Only Lover Read online

  ‘I know that. But it could be interesting nonetheless.’

  ‘Interesting?’ she queried. ‘I thought a kiss could be many things, but never interesting.’

  Joel relaxed back in his chair to study her below lowered lids. ‘I didn’t mean the kiss would be interesting. You’re right, a kiss can be many things—affectionate, passionate, repulsive, many things. No, I thought our response to each other could prove most interesting. Would you like to kiss me, Farrah Halliday?’

  Two wings of colour entered her cheeks. ‘I already have,’ she pointed out.

  ‘Oh, no,’ his face was in shadow. ‘I kissed you, you didn’t kiss me.’

  ‘Then I suppose the answer is no.’

  ‘You only suppose? Farrah Halliday, you surprise me. I could just take that as an invitation,’ he taunted.

  ‘Well, it wasn’t meant as one! I don’t even like you.’

  ‘So I gathered,’ he replied dryly. ‘No one says you have to like me. God, what an insipid emotion! I’d rather have desire or just plain hate. But I do not want you to like me.’

  ‘I certainly don’t desire you!’ He might have a smooth muscular body and be the most fascinating man she had ever seen, but that didn’t mean she had to fall at his feet. And yet a niggling doubt kept entering her mind. Joel was fascinating, and she found him very attractive. But she didn’t like him!

  ‘If you say so,’ he said in a bored voice.

  ‘Don’t you believe me?’

  ‘Why should I not? You’ve never given me any evidence to the contrary.’

  ‘And I’m not going to!’

  He sat forward with a smile. ‘That’s a very definite no, Farrah. I hope I can prove you wrong.’

  ‘You hope— You hope—?’ she gulped. ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Just that I found kissing you quite pleasant.’

  Farrah gasped. ‘How can you say such things to me!’

  ‘Why not? If we have to spend the next few months in each other’s company we might as well take advantage of the situation.’

  ‘You mean you might. I can’t see any advantage in that sort of situation for me. None at all,’ she said firmly.

  ‘I didn’t make the suggestion with any advantage to you in mind, you’ve already had your reward. I could be quite nice to you if you would let me.’

  ‘I can imagine.’ She repressed a shiver, of dread or pleasure she wasn’t sure.

  ‘I’ll bet you can. I don’t mean anything physical,’ his mouth twisted. ‘Young girls and virgins don’t need to fear seduction from me. But a mild flirtation wouldn’t be a bad idea.’

  ‘A flirtation? With me?’

  ‘Sure, with you. Like I said, it could prove interesting.’

  Anger stirred deep within her, deep and volcanic. ‘Do you think that just because you’ll be denied the company of other women for the next couple of months you can use me to relieve your frustrations! Because let me tell you that I won’t be used in that way. I think that was the most hateful suggestion, Joel,’ she finished brokenly, all the anger leaving her as quickly as it had come.

  ‘You could be right,’ he agreed quietly. ‘And I’ve never yet used a woman just to relieve my frustrations. I may not believe in what you call love, but I’ve never taken a woman just for the sake of it. I’m sure I can manage without a woman for a couple of months,’ he added with amusement.

  ‘Then why make such a suggestion?’

  ‘It may relieve some of my boredom.’

  ‘Well, thanks very much! I didn’t realise you found me that boring.’

  ‘I haven’t—so far. Your flashing green eyes are entertainment enough. I enjoy getting you angry just to see them.’

  ‘You did it on purpose, didn’t you!’ Farrah said angrily. ‘How provoking you are!’

  ‘I know,’ he looked at her half-finished meal. ‘Have you finished?’

  ‘Yes, thank you. Your teasing robs me of my appetite. It’s funny really, the first time I met you I thought you rather frightening, very severe and grim. You still are, I suppose, but you also have a sense of humour, warped, but nevertheless a sense of humour.’

  Joel gave a throaty chuckle. ‘And I thought you beautiful but very young, and maybe a little shy. I didn’t realise you were also very outspoken.’

  Farrah looked uncomfortable. ‘I’m not usually, but you seem to bring out the worst in me.’

  Joel stood up. ‘I have noticed,’ he returned dryly. ‘Wait for me here while I settle the bill.’

  Farrah watched him as he chatted idly with the waitress. God, he was so assured and handsome! And she felt proud to be seen with him. But she shouldn’t! Her thoughts concerning Joel Falcone were all confused, and her feelings even more so. The thing was, she forgot it was pretence when she was with him, and could feel herself melting under his charm.

  She was very quiet on the way back to the Falcone building, unable even to look at Joel Falcone. She had thought only that morning that she hated him; she now knew that wasn’t true. And yet she had told Fiona that Joel was a man you either loved or hated. And if she didn’t hate him, she didn’t love him either.

  Joel parked the car, leading her into the building with a firm grip on her arm. ‘I’ll pick you up about seven,’ was his parting comment as they parted at the sixth floor.

  Farrah stepped out of the lift feeling faintly disappointed. His behaviour certainly hadn’t been loverlike if anyone should have seen them part. But she shouldn’t have been feeling disappointed! She didn’t like his touch, of course she didn’t! But she had felt disappointed, that was an inescapable fact.

  It was impossible to wipe this out of her mind, and she was still smarting under the knowledge when she got home that evening. The smile she summoned up wasn’t one of her better efforts and her father looked at her searchingly. ‘Had a bad day?’ he asked gently.

  Farrah couldn’t help but see his air of excitement, and she didn’t need two guesses why. ‘Not too bad. What’s happened to you?’

  Her father was bubbling over with the news of his reinstatement and Farrah felt that her efforts on his behalf had all been worth it. It was a long time since she had seen her father this happy, since before her mother became ill in fact, and nothing was going to be allowed to mar that happiness if she could help it. Joel Falcone’s demands were cheap at the price. Being nice to him wouldn’t be so difficult in the future.

  ‘That’s lovely, Daddy, we can go in together on Monday like we used to. I—er—I’m going to Beth’s for the weekend, Daddy. I hope that’s all right.’ Beth was an old school friend and the two of them often visited each other. She had seemed the ideal solution when Joel had suggested they go away together this weekend, and Farrah hoped she would forgive her for involving her in this deceit.

  ‘That’s fine, Farrah. It will do you good. I’ve been quite worried about you since your mother died. You don’t have to stay home with me so much. I want you to go out and enjoy yourself like you did yesterday.’

  ‘Yes, Daddy, about yesterday, I—’

  ‘You had something to tell me, I believe. I’m sorry I was so tired when you got home, this business seems to have taken it out of me. I even overslept this morning.’

  ‘I know. I didn’t have the heart to wake you.’ She couldn’t meet the happy glow in his eyes. ‘Daddy, last night I went out with Joel Falcone.’

  ‘Joel Fal—? Farrah!’ his face was ashen. ‘I know you said the dress wasn’t for Nigel, but I never dreamt—! Good God, Farrah! Joel Falcone!’

  ‘I know how you feel, Daddy, but I—’

  ‘No, you don’t, Farrah!’ he interrupted fiercely. ‘My daughter has just calmly announced that she’s going out with my boss, a man years your senior. You can have no conception how I feel, none at all.’

  ‘But I—’

  ‘Are you seeing him again?”

  She bowed her head. ‘I already have. We had lunch together today.’

  Her father shook his head sadly, the colour start
ing to flow back into his pale cheeks. ‘This is all my fault. You would never have met the man if it weren’t for me—’ he broke off, his eyes flying to her downbent head. ‘That telephone call from security,’ he said dazedly. ‘Joel Falcone was behind it, wasn’t he? You’ve sold yourself for me,’ he finished brokenly.

  Farrah stood up. ‘I haven’t, Daddy, I haven’t done that! I met—Joel a week ago, but I didn’t tell you. When I went to see him on Wednesday it wasn’t our first meeting.’ God, she hated lying!

  ‘Had you been out with him before yesterday?’ He sat down heavily and Farrah could quite understand what a shock this had been to him. But it was better than going to prison for embezzling, wasn’t it?

  ‘No,’ she said quietly. ‘But I knew we were attracted to each other. I know his reputation, Daddy, but I—I love him.’

  ‘Oh, Farrah! It can only bring you unhappiness.’ He looked at her sharply. ‘Does he love you?’

  ‘He—he says he does.’

  ‘But you said you’ve only known each other a week, that isn’t long enough for either of you to know how you feel. And it doesn’t alter the fact that my return to work is because of your attractiveness to Joel Falcone. No price is too high to pay for something he wants, not even twenty-five thousand pounds,’ he said bitterly.

  ‘You’re wrong, Daddy. I’m not going to lie to you, of course Joel had the final decision, but Security advised him to give you another chance. And he isn’t buying me. We’re going to pay him back as much of that money as we can. I’m determined about that.’

  ‘Well, so am I, but it could take years to do.’

  She smiled wanly. ‘That’s what Joel said. But I don’t care.’

  ‘Will you be seeing him again, love? I wouldn’t dream of interfering in your life, but I can’t say I approve of you seeing him. He’s too sophisticated, too—too everything!’

  ‘I—I should think I will see him again. I have to, Daddy, please try to understand.’

  ‘I am trying, love, really I am. Still, this weekend at Beth’s will give you time to think, to try and sort yourself out.’

  ‘Yes.’ She looked at her wrist-watch. ‘I’d better go and pack a few things. I’m leaving at seven.’

  ‘Do you want me to come to the station with you?’

  Farrah smiled tensely. ‘No, I know Friday is your favourite television night.’

  Her father grinned sheepishly. ‘I wouldn’t mind, love, you know that.’

  ‘I’ll be fine, Daddy.’ To have her father come down with her was the last thing she needed.

  ‘Shall I get you a snack? You won’t have time for much, it’s already after six.’

  ‘I’m not hungry. I really couldn’t eat a thing.’ And she couldn’t. This whole thing was sickening to her, and her changing feelings towards Joel Falcone were the worst.

  * * *

  The house was exactly as she had imagined it would be. They had driven down a long gravel driveway to what appeared to be a much larger version of the typical country cottage, with vines and roses growing all over the front of the house. The inside was a vision not to be equalled, with pinewood panels along the spacious walls and thick pile carpets on the floors. Warm golden lights were switched on all over the house, so they were obviously expected.

  A tall man in his mid-fifties emerged into the hallway as they entered the house. ‘Good evening, sir,’ he said very correctly. ‘Madam.’

  ‘Miss,’ drawled Joel. ‘This is Miss Halliday, George. You prepared a room for her?’

  George nodded his prematurely snow-white head. ‘As instructed, sir.’

  ‘Good.’ Joel threw the car keys into the man’s hands. ‘I left the car in the driveway.’

  ‘Yes, sir. Shall I serve dinner now?’

  Joel glanced fleetingly at Farrah. ‘Give us ten minutes, George, then wheel it in.’

  He led her into a gracious lounge, the only lighting in here from four small lamps placed strategically about the room. A brown leather sofa was placed before a roaring fire and although it was spring it was quite cold, and the fire gave the room a warm intimate glow. A golden carpet fitted from wall to wall with a thick goatskin rug placed before the fire, and restful paintings of the countryside adorned the walls.

  ‘Sit down, honey,’ Joel invited smoothly. ‘Like something to drink?’

  Farrah deliberately sat down in the leather armchair that matched the sofa. ‘Just a small sherry, please.’

  He raised a mocking eyebrow but poured her the sherry anyway. Tonight he seemed more relaxed than she had ever seen him and was dressed completely informally in white trousers and a snowy white shirt, the cuffs turned back and the buttons open almost down to his waist, with a gold medallion nestling among the dark hairs on his tanned brown chest.

  ‘So,’ he handed her the sherry before himself sitting down on the sofa she had shunned, reclining back, legs splayed out as he watched her over the rim of his glass. ‘Here we are.’

  ‘Yes,’ she answered stiffly. What else could she say?

  She had changed into denims and a checked shirt worn below a denim waistcoat as she didn’t know how far they would be travelling, and this seemed to be the most comfortable attire. As it turned out they had only been travelling about an hour and a quarter to this house set in the Hampshire countryside, and she wished she had on something more fitting to sit down to dinner with this sophisticated man.

  ‘What do you think of George?’ His blue eyes twinkled with amusement.

  Farrah was taken aback by the question. ‘Well, he’s—he seems—’

  ‘Exactly what a correct English butler should be,’ Joel mocked. ‘Oh, he is. He’s been with me fifteen years now. And he manages never to be shocked about anything.’

  ‘Meaning me.’

  ‘Meaning you,’ he agreed. ‘I’ve never brought anyone like you here before and yet, George remained completely unruffled. Amazing.’

  ‘Isn’t it,’ she said tartly.

  ‘Now don’t start getting annoyed—and don’t deny that you were, because your eyes are flashing. George is only used to my turning up here. He’s probably been wondering for whom he was preparing the room adjoining mine.’

  ‘The room next to yours …?’ Farrah echoed dully.

  ‘Sure, where else? This has to look convincing.’

  A faint knock sounded on the door before George quietly opened it. ‘Dinner is served, sir.’

  ‘Thanks, George.’ Joel stood up, holding out a hand to Farrah. ‘Honey.’

  George served them with thick onion soup, steak served with peas and baby new potatoes, and strawberries and fresh cream followed by liqueur coffee. He was attentive and yet unobtrusive, although Farrah wasn’t used to such attention when she was eating. She found it slightly embarrassing.

  Once they had returned into the lounge Joel dismissed George. ‘We won’t be needing you again tonight, George,’ he smiled. ‘That was a delicious meal you prepared us.’

  ‘Yes, lovely,’ echoed Farrah, looking at him a little uncertainly.

  George bowed. ‘Thank you, miss. Goodnight, sir, Miss Halliday.’

  ‘Does George do all the cooking too?’ Farrah asked once they were alone.

  ‘Yes,’ Joel lit a cheroot. ‘He’s very adaptable.’

  ‘Would it be all right if I went up to my room now?’ she asked hesitantly. George had taken up her small suitcase as soon as they arrived, although she hadn’t seen her room yet.

  His brows drew together in a frown. ‘So early? Aren’t you going to entertain me?’

  Farrah watched him warily. ‘How could I entertain you, Mr Falcone?’

  ‘I can think of numerous ways. But we won’t go into them tonight.’ He stood up. ‘I’ll show you to your room.’

  The bedroom he showed her into was in beautiful rich gold and white decor, and Farrah loved it from the start. Along one wall was a bedroom unit, a wardrobe either side of a dressing table with a huge mirror and gold trimmings to the wardrobe and drawers.
The carpet was pure white and so thick that Farrah longed to sink her bare feet into it, and there was a thick gold continental quilt on the huge double bed.

  ‘It’s lovely!’ Her eyes glowed.

  ‘I’m glad you like it,’ he said sardonically.

  Farrah hesitated. ‘Does she—does Miss Bennett sleep in this room?’

  Joel shook his head. ‘No. Laura has never been invited here. This is the one place where I can be private and alone. Why? Would it bother you if she had?’

  She threw back her head defiantly. ‘Yes, it would. Does that surprise you?’

  Joel moved forward, one hand moving up to touch her cheek. ‘I guess not,’ he said huskily. ‘You’re a sensitive little thing, aren’t you?’

  Farrah suffered his touch, her senses stirring against her will as his fingers moved caressingly over her cheek to her parted lips. She held her body rigid and unyielding, although his closeness seemed to be breaking down her feeble barriers. ‘Coming from you that sounds like an insult,’ she said stiffly, words her only defence.

  His dark head bent swiftly and his lips claimed hers in a slow lingering kiss that demanded she respond. Farrah fought for control of her body, and just when she thought she would have to give in he lifted his head, his lips still only inches away from her own. ‘Did that seem like an insult too?’ His eyes searched her face. ‘Because both were meant in the same way.’

  She felt mesmerised by those deep blue eyes and dragged her gaze away with effort. ‘Would you mind leaving my bedroom now, Mr Falcone?’

  His caressing hands dropped away from her face and he walked to the connecting door she hadn’t noticed earlier. ‘It was Joel earlier today,’ he said mockingly. ‘And you didn’t answer my question.’

  ‘I’ve told you before, Mr Falcone, I will not be used. Try your seduction routine on someone else, because I’m not impressed.’ Brave words, but not strictly true. If he had persisted with that kiss there was no telling where it would have taken them. Only seconds more and she would have been kissing him back, her arms thrown around his neck in complete abandonment. That kiss was like nothing she had ever known before, and she wished he would go before she made an absolute fool of herself.