The Loving Gift Read online

  She could imagine surprise wasn’t all the other two women would feel if he were ever to make such an announcement!

  Not that he ever would, of course; she would make very certain that he knew she never would ‘have him’ before he returned to London. His life had been in ruins once already, and she wouldn’t allow it to happen to him a second time because of something in her past.

  It was already too late to prevent herself being hurt; she knew now that she had started to love him!

  How could she help it? David was everything any woman could possibly want. Everything. But there was one thing she was determined he would never be, and that was hurt by what had happened eighteen months ago. She wouldn’t allow that to touch him.

  ‘I’m not going with you today.’ Her voice was gruffly abrupt as she forced the words out. ‘I—I don’t feel too well after yesterday,’ she hastily invented as disappointment clouded his face. ‘I think I must have caught a chill when we were out in the snow.’

  Concern instantly darkened his ruggedly handsome face. ‘God, I never thought—you shouldn’t be out of bed if you feel ill,’ he frowned, already taking a firm hold of her arm and marching her towards the stairs. ‘I thought when I arrived that you looked a little pale, but I put that down to—’

  ‘What do you think you’re doing?’ Jade gasped as they reached the top of the stairs and he gently pushed her towards her open bedroom door.

  David gave her a mockingly chiding look, sitting her on the bed and going down on his haunches in front of her to take off her shoes. ‘Helping you, nothing else,’ he derided her alarm.

  ‘But—’

  ‘God, your feet are like blocks of ice!’ he scolded, rubbing them between the warmth of his hands.

  She had got her feet wet trudging out in the snow this morning, and they hadn’t felt warm since, although she had felt little inclination to go and put dry socks on.

  There was something very erotic about having David massage her feet in this way, and she pulled sharply away from him.

  ‘Steady,’ he reproved, not releasing her.

  ‘There’s no need for this,’ her voice was harsh. ‘I just have a chill—’

  ‘I can feel that.’ He wasn’t in the least deterred by her dismissive attitude. ‘I’m not surprised; it’s freezing up here.’ He looked about the tiny room censoriously.

  ‘The heat from the fire downstairs hasn’t quite reached this far yet—’

  ‘I think the best thing to do is get you into bed and then I’ll go down and check on the heating,’ David murmured to himself, almost as if she hadn’t spoken—which she might just as well not have done, for all the notice he was taking of her. ‘I’m not sure you should stay on here anyway if you aren’t feeling well.’ He shook his head.

  Her eyes widened. ‘Of course I’m staying here—’

  ‘The heating is unpredictable at best,’ he continued as if she still hadn’t voiced a protest. ‘And you can’t possibly keep the fire going if you’re ill up here in bed. I think it would be best if I took you back with me to the house—’

  Jade gasped. ‘I have no intention—’

  ‘Unless, of course, you’ll agree to the idea of my moving in here for a few days to take care of you?’ He looked at her with mocking eyes. ‘Just until you get over the worst of it.’

  ‘It’s only a slight chill, David,’ she cut in firmly. ‘Not enough to incapacitate me, just enough to make me feel slightly unsociable.’ God, she wished she had never started the deception of the chill now; it was bringing more problems than it was solving! ‘I’ll be perfectly all right here on my own, in fact I would prefer it.’ How she would prefer it! The idea was to get him out of her life, to keep him out, not to have him actually move in here with her!

  The look David gave her told her he was perfectly well aware of her preference for being alone.

  ‘I couldn’t possibly leave you here alone when you aren’t well,’ he dismissed briskly. ‘No matter what you would prefer,’ he added as she seemed about to protest again.

  She wanted to tell him she didn’t care what he couldn’t possibly do, but she knew from experience that David was perfectly capable of ignoring her, that he was already doing so, turning back the duvet and plumping up the pillows ready for her to get into bed.

  ‘David…’ Her voiced trailed off lamely as his brows rose silencingly. ‘But I don’t want to go to bed,’ she sighed her impatience.

  ‘The story of my life,’ he drawled mockingly.

  ‘Very funny,’ she grimaced her irritation with his humour. ‘I’ll be perfectly all right if I just spend the day sitting quietly in front of the fire. There’s no need to spoil everyone’s day,’ she told him determinedly.

  ‘My day isn’t being spoilt,’ he dismissed easily. ‘And Penny would never forgive me if I didn’t take proper care of you.’

  ‘I’ll forgive you—’

  ‘Besides,’ David added teasingly, ‘what would all your neighbours think of my concern for your welfare yesterday if today I calmly drive off and leave you when I know you’re ill?’

  ‘None of my neighbours know that I feel ill,’ she protested exasperatedly.

  ‘I know,’ he mocked chidingly. ‘Now get into this bed and stop being argumentative.’

  Maybe if she just got into bed and pretended to be asleep he would go away and leave her alone! She could definitely add stubborn to that description of nice, and the two together were an unstoppable combination.

  ‘Do you usually go to bed fully clothed?’ he drawled as she lay down on the smooth sheet.

  ‘When there’s a man in my bedroom, yes!’ She very firmly pulled up the duvet, glaring at him over the top of it.

  David grinned down at her, his arms folded across the width of his chest. ‘How often have you gone to bed in your clothes?’

  Her mouth pursed. ‘In other words, how often have I had a man in my bedroom?’

  He raised innocent brows. ‘I wouldn’t presume to ask such a question.’

  ‘That’s good, because I have no intention of answering it, either!’ Jade muttered, settling herself more comfortably beneath the warmth, not looking at him again as she pointedly closed her eyes.

  She could sense his mocking gaze on her for several more minutes before he quietly left the room. She listened intently for the sound of the door closing as he left the cottage, the start of the Range Rover’s engine. What she did hear was the tiny ting of the telephone as he picked up the receiver to make a call, followed by the soft murmur of his voice, and then silence. Absolute silence.

  Damn it, he had really meant it about not leaving. She should have known that he wouldn’t be affected by her feigning sleep—it had probably made him all the more determined to stay on!

  She moved over on her back to stare up at the ceiling in silent frustration.

  She had wanted to be alone today, to wait for—whatever. There would eventually be news of that third prisoner, there had to be, and whether it was Peter or not, she really needed to be alone when that happened.

  If the police didn’t come here first. That was always a possibility. They had kept away so far, simply keeping a silent watch on her and the cottage, but that couldn’t continue if the prisoner really was Peter, as she believed it was.

  The trembling she had known this morning, when she’d first heard the news, returned. She had thought this fear, at least, had gone from her life. Maybe it would never really be over for her, she would certainly never be able to forget that dark shadow that dogged her life. This incident, no matter what the outcome, had shown her that.

  ‘You’re supposed to be sleeping,’ David chided as he put his head around the side of the door and saw her lying there on the bed wide-eyed, entering the room fully to look down at her reprovingly. ‘You—my God, you’re shivering,’ he realised with concern, moving to sit on the side of the bed, taking hold of her hands in his.

  Her hands did feel chilled, but she certainly wasn’t shivering with c
old; David had seen her trembling, and to correct him in his assumption would be to arouse his curiosity about that trembling, and the reason behind it.

  At the moment he was preoccupied with her condition. ‘Maybe I should call the doctor—’

  ‘Don’t be silly,’ Jade dismissed impatiently, her pulse-rate giving a lurch at the suggestion; a doctor would soon spot her symptoms for what they were; fear, not the ‘flu. ‘If you called a doctor out every time you had a chill, the poor man would never be in his surgery. And there isn’t a lot he can do for the condition.’

  ‘Maybe not,’ David conceded with a frown. ‘Maybe a hot drink would help,’ he murmured, half to himself. ‘It certainly couldn’t do any harm,’ he said scowlingly, obviously worried about her as he went over to the doorway. ‘Don’t move,’ he warned sternly.

  She had no intention of going anywhere, was too comfortable, the warmth beneath the duvet finally reaching her, and she wriggled more fully beneath the covering with a weary sigh of satisfaction.

  Maybe she didn’t really have a chill, but the shock of that news item on the radio had certainly shaken her up. Added to the tiredness she felt after her restless night, it wasn’t surprising she felt so exhausted.

  So exhausted she didn’t hear David return with the hot drink because she had fallen into a deep sleep…

  * * *

  The eyes. All staring. Accusing. Everywhere she looked those eyes stared back at her. Disgust. Accusation. All of them hostile.

  Except one pair. Navy blue eyes caressed her warmly, loved her, wanted her, embraced her. She ran towards those eyes, towards the warmth they offered, towards the arms that now reached out to her.

  But as she reached those arms they began to disappear, to dissolve, and the warmth to fade with them, leaving only the cold loneliness.

  ‘Don’t go,’ she sobbed pleadingly. ‘Oh, please, don’t go.’ Her arms reached out in desperate need. ‘David!’ she cried his name, knowing he was the source of that warmth.

  ‘Jade…’ Those warm arms enfolded her now, gathering her close. ‘Jade, I’m here.’

  She clung to him, sighing her shaky relief when he didn’t disappear beneath her touch, resting against him as she slowly relaxed, knowing she was safe now, that David wouldn’t hurt her, ever.

  * * *

  She had had the strangest dream—frightening, oppressive. She had wanted to escape, to get out of the fear, but she hadn’t been able to break free, had had to live through the nightmare.

  And then the warmth had come, an engulfing warmth that still comforted her and held her. She settled more comfortably against that warmth, her nose twitching as the softness of wool tickled her.

  Jade pushed the irritant away, feeling the hardness beneath her hand as she did so, puzzled by it but reluctant to relinquish the last hold she had on sleep and the lingering feelings of warmth she had so briefly known. Feelings so long denied her she was afraid to give them up now in case she never had them again, her eyes closed against the intruding outside world.

  But the puzzle of that hardness beneath wool still troubled her, and even at the risk of losing the protective warmth she knew she had to open her eyes and solve that puzzle.

  The warmth didn’t fade as she raised her lids, but she was instantly lost in the navy blue depths above her, at last knowing what the woollen hardness was—a man’s muscular chest!

  ‘David…’ she breathed wonderingly.

  He nodded. ‘I came to check on you because I could hear you moving about restlessly, and you asked me not to go,’ he explained his presence apologetically, his face in shadow where he had pulled the curtains earlier against the daylight.

  Jade remembered the dream, David’s eyes welcoming her, wanting her, felt again the warmth his arms had offered, her fear that they would leave her. And they hadn’t left her, David hadn’t left her, was still holding her protectively against him, where the rest of the world couldn’t touch her.

  She smiled up at him tremulously. ‘I’m glad I did.’ Her eyes glowed with inner emotion.

  Uncertainty flickered across the strength of his face. ‘You aren’t awake properly yet—’

  ‘Because I’m not pushing you away?’ she said self-derisively. ‘Oh, I’m awake, David, completely awake. And I know exactly what I’m doing,’ she added huskily as she slowly put her arms up about his neck and pulled him down to her.

  He frowned down at her still. ‘I’m not sure that you do—’

  ‘David,’ she rebuked firmly. ‘Unless you don’t want to kiss me?’ she challenged, auburn brows arched questioningly over dark green eyes.

  ‘Don’t provoke me, Jade,’ he sighed his impatience with her levity at a time when they should be so deadly serious.

  Her expression softened, knowing he was hesitating for her sake, the hardness of his own body, the dark passion in his eyes, telling of his own need. And he had no need to hold back because of her; she knew that this was right between them. ‘I just want you to make love to me,’ she told him with simple honesty, her jade-green gaze unwavering.

  His breath was sharply indrawn, and he shook his head. ‘Don’t think that just because we find ourselves in this—position,’ he indicated the closeness of their bodies in the bed, ‘it has to—lead—to anything.’

  She smoothed the ruggedness of his cheek with gentle fingertips. ‘If I didn’t realise that your concern is for me, I could be quite hurt by your seeming reluctance to make love to me,’ she teased.

  ‘You know damn well that I—’

  ‘I do know,’ she soothed his explosive outburst. ‘And I’m equally sure that this is what I want for myself,’ she told him steadily.

  He swallowed audibly. ‘You are?’

  ‘Yes.’ She smiled with quiet confidence in her decision. ‘And David,’ she added softly, their lips only a fraction of an inch apart now, ‘I’ve never gone to bed in my clothes before.’

  His eyes glowed fiercely possessive at the admission she had made, his mouth moving to claim her sweetly before passion exploded between them and the sweetness turned to fiery need.

  David was the lover she had been waiting for all her life, a man of strength and gentleness, rather than power and weakness, and she knew only pride in his gaze as he slowly removed the clothes that now seemed so unimportant to either of them, knowing what he would see, her high-breasted, narrow-waisted body a gift she had saved especially for him, although it had taken her until now to admit that even to herself.

  But now she knew, her breasts fitting perfectly into his hands as his lips and tongue loved first one fiery tip and then the other before claiming them with heated moisture.

  He was like a child against her, and yet the heat that engulfed her body could only come from this man, an aching need joining that heat to totally enslave and claim her.

  She moved up on her knees on the bed beside him in a need to know the warmth of that hard body she had only touched through wool and denim, glorying in the male perfection of him as he helped her to remove his clothing, knowing the strength of their need for each other as his body trembled uncontrollably at her touch, the satin hardness pulsating with that need.

  ‘You’re so beautiful.’ He caressed her with hands that trembled slightly.

  ‘So are you,’ she told him tremulously, no embarrassment or awkwardness between them, only beauty and emotion.

  ‘I don’t want to hurt you,’ David breathed shakily as his mouth moved caressingly against her throat.

  ‘You could never hurt me.’ In that moment she had never been so sure of anything.

  ‘I may not be able to prevent it,’ he told her with husky regret.

  ‘If there is pain, it will only be the kind that will bring pleasure,’ she assured him softly. ‘The pleasure of joining my body to yours.’

  He drew in his breath raggedly. ‘It’s difficult to remain sane when you say things like that.’

  ‘I don’t want us to remain sane.’ Jade gazed at him longingly.

 
‘And lord knows I don’t,’ he muttered self-derisively.

  ‘Then let’s go quietly insane together.’ She knelt proudly before him, her body beckoning.

  They melded together perfectly as David came up beside her on the bed to heatedly claim her lips once more, the disparity in their heights when they were standing not apparent in that moment, breasts against a hard chest, their thighs cupped together perfectly, both of them aware only of the need they had to be just one flesh moving together in perfect harmony.

  The pain, if it could be called that, lasted only briefly, unimportant, as that throbbing passion made their movements as beautiful as any ballet, a slow and tender building of pleasure until it was too late for tenderness and only throbbing need and burning desire remained, their movements frenzied now, desperate, climaxed by tiny cries of mutual pleasure found and received, their movements relaxing slowly before they fell damply together against the bedclothes.

  Beautiful surrender, not just for her, but for David too. He had surrendered his heart as well as his body, and it was a moment Jade would cherish for the rest of her life. Because she had surrendered her heart, too.

  How could any woman this man chose to love help but feel the same way?

  And how long before she saw that light of love ripped from his eyes to be replaced by—what? Contempt? Disgust? Hate?

  Dear God, she didn’t think she could bear to see any of those emotions in eyes that had been misty with love!

  * * *

  As she saw Peter’s photograph flash on the television screen as the third prisoner, the one the police were still searching for, later that evening, she knew she might not have any choice, that she was going to have to suffer through the nightmare again, and that this time there would be no David’s arms to protect her warmly from those accusingly hostile eyes; once he knew the truth about her, his would probably be among them!

  CHAPTER SEVEN