Undying Love Read online

  ‘Shanna!’ Rick rasped worriedly as he came striding into the room, sitting on the side of the bed as she struggled to sit up, grasping her shoulders painfully as she swayed weakly. ‘What the hell is it?’ he demanded, shaking her. ‘Shanna, speak to me! Are you on something?’ he grated roughly.

  ‘On something?’ She pushed her dark hair back out of her eyes. ‘What—No,’ she groaned in denial. ‘No, of course not. I was tired, you know I was. I—What are you doing here?’ She was coming fully awake now. ‘How did you get in?’

  ‘Your lock isn’t very strong—’

  ‘You broke in?’ she gasped.

  ‘No, I didn’t break in,’ he dismissed impatiently, standing up to thrust his hands into his trouser pockets, navy blue trousers that clung to the lean length of his thighs and legs, a lighter blue shirt fitting tautly over his chest and stomach. ‘I told you, that lock is too fragile. A credit card and a little skill and I was in within seconds.’

  ‘You broke in!’ she accused.

  ‘And what was I supposed to do?’ He glared down at her, his eyes black. ‘I could hear water running and no one answered the door when I rang. I knew you were tired, despite your denial earlier—you could have fallen asleep in the bath and drowned for all I knew!’

  Only one thing he said made any sense to Shanna—or rather it didn’t make sense. ‘Water running?’ she frowned her puzzlement.

  ‘Yes. Can’t you hear it?’

  She could now, now that he had pointed it out. But where was it coming from? She didn’t remember—‘The shower…’ she realised weakly.

  Rick gave her an impatient glance before striding into the adjoining bathroom, and the sound of the water spray stopped seconds later. When he came back seconds later he just stood looking down at her.

  Shanna moistened her lips, then straightened her robe, checking that the belt was fastened securely before she stood up, conscious of her nakedness beneath the green silky material even if Rick wasn’t. Although she had a feeling he was more than aware of it as his gaze never left her as she moved about the room.

  ‘You were asleep.’ He was finally the one to speak. ‘What was the shower doing on?’

  Once again she moistened her lips with the tip of her tongue. ‘I was going to take a shower, and then I—then I decided to take a nap first and shower later. I—I must have forgotten to turn off the water.’ She omitted the most important part, about how weary she had suddenly felt after undressing, how she hadn’t had the strength to step beneath the water she had been running, how she just had to lie down. She didn’t tell Rick any of that, and she didn’t intend telling anyone else of the feelings of weakness that had been increasing lately, how sometimes she couldn’t even get out of bed in the morning. It was no one’s business but her own, she owed no explanations to anyone.

  ‘Do you often—forget to do things like that?’

  ‘I—Sometimes,’ she dismissed lightly.

  ‘It doesn’t sound like the Shanna Logan I know.’

  She shrugged. ‘I’m not at work now, Rick. I’m allowed to forget things in my own home. I was just waking up when you rang the doorbell. I would have been there to answer it—’

  ‘But you couldn’t get up,’ Rick frowned. ‘Are you always this tired when you get home from work?’

  No, sometimes she was even tireder! ‘No, of course not,’ she snapped. ‘Look, instead of questioning me would you mind telling me what you’re doing here?’

  ‘Dinner,’ he stated bluntly.

  She flushed angrily. ‘But I told you—’

  ‘That you wouldn’t have dinner with me.’

  ‘Will you stop putting words into my mouth and listen to me!’ she snapped. ‘I’m capable of speaking for myself.’

  ‘I’ve noticed,’ he drawled. ‘But as you wouldn’t have dinner with me I decided to come and have dinner with you.’

  ‘I’m not going out to dinner, either with you or without you.’

  ‘Now you’re the one who isn’t listening. I said I’ve come to have dinner with you.’ He took his hands out of his pockets. ‘Which is precisely what I intend doing. While you dress I’ll get dinner.’

  ‘Rick!’ she stopped him at the door. ‘Rick, I’m going out.’

  ‘Not before you’ve eaten,’ he shook his head. ‘Then if you still want to go out I’ll take you. Didn’t you eat lunch, is that why you look so washed out?’

  She drew in an angry breath. ‘You certainly know how to flatter a woman!’

  ‘You look terrible, Shanna—’

  ‘I don’t have my make-up on,’ she snapped. ‘Can I help it if you don’t like the naked me?’

  ‘Oh, I like the naked you, Shanna,’ he took a threatening step towards her. ‘What I can see I like very much.’ His long sensitive hands framed each side of her face. ‘I just don’t like to see the shadows under these beautiful green eyes.’ His thumbtips smoothed the dark circles beneath her eyes. ‘And you’re so pale. Sweetheart, you don’t look well,’ he frowned.

  ‘I’m always pale when I wake up,’ she excused herself abruptly. ‘Just give me a few minutes and I’ll put on my make-up and get dressed. I’ll look fine then. But I don’t have anything in for dinner, Rick, nothing I could give you anyway.’

  ‘I brought it with me,’ he dismissed. ‘Hotels are okay when I’m away on business, but I get a little tired of restaurant food. I went shopping for steak and salad, cheesecake, wine, and—’

  ‘You did?’ she looked at him in disbelief. ‘You went shopping in a supermarket?’

  His mouth twisted. ‘You can’t see me doing that, eh?’

  ‘No,’ she answered truthfully.

  ‘To tell you the truth, I’ve never done it before,’ he shook his head. ‘It was like a jungle.’

  ‘I’m sure you’re the first millionaire they ever had in their shop.’ She couldn’t help her humour.

  ‘Shanna, let me cook you dinner,’ his voice was husky. ‘Then if you aren’t still pale I’ll take you wherever you want to go.’

  ‘And stay with me,’ she realised dryly.

  ‘Of course,’ he drawled. ‘Privilege of the cook.’

  Shanna stepped away from him, relieved when he made no effort to stop her. ‘I only have your word for it that you can cook. You’re right, I did miss lunch, and I need a good dinner, not a burnt offering,’ she mocked him.

  ‘Just wait and see,’ he warned. ‘You’ll want me to cook for you again.’

  ‘Not if you break in I won’t.’ She began to brush her hair. ‘Do you realise I could have you arrested?’

  ‘But you won’t,’ he said confidently.

  ‘I’m still thinking about it!’ His manner angered her.

  ‘In that case,’ he stepped over the frivolous green mule slippers she had taken off before lying down on the bed, coming determinedly towards her, ‘I’d rather it was for something more interesting than opening that feeble lock.’

  ‘Rick—’

  ‘Shanna,’ he taunted, taking the brush out of her hand before pulling her hard against him. ‘You have the sexiest body I’ve ever seen,’ he murmured throatily. ‘Or touched. Or wanted. You’re driving me insane, sweetheart,’ he groaned before his mouth possessed hers.

  She told herself afterwards that her defences had been down after her sleep, that she wasn’t properly awake. Whatever her excuse, she responded to Rick Dalmont with an abandonment that later made her blush with shame.

  But right now there was no thought for anything but Rick’s mouth moving druggingly over hers, the heat of his body pressed against her, his hands roaming freely over her slender curves.

  ‘God, how I’ve waited for this,’ he groaned into her throat, his mouth moving slowly down to the hollows at its base, his tongue tasting every silken inch.

  Shanna trembled against him, the first sexual excitement she had known in a long time ripping through her body in a red-hot ache, and she made no demur when he swung her up in his arms to place her on the pale green sil
k bedspread, curving his lean length against her side as he continued to kiss her on the mouth.

  His hands moved with deft movements to the single tie-fastening of her robe, untying the simple knot, parting the silky material to reveal her nakedness. ‘Oh, God…’ he murmured shakily, his own body leaping with desire as one of his hands moved tentatively up to cup her breast, his thumb moving with sure arousal over the deep red tip. With a groan his head lowered and his lips caught the nipple in pleasure-giving movements, his tongue soft and then hard in circular movements.

  Shanna arched against him, a moan escaping her throat as he bit down erotically on the hardened nipple, sucking it deeper into his mouth, tugging gently. Her breathing was ragged as he continued to caress the other breast, the other nipple now caught between thumb and finger as he squeezed with just enough pressure to make her shudder with desire.

  She was lost in a haze of passion and need as he parted her legs to move between her thighs, the roughness of his clothing abrasively pleasure-giving as he moved down her body with slow kisses of discovery and desire, lingering over her navel before moving down to the mound of her womanhood.

  Shanna whimpered softly as she felt his lips and tongue there, shaking so badly now she was almost out of control, her breath coming in sobbing gasps.

  Rick moved up beside her, frowning his concern. ‘I’m not hurting you?’ he asked gently, smoothing back her hair.

  She swallowed hard, shaking her head. ‘I just—It’s been too long—It’s too much for me!’ she moistened her dry lips with the tip of her tongue. ‘I’m not sure I’m ready for this.’

  His eyes darkened even more, a deep enigmatic black as he gazed down at her for long timeless seconds. ‘Then we’ll wait until you are ready.’ He spoke huskily, swinging his legs off the bed to stand up. ‘You’re looking pale again anyway. I think I should feed you, not make love to you.’ He leant over to touch her cheek with a gentleness that brought tears to her eyes. ‘Dinner in ten minutes,’ he said briskly. ‘Is that long enough for you to dress? If not, just stay as you are.’

  She couldn’t do that, they both knew that. Whatever had happened just now she had no control over it, knew that Rick had been the one in control from start to finish, and to stay in this robe would be an invitation to more of the same.

  Ten minutes later she was dressed in a severe black dress, its high collar and loose style giving her a look of cool sophistication rather than flattering the perfection of her body, her make-up erasing the pale and tired appearance she had had when she woke up. Rick was in the kitchen when she joined him, and she withstood his searching gaze with cool challenge, determined not to blush or show embarrassment at the intimate discovery he had made of her body. Not in front of him anyway! Later, when she was alone, it would be a different matter.

  ‘Can I do anything to help you?’ she queried distantly.

  Rick’s mouth twisted. ‘No, thanks, I’m over it now,’ he taunted.

  He was being deliberately provocative, and her mouth tightened. ‘Dinner smells delicious.’ She refused to be drawn into an intimate conversation with him, intending showing him that nothing had changed between them because of a few moments of weakness in his arms.

  ‘Then let’s hope it is,’ he nodded, and turned back to the steaks.

  ‘You didn’t answer my question,’ she prompted.

  ‘What was it?’ he derided.

  ‘Would you like me to do anything?’

  ‘Several things,’ he drawled. ‘But all of them are out of the question at the moment; the meal is almost ready.’

  ‘If you’re going to be rude I’ll leave you to it!’ she snapped, turning to walk out of the room.

  Rick caught up with her in two strides, jerking her round to face him. His eyes glittered down at her. ‘Don’t try and pretend that what we just shared together didn’t happen,’ he grated. ‘It happened, Shanna,’ he told her grimly. ‘I know, because I still ache for you in my gut!’

  ‘Rick—’

  ‘I let you go this time, Shanna, but next time I won’t. You understand me?’ He shook her slightly.

  She swallowed hard. ‘I understand.’

  ‘As long as you do.’ He thrust her away from him and returned to the grilling steaks.

  They ate in silence, neither of them in the mood to break it. Shanna was too full of self-recrimination, and Rick, she felt sure, was kicking himself for turning down this golden opportunity he had had to make love to her. She was determined there wouldn’t be a ‘next time’.

  ‘You’re a very good cook,’ she told him once they had cleared away.

  ‘Thanks,’ he nodded abruptly, enjoying one of his cheroots after their meal.

  ‘Where did you learn to cook like that?’

  ‘University. Shanna—’

  ‘Which university did you go to?’ she asked quickly.

  ‘What the hell does that matter?’ he rasped.

  ‘I was just interested—’

  ‘You were just avoiding my conversation, is what you were doing,’ he bit out grimly, stubbing the cheroot out in the glass ashtray. ‘I’m not going to be put back in that ice-box, Shanna,’ he told her tautly. ‘I made love to you an hour ago, and I’m not going to let either of us forget it.’

  ‘It was a mistake—’

  ‘It was beautiful,’ he corrected harshly. ‘It was better with you than with any other woman I’ve ever known.’

  Her mouth twisted. ‘That line is far from original, Rick,’ she derided. ‘We also know it’s untrue.’

  ‘Damn you, it’s the truth!’ he told her savagely, sitting forward. ‘I’m not dealing in lines here, I’m dealing in sanity—mine. If you want to drive me out of my mind just keep saying no.’

  ‘I intend to!’

  ‘And I’ll just keep showing you that you really mean yes! Damn it, Shanna, I know I said I wanted to take your husband’s place—’

  ‘For three months,’ she scorned.

  He gave an angry sigh. ‘For any amount of time. I know now that isn’t possible for any man, that your husband will always remain a part of you.’

  ‘A part you aren’t interested in!’ Her eyes flashed.

  ‘Not true.’ He shook his head, coming down on the carpet in front of her chair and taking her hands in his. ‘Tell me about him, Shanna, talk to me. Tell me what went wrong between you—’

  ‘No!’ she wrenched away from him. ‘I don’t intend discussing any aspect of my marriage with you, not the beginning or the end of it. I’m Perry’s widow, that’s all you need to know—or respect. But you don’t respect widowhood, do you, Rick?’ she scorned. ‘You’ve shown that from the first.’

  ‘I respect the living; the dead are exactly that—dead. No matter how long you show your love and loyalty to Perry, a month, a year, ten years, he’ll still be exactly that—dead,’ Rick said grimly. ‘No amount of celibacy—or loneliness—can change that.’

  ‘I remain celibate, and lonely, through choice,’ she told him raggedly. ‘You obviously can’t be either. Why do you always have to be proving what a macho man you are?’ she derided. ‘And why are you afraid to be on your own occasionally?’

  He was frowning darkly. ‘I’m not macho, Shanna. I could be very gentle with you if you would let me close enough. And I’m often alone, people who spend a lot of their life in hotels usually are. The others, my secretaries and assistants, all go their own way when we leave the particular company we’re working with at the time.’

  ‘I’ve seen the “way” you go from the newspapers,’ she dismissed hardly.

  ‘You make me sound like a sex-hungry Romeo!’

  She remained unflinching in the face of his anger. ‘And aren’t you?’

  ‘I enjoy women, I’ve never made any secret of that, not since the first time when I was sixteen. But I only have a healthy sexual appetite, not the excessive one you’re implying. If I were married it would be perfectly normal for me to make love to my wife three or four times a week, although
I’m told that twice is the norm,’ he derided. ‘And it’s possibly a lot higher than that when you first marry. You would know more about that than I do?’ he raised mocking brows.

  Shanna flushed, her mouth tight. ‘You’re doing very well without any help from me.’

  A grin flashed across his harsh features before he was once again serious. ‘Well I, as a bachelor, do not make love three or four times a week. I haven’t made love for over three weeks, now, for instance,’ he added pointedly.

  The blush stayed in her cheeks this time, knowing she was the reason for his abstinance; he was nothing if not singleminded, and his pursuit of her had definately been that. ‘Is that a record?’ she scorned.

  He drew in a harsh breath. ‘As a matter of fact, yes! Does that give you satisfaction?’

  ‘Your sex life doesn’t interest me.’ She turned away.

  Rick straightened, looking down at her. ‘It doesn’t interest me much at the moment either, it’s non-existant!’

  ‘Maybe that will change tonight.’ Her mouth twisted at his raised brows. ‘I don’t mean with me. If you come to the party with me now I’m sure there’ll be plenty of women there only too happy to help you with your—little problem.’

  ‘It isn’t little.’ He laughed at her indignant gasp. ‘And my parents could tell you that a very stubborn child grew into a dogmatic man. I don’t want any of the women at the party, Shanna.’

  ‘You haven’t even seen them yet!’

  ‘And I’m not going to. Neither are you, for that matter.’

  ‘What do you mean?’ she frowned.

  ‘I told you I would take you wherever you wanted to go if you didn’t still look pale. You do, so you aren’t going anywhere, except maybe to bed.’

  ‘You—’

  ‘Alone,’ he drawled. ‘To sleep. Now.’