’t you mind—about Stella, I mean? After all, she is here with you.’

  ‘Stella is my sister. We just called in here for an hour or so on our way to a party.’ He looked over pointedly to where Stella was dancing as close to Joel as it was humanly possible to do without being obscene. ‘But I somehow don’t think she’ll go now. Stella may not have realised you had an argument, but she certainly knows there’s something wrong between the two of you, Joel’s never taken this much interest in her before.’

  ‘Stella is your sister?’ she repeated hollowly.

  ‘I’m afraid so. So don’t count on me to divert her. I’m afraid you’ll have to get his attention back by yourself. That shouldn’t be too difficult.’

  ‘What makes you think that?’

  ‘The fact that he hasn’t taken his eyes off you for the last quarter of an hour. I’m begining to feel uncomfortable.’

  ‘Would you like to sit down?’

  ‘Good idea.’ He breathed a sigh of relief as they dropped into their seats. ‘If I know Joel he’ll be back at the table in a couple of minutes. You do realise you may have ruined an almost lifelong friendship?’ he added ruefully.

  Farrah looked guilty. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—’

  ‘I’m only joking,’ he grinned at her. ‘He’ll get over it—given time.’

  She wasn’t so sure. Joel would be livid with her over this evening, and while she might have seen him annoyed in the past she had never yet seen him furiously angry. The evening had started off wrongly, with Joel ordering her to wear the bracelet, and it had gone from bad to worse.

  ‘Hey, don’t worry.’ Simon took her hand. ‘Joel can’t eat you. He must realise you’re only flirting with me out of pique.’

  Not when she had just told him she was in love with Nigel! If only he hadn’t forbidden her to see Nigel she would never have told him that lie, she would have told him that she and Nigel had parted company. But she would not be ordered about by Joel; he had things enough his own way without that. But there was no doubt in her mind that she would pay for her treatment of him this evening, and she had probably ruined any of their efforts to give the impression they were in love with each other—something else he wouldn’t thank her for.

  ‘They’re coming back to the table now, Farrah,’ Simon told her softly. He let go of her hand at the dark brooding look in his friend’s eyes. ‘Are you ready to leave now, Stella?’ he asked his sister loudly.

  Stella looked at him coldly. ‘Don’t be silly, Simon, I’m having much too—interesting a time here.’

  Simon stood up determinedly. ‘I think we should go, Stella. We’ve broken up Farrah and Joel’s evening enough as it is. And Maggie’s expecting us.’

  His sister’s face dropped with disappointment. ‘I suppose so.’ Her eyes brightened. ‘I don’t suppose the two of you would like to come too?’ Her question was directed at Joel, and Farrah knew that as far as the other girl was concerned she might as well not be here.

  This time Joel didn’t consult her. ‘I don’t think so, Stella. It’s already ten-thirty, by the time we reach Maggie’s it’ll be nearly eleven.’

  ‘But that’s early! Don’t be such a grouch, Joel.’

  He smiled at her, and Farrah held her breath as she waited for his answer. ‘Some of us have to be at work at nine o’clock in the morning. We can’t all spend the morning in bed.’

  Stella put her hand on his arm encouragingly. ‘Just come along for an hour or so. To make up for Saturday,’ she added silkily.

  Joel laughed at her pouting expression. ‘You must have been a very spoilt little girl!’

  Her eyes brightened. ‘You mean you’ll come? Oh, that’s lovely!’

  ‘Only for an hour or so. Farrah has a job of work to do tomorrow, and as her boss I demand she be in on time.’

  Farrah stiffened at his last taunting words. ‘I’m never late,’ she told him angrily, her eyes flashing as he looked at her mockingly. Oh, how he was enjoying this revenge on her! They said revenge was sweet, and Joel certainly looked pleased about something.

  Simon raised surprised eyebrows. ‘Then you work for Joel?’

  She smiled at him, ignoring the fact that Joel and Stella were now waiting for her to leave with them. ‘Does that surprise you?’

  ‘Nothing about Joel surprises me. Come to the party, Farrah. I’d like you to.’

  She jumped as she felt Joel’s hand slide slowly down her arm and his fingers entwine intimately with hers. She could feel the warmth of his body close beside her and anything she might have been going to say in answer to Simon flew completely out of her mind. She could think of nothing but Joel, and the way his thumb was caressing the back of her hand. ‘I—I—’ she licked her lips nervously.

  ‘Sure she’ll come,’ Joel answered for her smoothly. ‘But because I want her to.’

  She looked at him wordlessly, but his eyes were still shuttered from her and she knew he was still angry with her. And probably with good cause. She had behaved childishly, and dared she say it—jealously. She only hoped Joel didn’t realise this was the emotion that had prompted her behaviour, what had made her falsely declare her love for Nigel, and flirt openly with Simon. She was jealous even of a telephone conversation with Laura, and she knew she had fallen irrevocably in love with him.

  He was the opposite of everything she had ever desired in a man, arrogant, experienced, and most of all, cynical. And yet it had happened! And it was becoming more and more true every time she saw him. She was learning that love couldn’t be denied merely at will, it flourished even when vehemently pushed aside.

  ‘Honey?’ Joel was looking at her strangely, and Stella didn’t look too happy about Farrah regaining his attention. ‘We’re ready to leave.’

  She snapped herself out of her thoughts, conscious that Joel still held her hand firmly enmeshed with his own. ‘Yes,’ she said dazedly.

  Stella, not to be outdone, threaded her hand through Joel’s other arm, her scarlet-painted fingernails holding on to his blue velvet dinner jacket. ‘Can I drive there with you, darling?’

  He shook his head. ‘We’ll meet you there.’

  ‘Oh, but—’

  Simon pulled her firmly away, glaring down angrily at his very determined sister. ‘We’ll meet them there, Stella,’ he told her firmly. ‘Do you usually desert your partner this early in the evening? I wouldn’t have brought you if I’d known.’

  ‘And I wouldn’t have come with you at all if my car weren’t out of action.’

  He grinned. ‘Ungrateful brat!’

  The two couples parted in the car park and Farrah waited expectantly for Joel’s criticism of her. Amazingly he said very little, keeping his conversation to general subjects until Farrah thought she could stand no more. Now she knew how Nigel had felt the evening before when waiting for her to tell him about her friendship with Joel. And it wasn’t a pleasant feeling, in fact she felt as if she would scream any moment now.

  ‘Joel—’ her voice came out shakily and she cursed herself for being a coward. It wouldn’t do for her to become too pliable in his hands, not now, when she knew how easily he could make her a willing recipient to his caressing hands. ‘Joel,’ she said more f
irmly.

  ‘Yes?’ His eyes remained narrowed on the road.

  ‘Joel, we can’t go on like this. No one is going to believe we love each other if we treat each other with dislike.’

  ‘Do you care?’ he asked harshly.

  Did she care! She loved him. ‘Not for myself,’ she lied. ‘But I thought you were set on everyone believing it.’

  ‘And you seem to be equally determined that no one believes it. Your behaviour tonight has been nothing less than disgraceful.’

  ‘My behaviour!’ Farrah interrupted him. ‘You were allowing Stella liberties on the dance floor that should be confined to a bedroom,’ she said in disgust.

  ‘I’m sure Stella would have preferred we use a bedroom too,’ he acknowledged mockingly.

  ‘You’re disgusting!’

  ‘And you’re a flirt!’ His eyes flickered over her scathingly. ‘Only seconds after telling me you love someone called Nigel you begin to encourage Simon in a way that can only be construed as an invitation. I’m surprised he didn’t make more of it. Or have you arranged to meet him some other time?’

  ‘And you said I have a low opinion of you!’ she derided.

  ‘Well, have you?’ he persisted in his question.

  ‘Don’t be silly. Simon was kind to me, that’s all.’

  ‘Everyone seems to like being kind to you, first George and now Simon. And what were you talking to Simon about?’

  ‘You,’ she answered truthfully.

  ‘Me? I see. And what did you decide between the two of you? That I’m a cold unfeeling swine who doesn’t deserve you?’ he laughed throatily. ‘But then I don’t have you, do I? Do you think Simon realised that? I’m sure he noticed your eyes.’

  ‘These damned unawakened eyes! No, he didn’t realise that you hadn’t made love to me. Why should he? The prowess of Joel Falcone can never be doubted, can it? You told me at the beginning that no woman was considered safe with you. Why should Simon think I would be any different, that you would expect less from me than from any other woman?’ The words were meant to hurt and she knew they had angered him as he veered off into a side road and brought the car to a halt before turning to her.

  ‘And if I did expect that of you? What would you do? Give in like you have over every other demand I’ve made of you?’ His eyes gleamed challengingly in the darkness. ‘Would you even sacrifice that for your father?’

  ‘Stop it, Joel! Please, stop it. You’ve been so cruel to me this evening. I hate it. I hate it, I tell you!’ Tears gathered in her eyes and for the first time since this dreadful business began she felt as if she were going to cry, deep racking sobs that would erase all the bitterness and replace it with love. But that was impossible, Joel would never love her!

  For answer he pulled her into his arms, cradling her head gently against his shoulder. ‘I forget what a sensitive little thing you are, Farrah,’ he said huskily, his warm breath fanning the soft tendrils of hair on her forehead. ‘Just when I think you’re about to tell me exactly what you think of me, you act hurt and I feel like a heel.’

  Farrah sniffed tearfully. ‘I’m not acting, Joel. You seem to think that every thing I do has a double meaning.’

  ‘Experience,’ he murmured close to her ear. ‘You have a fragrance all your own,’ he told her, bending his head to bury his face in her slender throat. ‘I never believed I would fall for the innocence and sweetness routine,’ he continued musingly. ‘But you have it off to a fine art. You’re getting under my skin, Farrah, and I’m afraid that pretty soon I’m going to have to do something about it.’

  ‘What—what do you mean?’ Her startled gaze rested on his bent head.

  ‘I mean that I’m going to have to make love to you.’ He pulled away from her to look into her face, his mouth only inches away from her own. ‘Does that frighten you, honey?’

  ‘Don’t keep calling me that!’ she snapped, trying to bring a little sanity into the conversation. ‘We don’t have any witnesses now.’

  His thumb caressed her lips apart and he played with the soft sweetness of her mouth. ‘I’m beginning to think I don’t need an audience when you’re about, in fact, I would welcome a little privacy. I think we’ll give the party a miss and go to my apartment instead.’

  ‘No!’ she said sharply. ‘I want to go home. It’s late, and I don’t like being mocked. I think this whole thing has gone far enough! You said at the start that you weren’t personally interested in me, but now you’ve decided I might prove an interesting diversion. I’m conveniently here, you have a hold over me, so why not take advantage of the situation! That’s the way you’re thinking, isn’t it, Joel?’ She pushed his caressing hands away. ‘Well, I’ve had enough! You can find someone else to taunt. I don’t care what you do any more, but I will not be a party to this charade any longer.’

  Joel sat back, completely unmoved by her outburst. ‘You’re intriguing, Farrah,’ he drawled, playing with a soft shiny wave at her nape. ‘But I’m afraid it’s too late to back out now, much too late. I no longer have a hold over you, your father’s—error has been cleared and the books now stand correct. But tonight you’ve made this charade, as you call it, irreversible.’

  ‘I have? What did I do?’

  He smiled at her puzzled frown, that cynical smile that Farrah hated—and yet loved. ‘Simon may be a friend of mine, but he is also the owner of Success magazine, and has connections with all the big newspapers, hence our friendship. Thanks to your talking and acting as you did with him I would say it’s a certainty that an article about the two of us will appear in a lot of the evening papers tomorrow, and in the dailies the day after.’

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  ‘OH. no!’ Her face was stricken.

  Joel chuckled. ‘Oh, yes.’

  ‘But why didn’t you stop me?’ she flared at him accusingly. ‘I didn’t realise Simon’s connections, but you did. You could have warned me.’

  He restarted the car, moving it out into the traffic before answering her. ‘Why should I? I knew that sooner or later you would rebel, and now you’ve irrevocably linked your name with mine you’re going to find it harder than ever to back out.’

  ‘You knew this would happen. You knew!’ she said fiercely.

  ‘Guilty,’ he admitted. ‘I conveniently mentioned your name to Simon the other evening in the hope that he would remember you. It was unfortunate that he came across us tonight as we were arguing—at least, I thought it was. It actually seemed to convince him more. A lovers’ tiff,’ he mocked.

  ‘This is terrible,’ she shook her head. ‘I never imagined anything like this happening. Can’t you stop him?’

  ‘Maybe, but I’m not going to try,’ he declared adamantly.

  ‘I see.’

  He glanced at her fleetingly, chuckling lightly. ‘Don’t look so tight-mouthed, Farrah. This is exactly what we wanted, a definite show of our relationship.’

  ‘What you wanted, you mean. Why can’t you just go about things normally like anyone else? Why do you have to go to all this trouble? I’m sure that if you both sat down and discussed this reasonably, you could come to some kind of agreement.’

  ‘You think so? Why don’t we just try asking her, she should be at this party.’

  ‘Oh no, now that’s asking too much! I don’t have to be humiliated in front of Miss Bennett a second time. I would prefer to go home.’

  ‘Mine?’

  ‘No, not yours! Don’t you ever give up?’

  ‘No,’ he laughed.

  Farrah loved to see him laugh, it was something that didn’t happen too often, and she watched him with pleasure, finally smiling with him. ‘I really would prefer to go home.’

  ‘Right.’

  Strangely Farrah felt disappointed. Joel had agreed too readily. ‘Will you—will you still go to the party?’

  ‘I guess so.’

  ‘Oh,’ she said dully. There was no doubt that Joel would spend the rest of the evening with Stella. She found herself heartil
y disliking the other girl. The thought of Joel making love to another woman made her feel ill, and the thought of him even talking to Stella made her feel angry.

  Joel glanced at her. ‘What do you mean, eh? That prudish little mind of yours is working overtime,’ he sneered. ‘Whose bed do you think I’ll be sharing tonight? Stella’s or Laura’s? God, what a mind you have! You’re beginning to sound like my wife!’

  ‘Spare me that!’ she retorted, stung by the scorn in his voice. ‘If any woman ever makes the mistake of becoming your wife then I’ll pity her.’ Why did she say these things? Why did she hurt herself, because it was a sure fact Joel was unmoved by any of her verbal out-bursts? She was only punishing herself, and it was a pain she found unbearable. If only she didn’t love him so much!

  His eyes taunted her. ‘She’ll probably need it. You’re the faithful type, aren’t you?’

  ‘Yes. Boring, isn’t it?’ She too could be mocking.

  ‘Unusual, rather than boring.’

  ‘You’re so cynical, Joel. A lot of people are faithful to each other all their lives. Have you never loved anyone, not anyone at all?’

  ‘Only my family.’

  ‘Your family?’ Somehow she had never fitted him into a family unit, which was rather ridiculous of her; he must have had a family at some time, even if he seemed a solitary figure now.

  ‘I guess to you I must seem as if I came straight from the devil,’ he said dryly. ‘But my mother wouldn’t be very pleased to hear it. She’s the only woman I know that loves me for myself and not for what I can give her.’

  ‘Your mother is still alive?’ She couldn’t help her surprise.

  ‘Mmm, she still lives in the area we lived in when I was a kid. I have a kid brother too. He’s in advertising.’ This was the first time he had talked about his family, and Farrah had the feeling he had not intended to do so now. He gave a harsh laugh. ‘I guess you wouldn’t think Richie such a kid, he’s twenty-five. I’ll introduce you to him some time. On second thoughts, I take back that remark, I never share what I covet.’

  ‘Does he live in London?’ Her cheeks were flushed from his renewed mention of his desire for her.