Uncertain Destiny Read online

  ‘Are you and Shepherd sleeping together?’ he suddenly asked.

  Her eyes glittered deeply blue as she glared up at him. ‘If you’re trying to be insulting—’

  His brows arched. ‘I’m not. I just wanted to know how difficult it’s going to be for you to finish with him.’

  She drew in a ragged breath. ‘As I have no intention—’

  ‘Caroline,’ he cut in patiently, as if he were reasoning with a rebellious child. ‘We want each other. We’re going to have each other. Often,’ he stated with casual indifference. ‘But I don’t intend sharing you with Shepherd. Maybe it’s old-fashioned of me, but when I’m involved with a woman I like to be the only man in her life. I will be the only man in your life.’

  She looked about them frantically, sure Paula had allowed a certifiable maniac to walk off with her. She finally caught sight of Tony, he and Paula having what appeared to be one of their not unusual arguments, engrossed in each other and not in what was going on between herself and Justin across the room. Fond of Tony as she was, she couldn’t help wishing that he hadn’t felt in an argumentative mood tonight. She needed rescuing, and from the way Justin’s arms had tightened about her she didn’t think she was going to be able to do it alone.

  ‘I realise you’re too young for me—’

  ‘Couldn’t it be that you’re too old for me?’ she gasped defensively, her cheeks aflame with heated colour as he looked down at her mockingly for her outburst. It was rather stupid to be reacting this way when the least objection to their ever seeing each other again was the fact that he was at least twelve years older than she was! There were far too many other reasons why they should never meet again.

  He gave a derisive inclination of his head. ‘I realise I’m too old for you,’ he amended in a drily derisive voice. ‘That we don’t know a great deal about each other yet—’

  ‘We don’t know anything about each other,’ she denied heatedly.

  ‘We know that we could go to my apartment right now and not come out of the bedroom for a week,’ he drawled confidently. ‘And then it would only be because we would need to eat a little to get us through the next week!’ His gaze was suddenly intense on her flushed face as she gazed up at him unprotestingly. ‘I want to make love to you in every way possible,’ he told her compellingly. ‘In ways no one else has ever made love before.’ A fire burnt deep in the depth of silver-grey, primitively savage.

  Caroline swallowed hard, too weakened by his verbal lovemaking to be able to move away from him. ‘And then what?’ Her voice was husky.

  His mouth twisted into the semblance of a smile. ‘And then we start all over again!’

  She shook her head at the eroticism he portrayed. ‘But—but we don’t know each other, don’t love each other!’

  ‘Love!’ he scorned impatiently. ‘Love is a vastly over-rated emotion that brings nothing but pain to those who suffer from it,’ he dismissed abruptly. ‘Do you have any idea how many people I’ve helped send to prison because of this so-called love?’ He shook his head. ‘Of course I don’t love you, Caroline—By the way that’s going to be shortened to Caro whenever I want to make love to you,’ he announced arrogantly.

  ‘And I suppose you’ll expect me to crawl into your bed to await your pleasure at those times?’ she returned angrily. How dared he think he could just walk up to her and take over her life!

  His mouth twisted. ‘You overestimate my control where you’re concerned, Caroline.’ He deliberately emphasised the full use of her name. ‘I expect us to make love wherever we happen to be at the time. It’s all going to be part of the excitement. And you excite me as no other woman has,’ he added intensely. ‘And I can also assure you that the pleasure won’t all be mine,’ he finished, answering her angry taunt.

  She knew that, already felt fevered with a need she didn’t want but didn’t seem able to fight. But he couldn’t seriously expect her to meekly leap into an affair with him.

  She looked up at him searchingly, at the pulse that beat in his tightly clenched jaw, at the determination in his gaze, acknowledging the aura of power he had that told her he never said anything he didn’t mean. They had only met a short time ago, Justin didn’t believe in love because he had seen too many people hurt and destroy in the name of that emotion, and yet he calmly expected her to put her life in his hands. The trouble was, with his closeness seducing her like this, it would be so easy to do!

  ‘Do you know that they call you—’

  ‘I’m well aware of what they call me,’ he bit out harshly. ‘And why,’ he added dismissively. ‘I’m good at what I do, Caroline, and I make no apology for it. If a person breaks the law they should be punished for it.’

  She swallowed hard at the cold implacability of his voice. ‘Can you always be so sure they’re guilty?’

  ‘I wouldn’t take the case if I weren’t sure of that,’ he dismissed confidently.

  Caroline shivered at his calm certainty in his beliefs; she would hate to be at the receiving end of his wrath. She drew in a shaky breath. ‘Tony said you’re a wolf that always walks alone—’

  ‘That isn’t going to change just because we’re having an affair,’ he cut in firmly. ‘I’m not accustomed to being answerable to anyone for my actions; I relish my privacy too much for that. We’ll continue to maintain separate households during our relationship, but don’t expect to spend too much time in yours,’ he added drily, frowning suddenly. ‘You know, I didn’t want to come to this party with Paula tonight, even less so once I realised it was a family occasion, but as soon as I saw you I knew why I’d come against all my better judgment. I don’t believe in love—’ his mouth twisted ‘—but even I can’t fight destiny.’

  ‘She, too, felt as if she were trying to fight something she had no power over. Justin called it destiny, but she was very much aware that this destiny could prove to be as much her destruction as her future happiness. And at the moment she wasn’t sure which Justin was in her life although, knowing of the contempt with which he held love, she had a very good idea!

  She pulled out of his arms. ‘I was also destined to meet Tony,’ she reminded him firmly. ‘And I’m going to marry him.’ She dared Justin to deny that.

  He didn’t. ‘I’ll take you back to him,’ he drawled pleasantly, his hand light on her elbow.

  Caroline trusted this calm friendliness even less than she did his blunt announcement that they were going to have an affair, eyeing him warily as they rejoined Tony and Paula, the brother and sister standing together in stony silence.

  ‘You were gone long enough,’ Tony snapped with uncharacteristic bad humour. ‘I was almost desperate enough to ask Paula to dance!’

  His sister gave him a disparaging look. ‘Don’t delude yourself into thinking I would have accepted,’ she scorned.

  Hazel eyes flashed. ‘I suppose you intend leaving now that you’ve done your duty by the parents?’ he accused angrily.

  Paula flushed guiltily. ‘Justin and I have somewhere else to go,’ she defended.

  ‘I’m sure you do,’ Tony acknowledged disgustedly.

  It was obvious that Paula’s intention of leaving only twenty minutes after her arrival was the reason she and Tony had been arguing all the time she and Justin were dancing. Caroline suddenly found, to her dismay, that she was as disgusted as Tony at the thought of the other couple leaving so that they could make love—but for completely different reasons.

  She looked up at Justin uncertainly as he squeezed her arm reassuringly.

  ‘Caro.’

  It was the softest of murmurs, barely perceptible as he spoke close to her ear so that the other couple shouldn’t hear him, and yet it was enough to reassure her that he didn’t intend making love to Paula tonight, that it was her he wanted.

  It was ridiculous to be pleased by the realisation, disloyal when she intended marrying Tony if he should ask her. But for that heart-stopping moment she wanted to be the one to leave with Justin, wanted to hear him mur
mur that shortened version of her name, that no one else had ever used before, over and over again as he made love to her.

  ‘Why don’t you stay on at the party, Paula?’ Justin suggested briskly. ‘I really do have to leave now.’

  Paula looked alarmed as it seemed he would slip away from her. ‘Oh, but—’

  ‘I did warn you I didn’t really have the time for a party tonight,’ he cut in in a voice that brooked no further protest to his decision to leave, alone. ‘I’ll see you on Monday. Tony,’ he nodded abruptly to the other man. ‘Caroline,’ he added lingeringly, his gaze holding her captive before he turned and strode purposefully across the room.

  ‘Damn, damn, damn!’ Paula muttered furiously as Justin left without a backwards glance.

  ‘You caught yourself the wrong one this time, sister dear,’ Tony taunted.

  Paula answered as heatedly as Tony had known she would, but Caroline wasn’t listening to their conversation, still staring across the room to where Justin had left seconds earlier. He hadn’t said anything about seeing her again but she knew that he was arrogant enough to try to contact her again, that he hadn’t given up.

  The rest of the evening was an anti-climax for Caroline, who barely noticed that Tony and Paula seemed to argue most of the time. Considering they were two mature people, Tony thirty to Paula’s thirty-five, both in exacting professions, Tony a doctor while Paula was a very competent lawyer, the two of them seemed to revert to the nursery whenever they were together like this!

  Caroline felt completely drained by the time the party drew to a close, finding it extremely difficult to behave as if that disturbing conversation with Justin de Wolfe had never taken place, and finding it even more difficult to behave as if nothing had changed between herself and Tony.

  But it had changed; nothing was the same, not even her response to his goodnight kisses once they reached her flat.

  ‘You’re tired.’ Tony finally drew back at her lack of enthusiasm for his caresses. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow after work.’

  Of course she was tired; it had been a long and traumatic day on the ward. Everything would look different after a good night’s sleep. Most of all that conversation with Justin de Wolfe. She firmly put from her mind the fact that tiredness had never made her unresponsive towards Tony before.

  But once she was in bed the memory of Justin de Wolfe and his outrageous suggestion that they had an affair wouldn’t be put from her mind any longer. He was such a fascinating man, his elusiveness where women were concerned making him more so, she admitted that. And he wanted her. He hadn’t said that he loved her, or that he even liked her, but he did want her.

  And she didn’t for one moment believe his calm acceptance of her refusal to see him again was the end of it, also knew that a little thing like not knowing her address wouldn’t stop a man like him if he were really determined to see her again. And he had seemed very determined.

  She—

  ‘Caroline.’

  She turned to the doorway, her eyes wide, shaking slightly as she saw from the cold expression on Justin’s face that he was still filled with that implacable anger.

  His expression darkened as she eyed him apprehensively. ‘You’re tired, and it’s late,’ he bit out, striding purposefully across the room, standing so close to her chair that the heat of his body reached out and touched her. ‘It’s time we were both in bed.’

  ‘But the things you said,’ she reminded in a pained voice. ‘The baby—’

  ‘I don’t think anything can be gained by discussing that any more tonight.’ His gaze was cold, his mouth a taut line as he pulled her effortlessly to her feet.

  ‘But’

  ‘Let’s go to bed, Caroline,’ he prompted impatiently. ‘Perhaps things will look—different, in the morning,’ he added in a hard voice.

  If they went to bed together tonight, would he want to make love to her? He was furious at the idea of the child she carried, but the flame she could see in the depths of his gaze told her it hadn’t changed his desire for her.

  But nothing would have changed in the morning; she would still be pregnant and, from the hardness of his expression, Justin would still be denying the child was his.

  She shook her head, several tendrils of fiery hair escaping the loose upsweep on to the crown of her head. ‘The baby isn’t going to disappear overnight,’ she told him.

  ‘Are you refusing to share a bed with me, Caroline?’ He spoke softly.

  She never had, not from the beginning, unable to fight the truth of his claim at their first meeting. They always wanted each other to the point of desperation; just a look from her or the murmur of her name from Justin and the two of them would be making love. It had been that way since she first went out with him.

  But they couldn’t make love tonight, not with the baby’s existence standing so solidly between them. She would never be able to forget that Justin had accused her of carrying Tony’s child; not even the mindless pleasure she could always find in Justin’s arms could make her forget that.

  She heaved a ragged sigh. ‘I have to, Justin,’ she told him emotionally. ‘We have to settle the matter of the baby before I—’

  He stiffened, and suddenly Caroline had a feeling much like a person in a courtroom must do just before Justin began to cross-examine them.

  ‘The matter is settled, Caroline,’ he bit out. ‘The child inside you is not mine. It is a medical impossibility for it to be so.’

  ‘But—’

  ‘Medically impossible, Caroline,’ he repeated harshly.

  ‘Doctors make mistakes—’

  ‘Not this time.’ His voice was a cold rasp.

  ‘But they have to have done,’ she insisted desperately. ‘I was a virgin that first night we were together, you know that!’ She looked up at him appealingly.

  He gave an acknowledging inclination of his head. ‘But you did insist on seeing Tony—alone—after that, to explain that you intended marrying me,’ he reminded her calmly.

  Caroline felt the colour leave her cheeks, staring at him as if she couldn’t believe what he was suggesting. ‘Justin, you can’t think, believe—’

  ‘What other explanation can there be for your pregnancy?’ He shrugged dismissively.

  ‘You prefer to believe I went to bed with Tony just before we were married rather than that the doctor who told you you’re sterile made a mistake?’ she gasped in a pained voice.

  His gaze was narrowed. ‘Yes.’

  She sat down suddenly. ‘Then you’re right, discussing this any further wouldn’t help at all,’ she said dully, blinking back the tears.

  He nodded abruptly. ‘I’ll sleep in the spare bedroom tonight,’ he told her harshly. ‘We’ll have to decide tomorrow what’s to be done about the baby.’

  That roused her from the sea of pain she had been drowning in. ‘What’s to be done?’ she repeated slowly, reluctantly, watching him warily.

  ‘I don’t want children, Caroline,’ he stated abruptly. ‘I never have.’

  What did that mean? That he wanted her to leave and take the baby with her, or that he just didn’t want the baby?

  CHAPTER TWO

  CAROLINE awoke with a groan, pushing the hair out of her face as she rolled over to look at the bedside clock. Nine-thirty; Justin would already have left for the day.

  She sat up in the bed, staring down at her still-flat stomach, already feeling an affinity with the child that nestled inside her.

  How could Justin deny that child, refuse to even acknowledge its existence other than as an unwelcome intrusion into their marriage?

  When she had pressed him last night to explain exactly what he meant by his remark about ‘not wanting children’, he had told her he thought it would be better if they slept on it and came to a decision in the morning. She hadn’t wanted to wait until then, had demanded he answer her. He had completely withdrawn from her then, leaving her standing beside the table that was still set for their celebration, and when she had
desperately followed him up the stairs it was to find the spare bedroom door locked against her.

  He couldn’t mean for her to choose between him or their baby, could he? Even if he didn’t believe it was his child, he couldn’t really expect her to—no! She wouldn’t even acknowledge him demanding that possibility. To her it wasn’t a possibility.

  She had to persuade him to see another doctor, knowing beyond a shadow of doubt that the child she carried was Justin’s. There had been no one else for her, not before or since him. How could there have been, when he fulfilled her completely, possessed her like a drug that made her body feverish and her senses so attuned to him that the mere sight of him drove her wild with need?

  Their first night together, here in this very house, she had submitted herself to a far greater power than any she possessed, had known herself lost from Justin’s first caress…

  Even Caroline hadn’t been prepared for his call the night they met. She was on the point of going to bed shortly after Tony had left when the telephone began to ring. Envisaging another unexpected night on duty when one of the night-staff had let them down, she picked the receiver up with a groan.

  ‘So you and Shepherd don’t sleep together,’ came the husky greeting.

  Caroline stiffened, instantly alert, moistening suddenly dry lips. ‘Justin?’ she said uncertainly.

  ‘Unless some other man questioned you tonight about your relationship with Shepherd,’ he acknowledged drily.

  She gave an irritated frown; she had expected to hear from him, but this! ‘I don’t know anyone else that arrogant,’ she admitted abruptly, somehow knowing that amusement had darkened his gaze. ‘How did you get my number?’ she prompted waspishly.

  ‘I telephoned Paula first and asked her,’ he revealed calmly.

  ‘You—’ She gasped, closing her eyes as she imagined what the other woman had made of that, the answer not a pleasant one.

  ‘Would you like to add “bastard” after the “arrogant"?’ he mused.

  ‘Yes!’ she snapped. ‘And how do you know Tony isn’t waiting in the bedroom for me right now?’ she demanded angrily.