Just One Night (Presents Plus) Page 9

  Hawk gave a weary sigh. ‘I never meant for that to happen—’

  ‘I’m sure you didn’t plan Leonie Spencer’s pregnancy,’ Jake jeered. ‘But you certainly planned her seduction!’

  ‘What the hell does it have to do with you anyway?’ Hawk demanded impatiently. ‘I made a mistake—’

  ‘And those two are going to pay for it,’ Jake attacked. ‘Isn’t it time you grew up, Hawk?’ he challenged. ‘Took time out from the life you’ve led and realised just what a selfish bastard you’ve been all these years!’

  Hawk’s eyes narrowed on his friend as he realised the remark—and the anger—was directed at Jake as much as at him. God, how he wished the other man would confide what was worrying him! But Jake was adamant that nothing was bothering him, he just wanted to do different things with his life than he was doing now, he said.

  ‘Jake—’

  ‘Are you going to marry her?’

  Hawk shrugged. ‘I’ve asked her. She doesn’t want to marry me, Jake,’ he confided as he saw his friend’s anger rising again. ‘She says I can take Holly, though,’ he added huskily.

  Jake blinked his uncertainty. ‘You aren’t going to?’ he finally asked softly.

  Hawk drew in a ragged breath. ‘No. I told you, she’s—special. She was even before I know about Holly,’ he admitted gruffly. ‘Now how about telling me what’s been bothering you all these weeks?’ he prompted softly.

  He could visibly see the way Jake suddenly distanced himself, as if he deeply regretted becoming involved in the conversation.

  Jake gave him a derisive look. ‘Can’t you believe I would want any other sort of life than the one we’ve been leading the last sixteen years?’ he taunted.

  Hawk gave an inward sigh of regret. He and this man were too close, had been through too much together, for them to lose their friendship now. But it seemed to be slipping away from them.

  ‘It hasn’t been that bad, Jake,’ he chided huskily.

  ‘No?’ his friend scorned. ‘We’re both over forty—just, in your case,’ he acknowledged derisively. ‘And what do either of us have to show for our lives, really have to show?’

  ‘Now this is a mid-life crisis—’

  ‘I’m serious, damn it!’ Jake rasped impatiently. ‘I’m forty-three years old, my son’s lived away from me for so long he’s almost a stranger, and I go home to an empty flat and an empty bed every night. I may not deserve more from my life, but I want it!’

  Now wasn’t the time to point out that until quite recently Jake hadn’t gone home to an empty bed very often, because in the last few weeks that had been the case. Why hadn’t he realised that Jake hadn’t dated anyone recently either? Because, he admitted heavily, his own mind had been too full of wanting to see Leonie again.

  But whether Jake accepted it or not, it did sound as if he had reached a point in his life, and at forty-three he had definitely reached mid-life, where he wanted the normality of a family life, like other men had. Knowing how badly he wanted that with Leonie now, he could sympathise with his friend.

  ‘It isn’t too late, Jake—’

  ‘You don’t know a damn thing about it,’ the other man bit out harshly. ‘I lived my life the way I wanted to, and now I’ve got to pay for it.’

  ‘What—’

  ‘Does Hal know about Holly?’ Jake cut in abruptly.

  End of subject? It would appear so, from his friend’s expression. Damn it, just when he had been so close to breaking through the barriers Jake had built up around himself lately! But if Jake wanted to change the direction of his life what right did he have to stop him? There were several things in his own life, especially recently, that he would have done differently if he could have done them over.

  He frowned. ‘I’m going to tell him and Laura when they arrive later. I don’t need to tell you that what you know about Leonie and me—and Holly—is to go no further than the two of us?’ He studied his friend with narrowed eyes.

  ‘Doubting the confidentiality of your personal assistant?’ derided Jake.

  ‘Trying to protect Leonie—and I don’t need you to tell me I’m a little late!’ Hawk added harshly. ‘I’m doing the best that I can to make amends.’

  Jake nodded. ‘I can see that. I only hope Hal can too.’

  He gave the other man a considering look. ‘What do you mean?’

  Jake shrugged. ‘You seduced the sister of the woman he loves; I doubt if he’s going to take that sitting down!’

  ‘Neither do I,’ Hawk admitted ruefully.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  HER SISTER was ecstatic, Leonie thought; there could be no doubting her happiness at being reunited with Hal. The misery of the last months had been completely erased in her now glowing eyes and happily curving lips.

  Hal couldn’t stop touching Laura, as if he needed that physical assurance that they were finally going to be married. He was as handsome as ever, a young version of his father, although only in looks, possessing none of the cynicism so prevalent in his father’s nature. Leonie was sure that with his marriage to Laura he never would learn that cynicism!

  With them they had brought a young man by the name of Stephen Colter, and from his looks—and the obvious help of his surname—Leonie realised this had to be Jake Colter’s son. He was perhaps a year older than Hal, and the two young men were obviously good friends. In fact, Hal had brought the other man with him so that he could be a witness at the wedding.

  ‘Hal didn’t tell me Laura had a double, otherwise I would have asked for an introduction sooner,’ Stephen leant slightly across the dinner-table to confide.

  Leonie smiled slightly at his obvious flirting, relieved that she was seated between him and Hal at the table.

  She hadn’t wanted to see Hawk any more today, that one encounter had been enough to have seriously damaged her defences, but she had realised it would only upset Laura if she hadn’t joined in the family dinner to celebrate her engagement to Hal. The emerald ring he had presented to her sister as soon as they met at the airport flashed brilliantly on Laura’s left hand; the wedding itself was planned for several days’ time.

  Hal had greeted his father a little distantly, and it appeared the last months had put a severe strain on their relationship too. Leonie had little sympathy for Hawk, as knowing how much Hal had always admired his father she knew how deeply he must have been hurt to treat Hawk the way he was doing.

  Hawk. It was a round dining-table, so no one could sit at its head, and yet Hawk seemed to dominate the proceedings. Leonie ignored his presence as much as she was able.

  Which wasn’t all that easy when there were just the five of them seated for the meal, Stephen and Laura sitting either side of Hawk. Looking at him now, as his narrowed gaze watched the close attention Stephen was paying her, she thought he definitely had the look of that bird of prey his name implied!

  Why shouldn’t she enjoy Stephen’s company! He was a very pleasant young man, and had his father’s recklessly handsome good looks. And most important of all, he was uncomplicated. After the battering her emotions had taken lately that came as a welcome change!

  Stephen’s father and Sarah Ames had already returned to their hotel for the night by the time the threesome arrived from London, and with Laura and Hal’s preoccupation with each other Stephen seemed to want her company too.

  ‘I think Hal must have also forgotten to mention that if we’d been introduced any sooner, before a month ago anyway, you wouldn’t have given me a second look!’ she returned teasingly.

  ‘How do you know pregnant women don’t turn me on?’ he returned with a devilish twinkle in his eyes.

  Leonie laughed. She couldn’t help it. After the tension of the last couple of days Stephen’s sense of humour appealed to her.

  ‘Hey, don’t laugh!’ He looked affronted, although the twinkle remained in his eyes. ‘A lot of men are, you know.’

  ‘Are what?’

  Leonie sobered as Hawk picked up their conversation.
And if the steely glitter in his eyes was anything to go by he didn’t care for the fact that she and Stephen were conversing at all.

  ‘Leonie and I were just discussing the merits of pregnant women,’ Stephen supplied in all innocence. ‘I think they must be very sexy.’

  Grey eyes narrowed dangerously. ‘And what does Leonie think?’ rasped Hawk.

  Her smile was directed at Stephen. ‘I think you men ought to try being pregnant for a while and see how sexy it makes you feel!’

  Stephen looked disappointed. ‘And I thought a woman’s hormones went wild at times like that!’

  ‘Maybe they do,’ she consoled. ‘I was just feeling too ill most of the time to notice.’

  ‘That bastard Spencer has a lot to answer for,’ Hal grated, his face flushed with anger.

  Leonie shot Hawk an uncertain glance. Hal and Laura had only arrived with Stephen a short time ago, so there had been no opportunity to talk to the engaged couple alone.

  ‘Can’t you see you’re embarrassing Leonie?’ declared Hawk. ‘We can discuss this some other time,’ he reproved his son.

  ‘Sorry, Leonie.’ Hal looked abashed, a tall self-confident young man who lacked none of his father’s arrogance. ‘I just get so angry when I think of what you’ve gone through the last nine months!’

  Which didn’t augur well for when he was told the truth about that painful time. But she knew the truth couldn’t be kept from him or Laura, that it was too important for that.

  Stephen put down his fork even though he had only eaten half of his meal. ‘I’d better drive into town and say hello to Dad,’ he grimaced.

  ‘You don’t have to hurry off on our account,’ Leonie protested, aware of their rudeness in discussing something he could have no knowledge of. ‘Please stay and finish your dinner,’ she encouraged.

  He smiled, shaking his head. ‘I really had better go and let Dad know I’m here. He’s been acting a little strange about things like that lately,’ he added ruefully.

  ‘I think he just feels,’ Hawk answered softly, ‘that he’s missed out on a lot of things in his life by working at the pace we have.’ He looked at Hal before focusing all his attention on Leonie. ‘I think we both have,’ he added gruffly.

  ‘He’s not old,’ Stephen dismissed. ‘Women certainly find him attractive enough,’ he mocked lightly. ‘You too, Hawk.’ He looked admiringly at the older man.

  Leonie found nothing admirable about the way Hawk had used and discarded women most of his life, although she accepted that a lot of women would accept the challenge of attracting such a man. She would give anything not to have him attracted to her!

  ‘It isn’t enough, Stephen,’ grated Hawk. ‘And your father realises that too.’

  Stephen shrugged. ‘Dad can do anything he wants with his life, it’s the way he’s been trying to take over mine that I object to,’ he gave a rueful grimace. ‘A fine time to think he can step in and start running things his way!’

  Hawk gave a rueful laugh. ‘It seems to be something all fathers try to do at some time in their lives. It often takes us a while to realise it, but in the end we have to admit we were wrong and butt out.’ He looked apologetically at Hal and Laura. ‘If we’re lucky we’re forgiven for our arrogance,’ he said huskily.

  ‘I hope Dad realises he’s wrong pretty soon,’ Stephen sighed. ‘At twenty-one I’m a little old to start being treated like a child again!’

  There was complete silence in the room once Stephen had left, and Leonie could see from her sister’s pained expression that she was waiting as tensely for what happened next. Hawk had given a public apology to Hal just now, but how was Hal going to react to it?

  He drew in a ragged breath, his hand resting over Laura’s as it lay on her thigh. ‘I know what you were trying to say just now,’ he bit out. ‘And I even understand why you did what you did. Just don’t expect me to thank you for it!’

  Hawk nodded acceptance of his son’s anger. ‘Maybe once you’re a father yourself you’ll realise just how difficult it is to always make the right decision where your children are concerned. There isn’t any formal training for this job, you know, it’s all a question of trial and error.’ He gave a weary shrug. ‘I’ve made my share of mistakes with you, and I’m sorry for it. I can only hope to try and do a better job with—’

  ‘Your grandchildren,’ Leonie put in quickly, flashing Hawk a warning look as he turned to her frowningly.

  She hadn’t realised the resentment Hal felt towards his father was still so strong; she knew that if Hal were to learn now that Holly was his sister it could strain the relationship to breaking point. Much as she disliked Hawk, and wished him far away from here, and her, she didn’t want to achieve it that way, sure the implication of Holly’s birth, when she had been conceived, was something Hal wouldn’t be able to accept at this moment in his life.

  ‘Leonie—’

  ‘I think I’d better take your father away and give the two of you some privacy before he starts telling you just when you should start providing him with these grandchildren,’ she told Hal lightly, and was rewarded with his grin of amusement and Laura’s coy blush as she stood up to look pointedly at Hawk.

  He got slowly to his feet, obviously not happy with the situation, and followed her out into the garden with angry strides.

  ‘Why the hell—’

  ‘Because Hal still resents what you asked of them too much to understand what happened nine months ago,’ she groaned. ‘And feeling the way that he does he’s going to think you deliberately used me, set out to hurt me, because of his involvement with Laura.’

  ‘I did hurt you,’ he rasped.

  She sighed. ‘Not deliberately. But I very much doubt Hal will believe that, and he’ll blame himself for it. And how do you think he’s going to feel about marrying Laura when he believes you did that to her sister? And it’s no good saying it shouldn’t affect them.’ She shook her head as he went to speak. ‘Hal just may be honourable enough to feel he shouldn’t marry Laura at all after what you did to me.’

  Hawk came to an abrupt halt, fighting an inner battle with himself, finally sighing heavily, a pained frown on his brow. ‘God, I’ve made a mess of things!’ he groaned, running a hand through his hair, leaving the trail of his long fingers in the ebony softness.

  ‘You only made love to a woman you desired, I was the one who chose to bring Holly into the world. If I hadn’t that night nine months ago could have been forgotten by everyone,’ said Leonie dully.

  He shook his head. ‘You couldn’t have done anything else, not after—Daniel.’

  Pain like a knife being thrust into her chest coursed through her at the mention of her son’s name. He had been so tiny, so perfect, and she had sat holding his hand as he lay in the incubator he had been placed in straight after birth, watching the shuddering of his tiny chest as he drew air into his lungs, until that tiny shudder came no more, and she knew her son was dead.

  She could guess exactly why Laura had told Hawk about Daniel. With Daniel had died all her hopes and dreams for the future. They had to remain dead.

  ‘No,’ she acknowledged gruffly. ‘But I don’t think we should tell Hal you’re Holly’s father until after the wedding next week.’

  Hawk gave a deep sigh. ‘I’m not happy with leaving things the way they are—’

  ‘You think I am?’ Her eyes flashed. ‘Go ahead, Hawk,’ she challenged. ‘Tell Hal and Laura you took me to bed one night and fathered Holly, but don’t blame me if you gain a daughter only to lose your son!’ She was breathing hard in her agitation, swaying slightly as the strength seemed to drain from her. ‘Don’t touch me!’ she ordered Hawk as he would have reached out for her. ‘Haven’t you touched me enough?’

  * * *

  Never enough. He wanted to touch again the silken satin of her body, to kiss every freckle she had. And every delicious inch of her was covered in those adorable freckles.

  Maybe he shouldn’t desire her now, she hadn’t long h
ad his baby, and was still unfit, if her lack of strength was anything to go by. But he couldn’t stop wanting her, and now he wanted to protect her as well. It was a dangerous combination.

  ‘Yes, you bastard!’ Hal was suddenly upon him without warning. ‘Haven’t you hurt her enough!’ His powerful right hand landed angrily against Hawk’s jaw.

  The force of the blow, the unexpectedness of it, knocked him off his feet. ‘What the hell—’ he began.

  ‘Holly woke up while the two of you were out walking,’ Hal’s eyes glittered as he towered over Hawk, his hands still clenched into fists at his sides. ‘Laura introduced me to my sister!’

  Hawk drew in a steadying breath as he got slowly to his feet, studiously brushing the dirt from his palms. He was very much aware that what he said in the next few minutes could affect his relationship with Hal for the rest of their lives. But what could he say to vindicate himself? The fact that he hadn’t known of Leonie’s emotional scars didn’t excuse what he had put her through.

  ‘Hal, stop this!’ Surprisingly Leonie was the one to answer him. ‘I realise meeting Holly that way, recognising her, has been a shock to you—’

  ‘Shock!’ echoed Hal scornfully. ‘It was like looking at pictures of myself as a baby! I should have known you wouldn’t let Spencer near you again, that he had something to do with your pregnancy!’ He glared at Hawk with dislike.

  ‘I—’

  ‘He had everything to do with Holly’s existence,’ again Leonie was the one to answer Hal. ‘But I wanted him too, Hal,’ she added quietly.

  Hawk looked at her with sharp eyes. Was she just saying that for Hal’s sake or did she really mean it? My God, he thought, she meant it! He could see the truth of it in her eyes. He could also see that it wasn’t an admission she enjoyed making, to herself as much as anyone else. But she had admitted it! Did she still want him? The emphatic answer to that had to be no; he was another emotion she had cut out of her life.

  ‘I don’t believe you,’ Hal dismissed, reminding Hawk that it was his son he should be concerned with right now. ‘He isn’t your type at all.’ He looked at Hawk with disgust.