Elusive as the Unicorn Page 9

  ‘Exactly the same things I have for the last half an hour.’ She gave a sad smile at the acknowledgement. ‘And I couldn’t, in all conscience, marry you with that between us.’

  He scowled darkly. ‘Surely I’m the one it affects the most, and if I’m sure it’s just a temporary aberration …’

  ‘But we don’t know that, Paul, and so I can’t do that to you.’ She shook her head in firm denial. ‘I think you’ve taken this all wonderfully.’ She touched his arm gently. ‘I just don’t know what happened …’ Her eyes were shadowed with pain.

  ‘I do.’ He was breathing heavily in his agitation. ‘I’ve been too much the gentleman, that’s the trouble. Maybe if I had made love to you instead of holding back until after we were married, none of this would have happened. I just wanted to treat you with respect and—and love. But what do I have to lose now …’

  Eve didn’t even attempt to fight him as he took her fiercely into his arms and began to kiss her with hard lips; she owed him this much at least.

  Usually she found enjoyment in Paul’s arms, felt cherished by his kisses, but this morning he was angry, so angry. And her lack of response just seemed to make him angrier, so much so that Eve suddenly became shakingly aware of how alone they were in his apartment. And anger was apt to make people do the strangest things, things normally out of character. Not this way, it couldn’t be this way!

  She wrenched her mouth free of his. ‘Paul, stop this!’ she gasped, genuinely frightened, for both of them. ‘You’re only making the situation worse …’

  His mouth twisted, as swollen as Eve’s felt beneath the tentative touch of her tongue. ‘How could it possibly be worse than it already is?’ he said bitterly, not relinquishing his hold on her in the slightest. ‘Your becoming involved with Adam Gardener has destroyed all our plans.’ He scowled.

  ‘But surely you can see——’

  ‘All I can see clearly is that you no longer intend to marry me.’ He put her abruptly away from him, as if suddenly aware of the way he had been holding her against her will, thrusting his hands into his trouser pockets and stepping back.

  Eve looked at him pleadingly once again. ‘It’s only until I’ve sorted out my emotions.’

  His mouth twisted. ‘I wonder how many other poor fools have heard the same thing and gone on hoping?’

  She frowned. ‘But it really is only until I feel more sure of myself.’

  He glared, his mouth thinning. ‘And how long do you expect that to take?’

  His scepticism was so obvious, and it didn’t help that Eve knew she had no real answer for him.

  ‘I don’t know …’ She gave a self-conscious grimace, feeling very uncomfortable, wringing her hands together nervously.

  ‘I do,’ Paul bit out tautly. ‘You’ll never marry me now.’

  ‘That’s not true,’ she cried, desperate at the thought of losing him. ‘Things just have to be delayed for a while,’ she insisted.

  ‘Indefinitely was the way you put it a few minutes ago, I believe,’ he reminded bitterly.

  What else could she say? She didn’t want to cancel her wedding to Paul, it had been her dream for as long as she could remember, but no woman should marry one man while desiring another.

  There was something else she had come to terms with during her wakeful hours of the night; she did desire Adam, would gladly have given herself to him the night before. And that was the reason she couldn’t go through with marrying Paul, not until she was sure the attraction she felt towards Adam wasn’t a temptation she would give in to, married to Paul or not.

  ‘Until I’m doing the right thing for both of us,’ she nodded.

  Paul turned away disgustedly. ‘And to think I believed you had come here today to apologise for your outburst to me last night,’ he muttered with self-derision.

  ‘But don’t you realise,’ she looked at him imploringly, ‘that my outburst of last night is all part of what’s been happening to me over the last week?’

  Paul frowned heavily. ‘I don’t think I care for the changes,’ he rasped dully.

  She was changing, Eve acknowledged sadly on the drive back to Ashton House, and, like Paul, she wasn’t sure those changes were for the better. But, until she could be sure she had stopped changing, it wouldn’t be fair to even try and commit herself to marrying Paul. He might not even like her at the end of all this!

  She wasn’t altogether sure she liked herself at the moment, after what she had just had to do!

  * * *

  Not in the mood to face anyone, she quickly made her way up to her studio once she got back to the house. Time enough later to explain—at least, partially—that her wedding to Paul was off for the moment. And, taking into account the fact that Paul hadn’t seemed eager to see her again, she didn’t know if the wedding would ever be on again!

  The studio was full of paintings she already had finished for the winter exhibition, images that were so much a part of her, resting against all of the walls.

  Ironically there was nothing now standing in the way of telling Sophy to go ahead with the exhibition as she had planned; she doubted Paul cared any more what she did.

  She walked despondently about the studio, gently touching a canvas here, gazing unseeingly at another canvas there.

  In the past she had always found pleasure in her work; today she couldn’t find pleasure in anything, and her life seemed in a shambles.

  She had little enthusiasm for the canvases she had yet to finish, either, making her wonder if there could be a winter exhibition, after all.

  ‘Your grandmother said you were back; I had a feeling you might be up here.’

  Eve spun around like a startled doe at the sound of Adam’s voice behind her, eyeing him warily as he stood in the doorway at the top of the stairs.

  ‘May I?’ He indicated his desire to enter the studio as she made no effort to answer him.

  She swallowed hard, finding difficulty in breathing, this the first time she had seen him since she had lain so wantonly in his arms the night before.

  ‘It looks as if you already have.’ Her reply was sharper than she would have wished, but then, Adam shouldn’t have invaded her privacy—especially when she was feeling so rawly vulnerable!

  He held up his hands placatingly. ‘If you would rather I went away again …’

  She would rather the whole world went away until she felt more able to face it; most of all she would rather not be anywhere near the man who had been instrumental in starting the tumbling down of the life she had planned for herself.

  ‘No, come in,’ she heard herself say dully. ‘After all, it won’t be the first time you’ve been up here, will it?’ she dismissed harshly.

  Adam stepped frowningly into the studio, his hands thrust into the pockets of the black trousers he wore, the cuffs turned back to just below the elbows on his pale blue shirt.

  Eve could feel an involuntary tightening of her defences, as if her body was more than usually aware of the danger this man was to her. He had no right to affect her this way!

  ‘I didn’t mean to intrude last night,’ he told her softly, his dark gaze compelling. ‘It was just that I was worried when you didn’t come back to your room, and decided to come looking for you.’

  ‘And in your search you stumbled across The Unicorn,’ she said derisively.

  ‘I found you,’ he corrected evenly, his dark gaze still holding hers captive.

  Her head went back challengingly. ‘The Unicorn,’ she repeated firmly.

  ‘I wanted you in my life long before I knew anything about that.’ He stood in front of her now, so close that the warmth of his breath stirred the soft wisps of her fringe.

  ‘Did you?’ Her throat ached with the effort of holding back unshed tears.

  Adam looked down at her searchingly. ‘Eve, where have you been all morning?’

  Her throat moved convulsively, but still she held her emotions in check. ‘I went to tell the man I’ve loved all my life that I
can’t marry him, because of my response to a man I’ve just met,’ she told him in a clear voice, only a slight underlying tremor to give away her true feelings.

  Adam breathed in harshly before breathing out again in a low sigh. ‘That must have been very difficult for you to do.’

  If he had been gloatingly pleased, looked in the least triumphant, showed even the slightest pleasure in the act that had caused her so much pain, Eve might have managed to remain in control. As it was, his understanding of the trauma she had been through knocked down the walls of her defences and opened up the floodgates.

  She literally fell into his arms, her body shaking with sobs, seeking comfort and reassurance, receiving it unquestioningly; Adam murmured soothingly into her hair, one hand moving comfortingly up and down her spine as he held her lightly to him.

  The loud hiccup she gave in the midst of the tears broke the tension, and she gave a watery smile in return as Adam smiled down at her affectionately at her self-conscious grimace.

  ‘Not exactly elegant,’ she sighed, wiping away the tears with her fingertips, knowing her cheeks would be flushed, her nose bright red.

  ‘It’s only movie stars who manage to cry and still look beautiful,’ he said drily. ‘And that’s only because for the most part, they’re paid small fortunes to look that way!’

  No surer way than that of telling her cheeks were flushed, and her nose was bright red! Oh, well, she had asked for it.

  ‘I’m sorry about that,’ she grimaced, her movements awkward in her embarrassment.

  ‘I would say it was long overdue.’ Adam gently smoothed back the softness of her hair from her face. ‘Paul didn’t take the news well?’ he prompted softly.

  She gave a harsh laugh at the understatement. ‘What do you think?’

  ‘I think he probably said a lot of things he now regrets,’ Adam said with a sigh.

  Eve drew in a ragged breath. ‘I doubt that very much. All that he said was the truth.’

  Adam looked as if he doubted that. ‘But for all the shouting, I take it he still wanted to marry you?’

  ‘And why would you “take” that?’ she shot back defensively, looking for criticism.

  He shrugged. ‘Did he?’

  ‘I don’t think——’

  ‘Surely I have a right to know? After all, I am the other man.’

  ‘You aren’t the “other man”,’ she flared indignantly. ‘There isn’t another man, just me having pre-wedding nerves that I thought it best to resolve before we go through the big step of getting married.’

  Adam looked at her chidingly. ‘That wasn’t the impression you gave a few minutes ago.’

  Her cheeks were flushed. ‘I might have known you would throw that back at me.’

  ‘I have a feeling you’re spoiling for a fight,’ he drawled drily. ‘But I’m not going to oblige you.’ He shook his head.

  ‘You aren’t?’ she said with unconcealed sarcasm.

  ‘No. Not for the reasons you want, anyway,’ he added chidingly. ‘I still can’t get over the fact that I had The Unicorn in front of me all the time and just didn’t know it. And no, that has nothing to do with the way I feel about you,’ he derided as her mouth thinned. ‘I’m amazed you’re The Unicorn, overjoyed. But I’m also mad as hell at you.’ He sobered, frowning darkly.

  ‘At me?’ she gasped.

  ‘Of course at you,’ he confirmed impatiently.

  ‘But why?’ she frowned.

  ‘Because you’ve successfully hidden yourself away from the world all these years.’ He shook his head in puzzlement.

  Her head went back. ‘I haven’t hidden away from anyone.’

  ‘Then what have you been doing?’

  ‘I’ve been busy working,’ she defended.

  ‘But no one knows your identity except a few close friends and family,’ he pointed out softly.

  ‘That doesn’t make any difference to my work,’ she instantly retorted.

  He strolled across the room to stand in front of one of the finished but so far ‘unshown’ canvases, gazing at it with obvious enjoyment. ‘No, it doesn’t make any difference to the brilliance of your work,’ Adam acknowledged huskily.

  The painting was of miles and miles of seemingly endless golden corn waving gently in the breeze, so lifelike that there was vibrancy in every brushstroke. And in the centre of that golden beauty was a little girl carrying a bunch of buttercups in her tiny hands.

  Adam’s hand moved out to the canvas, almost touching it but not quite. ‘She looks very much like you must have done as a child.’ He smiled gently. ‘Like the little girl we might have one day.’

  She stiffened. ‘We aren’t having a little girl.’

  ‘No, I suppose they could both be boys,’ he acknowledged with a nod. ‘That was why I said she looked like the little girl we might have.’

  Eve strode forcefully across the room to his side, looking up at him angrily. ‘The fact that I have—temporarily—called off my wedding to Paul does not mean that I intend becoming involved with you.’

  ‘You may not intend it,’ he grasped her arms, his gaze warm, ‘but it is going to happen. Remember, I said the only thing holding me back was your commitment to Paul. Now that no longer exists——’

  ‘Temporarily,’ she reminded forcefully.

  ‘Whatever.’ He smiled dismissively, framing her face with his big hands before lowering his head to take her mouth in a slow, lingering kiss.

  By the time he raised his head to look down at her, Eve had no will of her own, speech was her only defence. ‘But I don’t love you,’ she told him desperately, achingly. ‘I love Paul.’

  ‘You’re attracted enough to me to realise you can’t marry him because of it.’ Adam’s eyes had darkened with grim determination. ‘And now the barrier of your impending wedding has gone, I intend to show you how good it’s going to be between us. No holds barred!’

  She swallowed hard at the purposeful expression on his face. ‘But——’

  ‘No holds barred, Eve,’ he warned softly, before leaving as quietly as he had arrived.

  No holds barred, he had said. Eve couldn’t help the feelings of panic those words evoked. What had his behaviour been before, if not ‘no holds barred’?

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  ‘SO WHEN I left college I——’ Adam tilted his head back to quirk one eyebrow at her. ‘Am I boring you?’

  This would teach her to claim she knew nothing about him!

  She had been trying to get back into her work all afternoon, having decided while she picked at the food on her plate during lunch that the best way to block out the shambles of her life for a few hours was to try and work: when she painted, she didn’t think of anything other than what she was working on.

  Unfortunately, Adam had decided that the two of them should spend the afternoon together. And, much as she tried, Eve couldn’t get him to leave the studio. Short of carrying him out of course, which, considering their difference in sizes, was an impossibility!

  And so she was stuck with him, lying all over her couch as he told her his life story from the moment he had his untimely entrance into the world in the middle of a department store while his mother was out shopping, through his very happy childhood as the only child of very doting parents, to his school years, and then on to his time spent at college. And it had all been told with such an air of self-mockery that Eve couldn’t help being amused—and intrigued.

  She had also spent the last half-hour not working on her most recent canvas, but on a charcoal sketch of the man himself. He was an artist’s dream; his bone structure and skin tone just cried out to be put on canvas. In fact—he was gorgeous!

  ‘No, you aren’t boring me,’ she assured him, her voice husky.

  ‘Good.’ He grinned, settling himself down comfortably on the sofa again. ‘I’m just getting to the good bit.’

  She had already guessed that, realising that his life had really only just begun when he had acquired the qualifications he h
ad wanted and left college to branch out into business for himself.

  He made light of those early achievements, and yet Eve could guess at the real truth behind them, and the sprinkling of silver among the dark blond hair told its own story.

  ‘Women,’ he announced starkly.

  Eve looked at him sharply, startled briefly. ‘What about them?’

  He shrugged. ‘There haven’t been any for some time,’ he instantly dismissed. ‘I had the usual wild youth, but maturity brings with it a certain morality. I have lots of friends in the States, of both sexes, and there was once someone I cared for, but somehow it just never worked out. Now I know the reason why.’

  ‘Oh?’ she said lightly, although she had a feeling she knew what was coming next.

  ‘Hm—you were still playing with your dolls when I started wondering about a wife!’

  Not exactly the answer she had expected—but it was close enough!

  ‘You don’t really believe that for every person there is only one other person in the world who can be completely compatible to them?’ She carried on sketching as she waited for his answer.

  Adam gave her question more consideration than she thought it merited; she had meant the remark mockingly. But the longer he took to make a reply, the more her curiosity burned to hear his answer!

  ‘One perfect person, yes.’ He finally nodded. ‘But dozens of other people that you could find happiness with, lasting happiness.’

  ‘And the chances of finding that “one perfect person"?’ She had given up all pretence of working now, this conversation intriguing her.

  ‘Remote,’ he conceded drily. ‘Although with travel made easier it’s not as remote as it once must have been. And we were destined not to miss each other,’ he added smugly.

  She had been wondering when he would turn the conversation on to a personal level. But her own curiosity had got the better of her for the moment. ‘Oh—why?’ she prompted lightly.

  He quirked his brows. ‘Isn’t that obvious—Eve?’

  She sighed. ‘Our names don’t——’

  ‘Not just the names, Eve.’ He shook his head slowly as he stood up. ‘There are too many other coincidences,’ he continued as he walked towards her. ‘There’s the fact that I fell in love with The Unicorn’s work long before I met you, the fact that I decided to come over here in search of the artist at this particular time. A few months later and I would have been too late,’ he rasped tautly, his hands moving up to gently cup either side of her face. ‘I can’t tell you how glad I am that didn’t happen,’ he murmured softly as his head lowered to hers. ‘So very glad, Eve.’