Freedom to Love Read online

  She went, mainly because she didn’t want to anger him any more. There were a couple of artists at work around the front of the wooden building, and Katy could sympathise with their frozen-looking hands. The weather was much cooler here, the snow heavier on the surrounding mountains. It looked as if winter were coming early to this beautiful part of Canada.

  She paid for the two coffees and sat down to wait for Adam. If there really had been a search going on for her she was going to be decidedly unpopular, and not just with Gemma and Gerald!

  Adam looked infinitely more relaxed when he entered the cafeteria, his blue eyes searching the room until he saw her sitting meekly in a corner. Several female heads turned to watch him as he walked over to Katy, and she wasn’t surprised by their interest. He was easily the best looking man in the room, moving with a lazy indolence she was finding was totally deceptive. He was an astute, clever man, and he had little patience with fools.

  ‘Thanks.’ He sipped the coffee she had got him, adding no sweetening. ‘Well, you’re in the clear as far as a search goes.’

  Relief flooded over her. ‘You mean they didn’t make one?’

  He shook his head. ‘They didn’t have time.’

  Katy frowned her bewilderment. ‘Didn’t have time…?’

  ‘I don’t mean they were too busy,’ Adam said impatiently. ‘I meant that they didn’t have time between you being reported missing and my reporting you found again.’

  ‘But I’ve been gone for hours!’

  ‘Apparently your sister and Romeo didn’t know that. When you didn’t answer their knock this morning they thought you were sulking and left you to it. Their words, not mine,’ he drawled.

  Her eyes widened. ‘You spoke to them?’

  ‘To Gemma,’ he confirmed.

  ‘She was there?’

  ‘Mm. And she isn’t feeling very sisterly towards you at the moment.’

  ‘But where are they?’

  ‘Where they set out to be, Radium Hot Springs.’ Adam finished his coffee and pushed the cup away. ‘Shall we go into the restaurant and have lunch, or would you rather have a snack here?’

  ‘Neither. I want to get back to Gemma and Gerald.’

  ‘That may not be too easy,’ he said slowly.

  ‘Why?’ she asked suspiciously.

  ‘I hope you’re ready for this,’ he drawled. ‘They don’t want you back with them, Katy.’

  ‘Don’t want me back—? I don’t believe you!’ Her face had gone pale again.

  ‘Your sister’s exact words were “You’re welcome to her”.’

  That sounded like Gemma, selfish, uncaring Gemma. Now that were actually in Canada they no longer needed Katy as a shield to their parents, and so they didn’t care what happened to her. ‘Did she really say that?’ she asked unnecessarily.

  Adam’s hand covered hers. ‘Yes.’

  She snatched her hand away. ‘So what do I do now?’ she asked dully.

  ‘Have lunch.’

  ‘I don’t mean now, I mean—’

  ‘I know what you mean,’ Adam told her tersely, standing up. ‘And you stay with me.’ He pulled her to her feet. ‘We’ll eat in the restaurant, I’m starving.’

  Katy hung back. ‘I’m not staying with you.’

  He seemed unconcerned about their curious audience. ‘What other choice do you have?’ he said cruelly.

  ‘I—well, I—I could—’

  ‘None,’ he answered for her, ushering her into the restaurant. ‘I just hope you don’t snore. I’m not sleeping too well at the moment, so I can do without that.’

  Katy was the one to look about them selfconsciously. ‘Do you mind?’ she muttered in a fierce whisper. ‘People can hear you.’

  ‘What of it?’ He saw her seated and then sat down opposite her. ‘Do you snore?’

  ‘No!’

  ‘How do you know you don’t?’

  ‘I—Well, I—’

  ‘One of your boy-friends told you, hmm?’

  Katy flushed. ‘No, they did not!’ she said indignantly. ‘I just know I don’t.’

  ‘I hope you’re right. I’m impossible if I don’t get a few hours’ sleep.’

  ‘You’re impossible anyway,’ she told him moodily.

  He smiled. ‘I’m glad to see you’re getting back to form. I’d miss it if you didn’t have an answer to everything.’

  Katy stared broodingly down at the salt-pot as he ordered their meal, sure that she would never be able to eat hers. But when it arrived a few minutes later, a succulent steak, accompanied by french fries and salad, she just couldn’t resist it.

  In fact she was beginning to feel slightly better as she ate it; the food seemed to make everything look a little better. Even Adam Wild!

  ‘You enjoyed that,’ he said with satisfaction when she at last had to give up, the portion too large for her.

  Katy flushed. ‘Yes.’ Had she made that much of a pig of herself? She hadn’t thought so.

  ‘I wasn’t getting at you,’ he read her expression correctly. ‘I’ve dated so many girls who live on a lettuce leaf and black coffee that to see you actually enjoying your food makes a pleasant change.’

  ‘Oh,’ she sighed her relief, ‘I thought for a moment I’d committed a sin where you’re concerned, that maybe you didn’t like women who ate too much.’

  He eyed her curiously. ‘Does it matter what I like?’

  ‘I—No, no, I don’t suppose so,’ she blushed. ‘I just didn’t want to irritate you.’

  ‘Any more than you have already, you mean,’ he taunted dryly. ‘You’ve been a thorn in my side ever since we met on the plane.’

  ‘But you slept most of the way!’

  He shook his head. ‘I didn’t sleep, I just rested. God, I’m tired!’ He ran a weary hand over his eyes.

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Why?’ he looked surprised by her interest. ‘Why is one usually tired? Because I haven’t slept, that’s why.’

  Katy frowned. ‘You said on the plane that you hadn’t slept for seventy-two hours. Why hadn’t you?’

  Adam scowled. ‘Why the curiosity? I thought you’d decided the reason. Now that you know me better don’t you think I have the stamina for making love that long?’

  ‘Now that I know you better I’m sure that you have. I just don’t think that was the reason.’ He hadn’t the look of a man satiated with love, in fact, beneath the deep tan had been a sallow appearance. ‘Had you been working?’

  His expression was grim. ‘Yes.’ He seemed far away, and by his expression his thoughts weren’t pleasant ones.

  ‘Where? And at what?’

  He seemed to shrug off a burden, straightening his shoulders, the cynical smile once more in evidence. ‘Why the interest, Katy?’

  ‘I just thought—It wasn’t very nice, was it?’ she said gently.

  Once again the mask slipped to reveal a haggard face, his eyes deeply blue as his thoughts went inwards. ‘It was bloody awful. I couldn’t even begin to describe it.’

  ‘Just tell me where it was.’ When he named the place she gasped, her face almost as pale as his. ‘Don’t say any more. I’ve seen the pictures on television. Those poor children starving to death…!’

  ‘War has a way of doing that,’ he said grimly. ‘Only the innocent suffer. You should have seen some of those kids, Katy.’ His face was anguished. ‘Babies, young kids, all of them just dying in front of your eyes.’

  ‘There was an appeal on television. I’m sure they’ll get the help they need.’

  ‘It will be too late for most of them. Most of the food is getting stolen anyway. Raiders are coming down from the hills, taking what they need for themselves and then selling the rest on the black market. One child, he must have been about three, maybe older—it’s hard to tell, they’re so undernourished—he just died in my arms.’ He turned away, white under his tan. ‘You see, it isn’t a question of not finding the time to sleep, I can’t sleep. That child, he’s haunting me.’


  ‘But on the plane—’

  ‘I told you, I was just resting. I got back two days before the flight out here, and during that time I didn’t see anyone, I didn’t want to see anyone. It was the same on the plane, I was just shutting everyone out, making sure I wasn’t bothered by people who either don’t know or don’t care about those dying children.’ A ghost of a smile lightened his features. ‘I reckoned without one persistent female with grey eyes and hair the colour of caramel. You made sure I noticed you.’

  ‘Not deliberately.’ And she had dismissed this man as an uncaring, selfish brute. How wrong she had been about him! ‘Why did you need to take those photographs?’

  ‘Sunday supplement,’ he supplied abruptly. He shrugged. ‘I’m freelance. I take the work I’m offered.’

  ‘But I didn’t know you took photographs like that.’

  ‘You thought, I just took nudes,’ he mocked. ‘Well, I’m over here working and I don’t see any nudes anywhere.’

  ‘Except the ones in the camper.’

  He grimaced. ‘Jud’s taste in women isn’t mine. I don’t like them quite so top-heavy.’

  Katy was flushed. ‘Gemma and Gerald thought I ought to agree to your offer to photograph me.’ As long as it was always from the front; her back wasn’t photographable.

  Adam’s expression became remote. ‘I withdraw the offer.’ He stood up, leaving the money for their meal on the table. ‘Let’s go, I intend travelling a bit farther today.’

  She almost had to run to keep up with him. ‘Don’t you think I’d photograph well?’ She felt slightly chagrined by his change of mind, even if she knew it just wasn’t possible.

  ‘I’m sure you would.’

  ‘Then why—’

  He turned so suddenly she stopped speaking. ‘I’ve just changed my mind. Now, let’s drop the subject.’

  His tone brooked no argument. ‘What work are you doing over here?’ she asked.

  He quirked a mocking eyebrow. ‘What do you think?’

  ‘Well, I realise it’s photography,’ she said crossly, climbing into the passenger seat next to him. ‘But what are you photographing?’

  ‘Jasper National Park, mainly.’ He drove the camper out on to the highway, seeming to have no trouble driving on the opposite side of the road to what he was used to, unlike Gerald who had scared her to death a couple of times. ‘At least, parts of it. And the panoramic view from Banff Sulphur Mountain,’ he explained away his presence there yesterday.

  Katy frowned. ‘That doesn’t sound like your sort of work either.’

  ‘I don’t have a “sort”. I told you, I go where the work is, and right now the beauty of Canada is the therapy I need. Although you’re partly right about this job, I’m doing it as a favour to Jud.’

  ‘Jud?’ she queried.

  ‘You’re a nosy little thing, aren’t you?’ He gave her an impatient look. ‘Jud’s writing a book, illustrated of course, about the National Parks in this area. For reasons I would rather not go into, certain of the films I took earlier in the year were destroyed, so I’ve come back to retake those photographs.’

  ‘Jealous women!’ Katy remembered. ‘At the airport you said “God protect me from jealous women”. One of your women destroyed those films!’

  ‘Which school of detection did you go to?’ Adam taunted. ‘Whichever one it was it was a good one. Tanya destroyed the films because she thought they were of Laura. They weren’t, and she ruined hours of hard work.’

  ‘Exit Tanya.’

  ‘Correct,’ he nodded.

  ‘Enter Laura?’

  ‘No,’ he grinned, ‘enter Katy.’

  ‘Me?’ she squeaked.

  ‘Tanya would never believe our being together like this was force of circumstances. She would most likely want to scratch your eyes out.’

  ‘What a charming lady!’

  ‘She had her moments. But I just like to relax sometimes, and Tanya didn’t know the meaning of the word. I told you, I’ve never yet met a woman I can spend time with out of bed as well as in it. Most of them just wanted to drag me off to parties, parade me around as if I was on show for their friends. They don’t seem to know what the word privacy means,’ he said bitterly.

  ‘You’ve spent time just talking to me,’ she pointed out softly.

  For a moment he looked startled, then he smiled. ‘You’re different, Katy. I was talking about women as opposed to children.’

  She had been going to apologise for making him think of the dreadful things he had seen in that war-torn country, but now she just turned away. Every time she started to like him he said something insulting and she ended up hating him again.

  And it seemed she was stuck with him. She was going farther and farther away from where Gemma and Gerald were, and they didn’t want her anyway. They were despicable, the pair of them, and she was well rid of them.

  ‘So you really do sulk,’ Adam said with amusement as she continued to seethe. ‘I wondered if your sister could have just been exaggerating. She wasn’t.’

  To her shame her eyes flooded with tears. ‘That’s right,’ she choked. ‘You make me feel wanted too!’

  ‘Tears, Katy?’ he said softly. ‘Real tears?’

  ‘Well, of course they’re real,’ she sniffed inelegantly. ‘Just because you’re cynical about woment it doesn’t mean you have to be sarcastic to me.’

  ‘If I’m cynical,’ his voice was harsh, ‘then it’s women that have made me like it. I lived with someone for a few months once, you know. Another model, her name was Angel. God, she was the opposite of that!’

  ‘What happened?’ Katy asked curiously.

  ‘It all went sour. She was a bitch, a vicious little cat who liked to inflict pain. That isn’t my scene, and when I moved out she decided to sell the story of our affair to the newspapers.’

  Katy frowned. ‘I don’t remember it.’

  ‘That isn’t surprising, you were probably about ten at the time,’ he said disgustedly. ‘Half of it was made up, but you try proving you don’t do that sort of thing in the bedroom. I’ve never trusted a woman that close to me since. I’ll take them out, I’ll sleep with them, but I don’t allow them into my life.’

  ‘Are you warning me off?’ she asked.

  ‘Did I sound as if I was?’.

  ‘Yes,’ she nodded. ‘Which is rather arrogant of you. I never asked to be let into your life.’

  ‘You seem to be in it.’ Adam turned the camper into one of the official campsites. ‘We’ll stay here tonight and carry on to Jasper in the morning.’

  ‘Are there any shops here?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘But I only have the clothes I’m wearing! I thought I would be able to buy some more when we stopped for the night.’ Although it wouldn’t be much, she didn’t have that much money.

  He shook his head. ‘Not here. You’ll just have to wash your things out and buy some new things tomorrow when we reach Jasper.’

  ‘But—’

  ‘I’ve driven far enough for one day, Katy,’ he told her firmly.

  They picked out one of the campsites, fresh logs stacked next to the barbecue.

  ‘Do you have any food in?’ Katy asked him.

  ‘Jud left us fully stocked up. I’ll light the fire now so that it’s going nicely by the time we want to cook our food. Are chops all right with you?’

  ‘Anything, I don’t mind.’

  They worked together in silence, Adam seeing to the fire while Katy sorted out the food:

  ‘Adam…’ she said tentatively.

  ‘Mm?’ He looked up from adding more logs.

  ‘Adam, I—I won’t be sharing— What I mean is—’

  ‘You’ll be sleeping in the same bed as you did last night,’ he finished. ‘And so will I. I’m riot going to force a relationship on you that you don’t want. I won’t deny that this arrangement would work out better if we were lovers, but as we aren’t…’ he shrugged, ‘we’ll just have to make the best of it. I don�
�t like unwilling women in my bed, and at the hotel you made it obvious you were unwilling.’

  And at Banff she had shown the opposite! Surely he must have realised that? If he had he was choosing to ignore it. ‘Well, as long as you realise…’ she said awkwardly.

  ‘Oh, I realise,’ he gave a tight smile. ‘You can put the chops on now,’ he told her abruptly.

  Katy had never cooked over a barbecue before and wasn’t making a very good job of it, terrified she was going to burn herself, as fire was one of her dreads. Pretty soon Adam took over from her, his impatience with her uneasiness obvious. She went and sat on one of the bench seats next to the picnic table, her bearing one of dejection.

  ‘Cheer up,’ Adam turned to grin at her. ‘And come back next to the fire, you’ll freeze to death over there.’

  It was very cold and it was with great reluctance that she did as he suggested. She huddled down into her anorak. ‘Why is it so much colder here than at Banff?’ she shivered.

  His grin widened. ‘Don’t you know where you are?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Athabasca Glacier,’ he supplied mockingly.

  A glacier! No wonder she was cold! ‘Charming,’ she grimaced.

  ‘I’ll show it to you in the morning.’ He turned the chops over. ‘Watch these while I go and get some plates.’

  He made her feel very inadequate, and she glowered after his retreating back.

  A girl seemed to appear from nowhere, wearing one of the park’s official brown suits.

  ‘I’m collecting fees, ma’am,’ she smiled; she was a pretty girl of Katy’s age, with wavy brown hair and a lovely clear skin.

  ‘Oh—oh yes,’ Katy put up a hand to her own untidy hair. ‘I—’

  ‘Here you are,’ Adam came out of the camper, handing over some dollars. ‘It’s a bit colder than the last time I was here,’ he smiled at the young girl.

  She smiled back in recognition. ‘It certainly is. I see you brought your wife with you this time. Have a nice evening.’ She went on to the next site.

  ‘Pretty girl,’ Katy said nervously, not liking the brooding expression in Adam’s eyes.

  ‘Yes,’ he agreed absently, moving determinedly towards her. He wrenched her left hand out into the firelight. ‘What the hell is this?’ he indicated the gold band on her third finger.