An Unwilling Desire Read online

  James’s man Robert would make sure he was suitably well dressed. When she had first realised James had someone to help him out with the more mundane tasks like bathing and dressing she had wondered how he coped with the intrusion into his life, and yet Robert was one of those men who faded into the background when he wasn’t needed, curiously always there when he was. The fact that Maxine resented his presence in the house at all didn’t seem to bother either man, and as the married couple had separate bedrooms the meetings between the wife and manservant were kept to a minimum. Much as James loved Maxine, Holly wondered which would be the one to go, Maxine or Robert, if it ever came to a confrontation.

  The dress Holly chose for dinner was the classic black, high-necked, long-sleeved, flowing loosely from the bust to just below her knees, her legs slender above the black sandals. Her make-up was still light, a pale lipstick, and yet her eyes remained her main feature, a darkening mascara showing the length and thickness of her lashes. Her hair was short and boyishly styled, newly washed, gleaming brightly auburn. Her lack of height prevented her having Maxine Benedict’s air of sophistication, but all the same she knew she didn’t look unattractive. Besides, who would notice her with Maxine about! It was enough that she felt confident about her appearance.

  The lounge was empty when she walked in at seven-thirty, so she moved to the vast array of drinks on the sideboard to pour herself a small glass of sherry as James had invited her to do in the past if she should get down before him, turning back with the glass in her hand to find Maxine’s friend standing in the doorway, a cynical twist to his lips. As she had thought, he had dressed for the part, in a white dinner jacket and white silk shirt, a black bow-tie and black fitted trousers, his blond hair brushed casually back from his face.

  Holly stood her ground with effort as he came into the room, flushing almost guiltily as his gaze remained fixed on the drink in her hand.

  ‘A secret drinker, hmm?’ he taunted.

  ‘Not at all—’

  His soft laugh interrupted her. ‘Are you always so quick to jump to the bait?’ he mused. ‘If you are, I’m going to enjoy my stay here this time.’

  Her eyes widened at the implication behind these words. ‘You’ve been here before?’

  His mouth twisted. ‘Many times.’

  She should have realised that by the confident way he moved about the house. ‘You haven’t been here for the last three months,’ she said stiffly.

  ‘Not since you’ve been here, no,’ he acknowleged derisively. ‘Maybe if I’d known what a fiery secretary James had engaged I might have done.’

  ‘I’m not fiery—’ Holly banked down her anger. ‘At least, not usually,’ she mumbled.

  ‘Do I take that as a compliment?’ He moved closer to her to pour himself a large whisky.

  ‘No!’ Holly snapped.

  ‘I thought not,’ he said dryly. ‘So you don’t usually lose that delightful little temper of yours,’ he murmured thoughtfully. ‘What is it about me, do you think, that triggers off this rarely used temper?’

  ‘You’re insufferable!’ she glared at him.

  ‘Besides that,’ he dismissed uninterestedly.

  ‘Isn’t that enough?’

  He shrugged. ‘I wouldn’t have thought so. You disliked me on sight.’

  ‘I’m sure many women find you very attractive,’ Holly derided at his chagrined expression at the realisation. ‘I just find you obnoxious.’

  ‘Mm, novel, isn’t it?’ He appeared clinically interested by the fact.

  She gave him an exasperated look. ‘Don’t you ever take anything seriously?’

  ‘Life’s too short for that. And I don’t consider you dislike of me to be serious.’

  ‘You conceited—’

  ‘Not conceited, Holly,’ he disagreed softly. ‘I’m just intrigued by the fact that almost everything I say and do brings a heated reaction from you. James was singing your praises when I went back to the lounge this afternoon; I couldn’t believe the cool competent young lady he was describing was the same one I’d just met. You may be competent, in fact that determined little chin tells me you are, but you certainly aren’t cool. I was wondering what it was about me that brings about this Jekyll and Hyde change in character.’

  ‘I told you, I find you insufferable.’

  ‘And I told you it isn’t enough.’ He studied her through narrowed green eyes. ‘Maybe it’s my similarity to James you dislike. You defend him like a cat defending its kitten. I wonder—’

  ‘Would you please pour me another sherry?’ she requested stiffly.

  He took the glass she held out, his eyes mocking as he refilled it. ‘I thought you weren’t a secret drinker?’

  ‘I’m not!’

  He looked pointedly at the second sherry which she had almost consumed. ‘I hope that isn’t on a completely empty stomach. Which way do you go when you’re drunk, happy or sad?’

  Holly paled at the taunt, slamming the glass down on the table, spilling some of its contents on the polished surface. ‘I have never been drunk,’ she told him tautly. ‘Never!’

  His eyes widened at her unwarranted vehemence. ‘Holly—’

  ‘Ah, Zack darling!’ Maxine Benedict floated into the room, her black hair brushed in casual waves to her shoulders, her make-up perfect, the black dress she wore clinging suggestively to her model-thin figure. The contrast, in the style and wearer of the two black gowns, had the effect of making Holly’s look nun-like! ‘Pour me a drink, darling, you know what I like. Hello, Holly,’ she greeted with her usual friendliness. ‘What happened to you this afternoon?’

  Holly gave the other woman a startled look, glancing briefly at the man she now knew was called Zack. His deliberately bland expression didn’t help her at all! ‘Happened?’ she enquired abruptly, wondering what on earth reason the man Zack had given for her not joining them this afternoon.

  Maxine accepted her drink with a warm smile before once more looking at Holly. ‘Zack came to look for you. James was quite worried when he came back and said he couldn’t find you,’ she added derisively.

  ‘I—er—’ Holly gave Zack an angry glare, receiving only a mocking smile in return. ‘I was in the library.’

  ‘What a pity I didn’t think to look there,’ drawled Zack. ‘I’d been looking forward to meeting you.’

  ‘Really?’ she answered coldly.

  ‘Stop teasing her, Zack,’ Maxine cut in irritably. ‘What on earth can be keeping James?’ she added impatiently. ‘Probably Robert can’t decide which tie he’s to wear.’

  Holly’s mouth tightened resentfully at the derision Maxine didn’t even try to hide. She didn’t know why the other woman came home at all if she was going to act like this. ‘Maybe he would have welcomed your opinion,’ she defended icily.

  ‘He has only to ask,’ Maxine told her in a bored voice.

  That was the trouble, James would never ask his wife for anything, not her time, and certainly not her love. Couldn’t Maxine see that? Or did she just not care? If only—

  ‘Are your eyes really violet, Holly?’ Zack asked irrelevantly.

  She gave him a puzzled frown. ‘So I’ve been told.’

  ‘Really, Zack,’ Maxine snapped tautly, ‘the colour of Holly’s eyes is of little interest.’

  ‘Not to me,’ he drawled. ‘I’ve never met a girl who has violet eyes, I’ve only ever seen Elizabeth Taylor’s in films.’

  ‘Holly bears little resemblance to Elizabeth Taylor,’ the other woman derided, her movements nervy as she kept glancing expectantly towards the door.

  Zack gave Holly a long look of consideration. ‘No, she’s more like a red-haired Audrey Hepburn, all eyes.’

  ‘Brings out the protective instinct in you, does she, darling?’ Maxine’s voice had hardened to scorn.

  ‘A little,’ he nodded. ‘Maybe you should go up and see what’s keeping James, Maxine,’ he suggested softly. ‘It’s almost eight o’clock.’

  Holly was becoming c
oncerned with James’s nonappearance herself, although she was more than a little surprised to see Maxine actually leave the room as Zack had told her to do.

  ‘You can close your mouth now,’ he drawled with amusement once they were alone.

  Her mouth closed with a snap. This man gave the impression of making life a game, and yet he missed none of the emotions or movements of those about him.

  ‘And maybe in future,’ he added, dangerously soft, ‘you should keep your opinions concerning Maxine and James to yourself.’

  ‘I beg your pardon?’ she gasped.

  ‘You heard me.’ The lazy humour had completely gone from his face and voice now, revealing a more steely side to his character. ‘They have enough problems already, without a third person adding to them,’ he warned.

  ‘If anyone is an unwanted third person here it isn’t me,’ she snapped. ‘You—’ she broke off as she heard the descent of the lift from the bedrooms to the ground floor, a necessity with James’s wheelchair, and turned away as the other couple entered the room a few seconds later.

  James looked tired, more tired and strained than she had ever seen him. Her anger towards the other couple grew. How dared this man Zack tell her not to interfere when he and Maxine were the ones hurting James!

  ‘Holly, my dear,’ James greeted her with a smile. ‘Maxine tells me you were in the library all the time this afternoon.’

  She hated deceiving this man, and yet about this she had little choice. ‘Er—yes, for a while.’

  ‘But you and Zack have been introduced now?’

  ‘Well …’

  ‘There hasn’t really been the time or opportunity,’ Zack answered him.

  James frowned. ‘Maxine, didn’t you—’

  ‘Of course not,’ his wife cut in sharply. ‘The two of them were together when I came downstairs, I naturally assumed Zack had introduced himself. He isn’t usually so backward in coming forward.’

  ‘What must you think of our manners, Holly!’ James said irritably. ‘This is my brother Zack. Zack, my secretary, Holly Macey.’

  His brother! That was the only part of the introduction that registered with Holly. This man Zack, the man she had been consistently rude to, was James’s brother. No wonder she had confused the two of them at first glance, the family resemblance was such as to have easily made that mistake. But how could Zack Benedict have such contempt for his own brother, talk so scathingly about him getting up and walking?

  ‘Mr Benedict,’ she nodded abrupt acknowledgment of him.

  ‘Zack,’ he corrected smoothly. ‘Or Zachary, if you prefer. But never Mr Benedict, Holly, Surely you’re used to the informality here by now?’

  Holly flushed her resentment as he very effectively reminded her that she was the outsider here, but she was restricted from answering him as she would have liked because of the other couple. Zack Benedict had deliberately encouraged her to believe her mistaken assumption of the reason he was here, was even now enjoying her discomfort, a taunting smile to his lips. But was she so wrong about his relationship with Maxine? Just because the two men were brothers that didn’t preclude such a relationship between Maxine and Zack, in fact it could increase the possibility, the two men were enough alike to encourage Maxine to transfer her attention to the mobile brother.

  She looked up to find Zack Benedict’s eyes narrowed on her, as hard as emeralds as he seemed to guess her thoughts. Her head went back in challenge. ‘Zack,’ she repeated softly.

  ‘Well, now that’s settled,’ Maxine put in waspishly, ‘could we go in to dinner? It’s hours since Zack and I ate in London.’

  ‘But it was a delicious meal,’ Zack smiled, grooves etched either side of his mouth. ‘You have such a good cook.’

  ‘Yes, I do, don’t I?’ Maxine purred at the compliment, smiling naturally for the first time that evening. ‘You remember Abigail, James?’

  ‘Of course I remember her,’ he snapped his bad humour. ‘I hired her!’

  His wife flushed. ‘It’s been so long since you visited the flat in London that I—’

  ‘I may be confined to a wheelchair, Maxine, but I am not senile!’ he cut in harshly. ‘Let’s go in to dinner,’ he decided roughly.

  ‘James—’

  ‘Dinner,’ he repeated in an autocratic voice, a voice that brooked no argument from anyone.

  Maxine was the one to walk beside the electrically operated wheelchair as they went through to the dining-room, and Holly had perforce to accept the arm Zack Benedict mockingly held out to her. Not that she gave him a second glance, being too taken aback by James’s attitude to Maxine. She had never heard him speak to his wife like that before in her presence, and she could only wonder at his uncharacteristic sharpness with her now. Perhaps he too wondered about his wife’s relationship with his young brother.

  The small round table had been set with four places, one of the chairs being removed as James skilfully manouevred his chair into this vacant spot. Holly and Maxine were to sit either side of him, with Zack opposite, the younger man seeing both woman seated with a gallant flourish.

  The meal was nothing like the quiet ones of enjoyment Holly and James had shared together in the evenings the last few weeks, James eating his food in morose silence, Maxine and Zack seeming lost in their own thoughts, Holly just feeling awkward and uncomfortable in the tense atmosphere.

  ‘How is the writing going, James?’ Zack finally cut through the soft clatter of cutlery.

  ‘Fine,’ his brother answered curtly.

  ‘I’m sure working with Holly must be a great inspiration,’ the younger man taunted.

  ‘Holly is—restful to be with,’ James replied slowly.

  ‘Really?’ Dark blond brows rose over sceptical green eyes. ‘She doesn’t make me feel that way.’

  ‘Holly makes Zack feel protective,’ Maxine put in derisively.

  Hazel eyes sharpened suspiciously. ‘Protective?’

  ‘Actually,’ Zack answered the other man, ‘she doesn’t make me feel that way either. Can you sing, Holly?’

  ‘Sing?’ she echoed in a startled voice, leaning back as her soup bowl was removed to be replaced with a clean plate for her main course. When she first came to work here she had been slightly unnerved by the abundance of servants in the house, but now she took it in her stride, although she was aware that the household staff considered her to be apart from them, treating her more like a guest than an employee like themselves.

  ‘Mm,’ Zack was watching her over the rim of the wine glass he held cupped in his hands. ‘With your looks, some sexy clothes, and a good singing voice, you could go far.’

  ‘At least as far as your bed, darling,’ Maxine drawled mockingly.

  ‘Maxine!’ James slammed his glass down on the table. ‘Keep that sort of talk for your London friends, neither Holly or I appreciate it.’

  His wife’s mouth tightened at the rebuke. ‘But we all know Zack’s little songbirds occupy his bed at some time or other.’

  ‘You flatter me, sweet,’ Zack said dryly. ‘I have been known to fail on the odd occasion.’

  ‘I’m sure that neither Holly nor I are interested in your prowess in bed,’ his brother dismissed.

  Mocking green eyes were turned on her. ‘Aren’t you?’

  A delicate blush darkened her cheeks. ‘I’ve always believed that if a man has to constantly prove himself in bed with a string of different women there’s something wrong with him,’ she told him coldly.

  ‘Such as?’ He was still amused.

  ‘Such as he really prefers men, he’s very shallow, or he’s just afraid to fall in love with one woman,’ she said bluntly, looking only at him as she made the statement.

  Maxine gave a laugh of pure enjoyment, her air of bored sophistication leaving her for a moment. ‘Well, Zack?’ she gave a gurgle of laughter, looking years younger, a warm glow to her blue eyes.

  ‘Hm,’ he grimaced. ‘You can safely discount the first, Holly,’ he said dryly. ‘I enjoy an
d like women too much for that to be true. The second? No, I don’t think I’m shallow either. A little cynical, perhaps,’ he admitted thoughtfully. ‘As for being afraid of love …’ he shook his head, ‘I don’t think that’s true either. What’s your excuse?’

  She raised startled eyes at the unexpected suddenness of the question. ‘Excuse for what?’ she frowned.

  ‘For not being married.’

  ‘I—’

  ‘Holly is only twenty-two,’ James defended tautly. ‘Much too young to be married.’

  ‘I was engaged to you at that age,’ Maxine reminded him sharply.

  ‘That was different,’ he snapped.

  ‘Was it?’ Her voice was hard.

  ‘I think so,’ he nodded grimly.

  ‘How?’

  ‘Maxine—’

  ‘How was it different, James?’ she persisted.

  His eyes were hard as he looked at her. ‘This is not the time to discuss it.’

  ‘It never is.’ She stood up with a noisy scrape of her chair. ‘Excuse me,’ her tone was brittle, ‘I’m no longer hungry.’

  ‘Maxine!’ James’ voice thundered across the room, halting her.

  She turned slowly to face her husband, very pale beneath her make-up. ‘Yes?’

  ‘Sit down,’ he ordered abruptly.

  ‘Go to hell!’ she snapped.

  His mouth tightened ominously. ‘I—said—sit—down!’

  Maxine’s head went back in challenge. ‘Make me.’

  James went deathly pale. ‘Bitch!’ he groaned in a pained voice, and threw his napkin down on the table, manoeuvring his chair over to the door, pushing it open with a crash. The room was starkly silent after his exit.

  Maxine suddenly gave a choked cry before she too rushed from the room.

  CHAPTER TWO

  HOLLY had sat in horrified silence as Maxine challenged James’s disability in that cruel way. Although Maxine was often absent from the house she had never heard the other couple be so hurtful to each other before. It wasn’t—

  ‘Stay where you are.’

  She hadn’t even been aware of standing up, just as she had forgotten the presence of Zack Benedict in the dining-room with her. She resented being told what to do by him or anyone else when they had no right to do so! ‘I beg your pardon?’ She looked down at him icily.