Only Lover Read online

  ‘Sometimes. He commutes between the States and here. He’ll probably be back here next week. Have you heard enough about my family now? Or would you like to go to my apartment and see some family photographs?’

  ‘Oh no,’ she laughed. ‘I may be innocent, but I’m not that naïve. Family photographs are a replacement for etchings, I gather?’

  ‘You gather correct. It’s eleven-thirty, you’d better go in now. I’ll call you. All right?’

  ‘All right,’ she answered huskily.

  Joel moved slowly, his lips parting her mouth with a kiss that caressed rather than took, asking for a response but not demanding one. She moved into his arms, loving the possessive feel of his hands on her body, arching her neck as he probed the sensitive area of her throat with his tongue.

  ‘God, Farrah, I could kiss you all night!’ he murmured into the softness of her hair. ‘But that isn’t possible, is it?’

  Wordlessly she shook her head, her parted lips all the invitation Joel needed to continue his exploration of her mouth. She became lost in time, conscious only of a need for Joel to continue these long drugging kisses and for his hands to know her body intimately. Her own hands were below his velvet jacket, touching his muscled back and feeling the heat of his body through the silk shirt.

  She could hear the ragged breathing in his throat—or was it her own?—she didn’t know any more. She smoothed back the dark hair from his forehead, revelling in her power to arouse him. This was where she belonged, where she longed to be whenever she was with him.

  Joel’s eyes were half-closed with passion as he leant back against the car door. ‘We don’t seem to be able to strike a happy medium, Farrah. Last time it was the right place but the wrong time, this time it’s the wrong place at the right time. You won’t change your mind and come back with me?’

  She shook her head, her emotions still too high for her to answer sensibly. The trouble was she didn’t want to be sensible, she wanted to throw herself into Joel’s arms and go home with him, even though she knew the inevitable outcome. Joel might not be able to love her as she wanted him to, but there could be no doubt in her mind, or body, that he would not be a selfish lover. The weekend spent at his home had more than proved that. He had been intent only on arousing her, his own desire held firmly in check until her own needs equalled his. And if he hadn’t spoken she would probably not have come to her senses until it was too late.

  But she had been sensible! And she had to be the same now. She couldn’t weaken, even though Joel’s eyes beckoned her to follow her senses, and not her mind. ‘It’s late,’ came her quiet reply. ‘You said you would call me?’

  ‘Mm. Goodnight, honey, and don’t think I’ve given up. I think the only way to get you out of my mind is to take you to my bed. I’ve never known any woman live up to my first expectations of her, and consequently I’ve learnt to expect little, that way I’m not disappointed. And, Farrah …’

  She looked at him anxiously. ‘Yes?’

  ‘I’m not going to the party.’ Again his thumb moved compulsively to part her lips. ‘Stella’s cloying beauty after you could prove a letdown I don’t need.’ He straightened in his seat. ‘Now off you go to your virtuous bed.’

  ‘Don’t mock, Joel. Not now.’

  ‘Okay, baby. But go now—or I could just change my mind and simply take you with me. It would be so easy, Farrah,’ he warned.

  ‘I’m going, I’m going!’

  ‘I thought you might,’ he said dryly.

  Farrah scrambled out of the car, and with one last wave of her hand she slowly entered the flat. Her father was still up when she got in, and after making them both a quick coffee she went straight to her bedroom. But not to sleep. Her mind and body were still so full of Joel that she couldn’t relax. His desire for her was no longer a guessed-at thing, but a stated fact. Her body tingled with the knowledge of it.

  But she was rather distressed about Simon. Would he really give the story of their romance to the newspapers? Joel said yes, and she had perforce to believe him, after all he knew Simon better than she did. It was rather a frightening thought, to have her name linked with Joel’s in the public press, to be read about by thousands of people who had never heard of Farrah Halliday, but must surely be familiar with the name of Joel Falcone.

  * * *

  Farrah’s face was fiery red and her eyes downcast. Angie had warned her that things could become difficult for her in the office, and today was the worst. And who could blame them! She had been more than shocked herself this morning when she had seen the newspaper her father subscribed to, and her father had been horrified. Emblazoned across the front of the daily newspaper was a photograph of herself and Joel as they had left the Falcone building for lunch the day before. As promised, Joel had telephoned her and they had met at twelve-thirty yesterday. But neither of them could have guessed that a photographer was waiting patiently outside for just such an occurrence. Unfortunately for Farrah, and fortunately for the photographer, he had caught them just as Joel was opening the car door for her and she was laughing up happily into his face.

  To anyone reading the newspaper, she and Joel looked exactly what they were described as, ‘very good friends’. Her father had almost choked over his morning cup of tea when he saw the article, and although he didn’t say a great deal she knew he expected less notorious behaviour from her. Her parents had always tried never to interfere in decisions concerning her private life although they had insisted that she obtain a good education. But in the case of Joel Falcone, Farrah knew her father ached to put a stop to her seeing him, and she also knew he would never attempt to do so.

  Even if Farrah were free to tell her father of the reasons behind her seeing Joel she knew it would no longer be true. It no longer applied. She wasn’t seeing Joel because she had to, but because she wanted to. And she knew the situation had changed for Joel too. No longer did he treat her with mocking condescension, but more with the patient indulgence of a man who is sure he will get what he wants in the end. And he wanted her. There could be no doubt about it, it was there in every touch, and the warmth of his eyes spoke of a slumbering passion that only needed one word from her to make it spark into an engulfing ecstasy. And that one word was, yes.

  The reaction of the girls in the department to the newspaper report was obvious as soon as she walked into the office. The buzz of conversation stopped instantly, and she had to walk to her desk under the close scrutiny of nine pairs of eyes. And it had continued like this for the past couple of hours, the only one seeming to be her usual friendly self being Fiona.

  She joined Farrah as usual for their coffee-break, observing Farrah’s pale tense face with sympathy. ‘You’ve done it now, love,’ she said teasingly. ‘Your friendship with Mr Falcone is no longer a company secret.’

  Farrah grimaced, aware that they were being closely observed by the other girls, discreetly, but nevertheless observed. ‘It was never intended to be. Joel couldn’t give a damn about other people’s opinion of him, or anything he does.’

  ‘But you could. It’s all right for Mr Falcone, he’s sitting in his office on the fifteenth floor with not a care in the world, but you—you have to sit down here and take the barbed criticism of a lot of cats, hypocritical cats at that. None of them would have acted any differently in the same circumstances. I know I wouldn’t. Your Mr Falcone is one hell of a man. And the sexy way he calls you honey! It sent shivers down my spine!’

  Farrah laughed for the first time that day. ‘He isn’t my Mr Falcone, he isn’t anyone’s Mr Falcone, he never will be.’

  ‘I suppose not, but he—’

  Fiona was cut off in mid-sentence as the telephone on Farrah’s desk began to ring persistently. With a grimace in Fiona’s direction, and a regretful look at her half-drunk coffee that was sure to be cold by the time the telephone conversation was over, she picked up the receiver, reciting her extension number habitually.

  ‘Honey?’

  Fiona was right,
the way Joel said that was definitely sexy, and it sent shivers down her spine too. ‘Yes,’ she replied huskily, conscious of Fiona sitting only a few feet away.

  ‘Can you talk?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Well, can you come up here?’

  ‘No, I can’t do that either,’ she said firmly. There was enough gossip being spread about them today without adding to it.

  ‘You sound upset,’ Joel guessed perceptively. ‘Is anything wrong?’

  Was anything wrong! Everything was wrong, from her first meeting with him to this newspaper article. ‘Why should there be?’ she asked casually.

  ‘Because there is. I can tell when you’re upset. I have to talk to you about something important, so you either come up here or I come down to you. It’s urgent that I see you now. So, which is it to be?’

  ‘Neither. I’m working right now. Perhaps we can talk later.’ She was trying so hard to make this conversation seem like a normal telephone call, but everything she did at the moment seemed suspect to the girls in the office with her, and she knew they probably guessed it was Joel she was talking to. ‘I really do have a lot to do.’

  She saw Fiona glance sceptically at the small pile of letters on her desk which had to be answered, and blushed guiltily. ‘Would you like me to leave?’ mouthed Fiona, and Farrah furiously shook her head.

  ‘I mean it, Farrah,’ Joel’s voice came sure and firm to her through the receiver. ‘I’ll be down there in five minutes.’

  ‘No!’ she said sharply. ‘I— It’s all right, I can be there myself in the same time.’

  ‘Make sure you are,’ he warned, before she heard the firm click of the receiver.

  ‘The man himself?’ enquired Fiona lightly, standing to smooth her skirt.

  Farrah blushed. Joel was making things more difficult for her than she had ever imagined. She had realised that many people would know about them, but she hadn’t quite realised what effect this was going to have on her career. Already she had lost the chance of being transferred to one of the reporting sections, something she had always wanted, and she wondered what other far-reaching effects it was going to have on her life.

  Consequently, she was not in the best of humour by the time she entered Joel’s secretary’s office, Cathy’s smile of greeting disappearing as she saw the scowl on her face. ‘Mr Falcone is expecting you,’ she said smoothly.

  ‘I know,’ mumbled Farrah.

  ‘Oh dear,’ laughed Cathy.

  Farrah smiled reluctantly. ‘Sorry. I’m feeling a bit touchy today.’

  ‘I know the feeling. I should go straight in, he isn’t with anyone at the moment.’

  ‘Thanks.’ Farrah didn’t bother to knock on the door, but walked straight in. Joel was studying some papers on his desk, but at her entrance he placed them away in a folder to sit back and watch her through narrowed eyes. She remained unmoved by his look, walking purposefully across the room to stand in front of him. ‘You sent for me—sir.’ There was no mistaking the defiance in her voice and she saw his eyes narrow even more.

  ‘The first time I asked,’ he pointed out reasonably. ‘The second time I ordered.’

  ‘Well, I’m here, aren’t I?’

  He stood up to move around his desk, dressed formally in a grey pin-striped suit and snowy white shirt that emphasised the darkness of his skin colouring. ‘So, what’s happened to put you in this foul mood?’

  ‘What’s happened! The newspapers are what’s happened ! Our picture smeared all over the front page of most of the daily newspapers. As if there aren’t enough catastrophes in the world for them to write about, without resorting to such trivialities as news!’

  ‘Scandal is news,’ Joel said dryly, his arms folded across his chest as he leant back against his desk. ‘Or didn’t you know?’

  ‘But not front page news!’

  ‘To my competitors it is.’ His mouth curved into a mocking smile. ‘They think it will damage my business reputation to be seen apparently besotted with a teenager.’

  Farrah’s eyes widened. ‘And will it?’

  ‘I doubt it. I’m not exactly the type of man to go soft over a woman, and most people know that. And why are you so annoyed about the picture? I did warn you what would happen a couple of days ago.’

  ‘I know that.’ She turned away from the attractive picture he made to stare out of the window. He disturbed her too much this close. ‘But all the girls in my office saw the newspapers, and I’m being treated like something rather nasty at the moment.’

  ‘They’ll get over it. Our “romance”,’ his mouth twisted mockingly, ‘our romance will be a nine-day wonder. Everyone will soo forget about it, and life will go on as normal.’

  ‘You think so?’ Her green eyes sparkled angrily. ‘For you maybe, but not for me. Already it’s upset my father, all the people who work here treat me like a stranger, and the worst of it is, it’s ruined any immediate plans for my career, whether that will be permanently I’m not sure.’

  His mouth tightened. ‘How has it done that?’

  ‘Angie was going to have me transferred. I was actually going to get the chance to be a reporter.’

  ‘So how did I ruin that for you?’

  ‘Surely it’s obvious, Joel. Angie can’t move me now, it would look like favouritism. Surely you can see that?’

  ‘Not really. Angie is a completely fair person, if she thinks you have something then you have something. She wouldn’t allow something like this to influence her either way.’

  ‘You know that, and I know that, but unfortunately not everyone else does. So it’s all been cancelled.’

  ‘I see. Would you like me to make a few telephone calls and get it all moving again?’

  Farrah turned on him angrily. ‘No, I wouldn’t! I’ll probably have to leave Falcone’s in the end anyway. Once we stop seeing each other I should think I’ll have everyone gloating over my loss of favour.’

  Joel moved to turn and look out over the rooftops of London. ‘And what happens if you don’t?’ he asked almost inaudibly.

  ‘Don’t what?’ She looked at his broad back, her face puzzled.

  ‘Stop seeing me,’ he supplied impatiently.

  ‘But—well, I— But I will! As soon as this is over it will be as if we’ve never met. We’re unlikely to meet by accident socially, and I’ll no longer be working for you. So the likelihood of our meeting is more or less nil.’

  He turned to face her and she watched the play of muscles across his face. ‘Not if we’ve arranged to meet,’ he said stiffly.

  ‘Now that isn’t likely, is it—’ she was stopped by the look on his face, his head thrown back almost challengingly. ‘Is it?’ she asked huskily, almost hesitantly.

  ‘Why not?’ Joel shrugged. ‘I always like to get what I want.’

  ‘I see.’

  ‘Do you? I doubt it, I’m not sure that I exactly “see” myself. Will you go out with me if I ask you?’

  Farrah couldn’t help but smile, although the situation didn’t really call for amusement. ‘That would certainly be a novelty, up until now I haven’t been given any choice in the matter.’

  ‘True. We’ll leave that for now, it won’t happen for a couple of weeks anyway. For now I want to talk to you about my imminent trip to the States.’

  ‘Oh no!’ Her exclamation was an involuntary reflex, and she saw his start of surprise.

  ‘What do you mean, oh no?’

  ‘Well, I— It— It— Well, it isn’t convenient.’

  ‘I’m so sorry,’ he said sarcastically. ‘What other plans did you have in mind for me?’

  ‘Don’t be mean, Joel. If you leave me now I’ll have to face all those curious looks on my own.’ She looked at him anxiously. ‘I can’t do it, Joel.’

  ‘Why not?’

  She looked at his cold impersonal face and gritted her teeth to hold back her angry retort. ‘Because it isn’t fair of you to leave me here with all these rumours circulating about us.’
/>   ‘Then come with me.’

  ‘Come with you?’ she squeaked. ‘But you—you can’t mean it!’

  ‘Damn it, of course I mean it! Do you think I want to leave you here? Don’t be so damned silly.’ His face had darkened angrily. ‘So why not come with me? I have to be there for about a week, but I won’t be working all the time. We could spend the evenings together. And the nights.’

  ‘But I— We couldn’t do that!’ Her thoughts were all confused, with a longing to go with him and the knowledge that she couldn’t. What would everyone think if she up and left for the States with Joel? What would her father think? ‘Is this just another ploy to get your freedom?’

  ‘If you like to think so,’ Joel said tightly. ‘Well, are you coming or aren’t you?’

  ‘What a gracious invitation! And no, I’m not! I’m staying right here in England. I will not be seen to run away from anything.’

  He moved forward to grasp her arms painfully. ‘Is that what you think I’m doing? Running away?’

  Of course she didn’t think any such thing, but she preferred him to be this cold arrogant stranger rather than put up with the almost loverlike manner he had adopted with her of late. It would be all too easy to fall for his blatant masculinity and sensuous charm when he was in that type of mood, and she had no intention of making their supposed relationship a reality. No matter how much she longed to do just that.

  She shook her head. ‘No, I don’t believe that.’ But the words didn’t sound very convincing, and this was intentionally so.

  Joel shook her hard. ‘I am not running away! I thought you knew me better than that. There’s been some trouble in the American division. Believe me, I don’t want to go—I would much rather stay here with you. While I’m away you’ll have time to build up your defences again.’

  Farrah pushed his arms away. ‘I wasn’t aware that I had any defences to lower. And if you must go to America, don’t let me try and stop you.’

  ‘It’s started already, I see,’ he taunted.

  ‘Nothing has started! I’ve always disliked you, and you know it.’