To Mend a Marriage Read online

  But what did she do now?

  She’d left Nick for all the wrong reasons, but to tell him of the things she had thought about him concerning Jemima would surely only broaden the rift between them. She felt trapped between a rock and a hard place. And in neither direction did she stand to be reconciled with Nick…

  ‘I thought you intended coming to collect your things when I was safely at work?’ Nick rasped from her open bedroom doorway.

  Gemini had heard his car in the driveway as he arrived home at the end of his working day, her hands shaking slightly at the realisation that she was about to come face to face with her husband for the first time in two days. It had taken her that long to pluck up the courage to come here!

  And also to come up with a legitimate reason for seeing him at all!

  It had been the longest two days of her life, when her emotions had seesawed between despair and hope. Despair because she thought she might have lost Nick for good. Hope because part of her so wanted Nick to care for her; she didn’t believe he could have made love to her in the way he had if he didn’t feel anything for her at all. And they were married to each other…

  And so she’d decided to come to the house, ostensibly for more of her things, at a time she’d hoped Nick would be home—only to be informed by a still upset Mrs James that he had told her he would be late home this evening. The only answer to that, that Gemini could see, was that she would just have to linger over her packing for as long as possible.

  Turning slowly to face Nick across the width of her bedroom, she saw he didn’t look as if the last two days had been exactly happy ones for him either. His expression was grim, his face slightly thinner too, and those green eyes were narrowed warily.

  He was wary! Gemini’s knees were knocking together just at the sight of him, making her relieved that she had chosen to wear a deep blue trouser suit and cream blouse, the former hopefully hiding the fact that her legs were shaking from nervousness!

  She had known many emotions with Nick—gratitude, indifference, friendship, love and then passion—but she couldn’t actually remember ever feeling this emotionally frightened before… So much depended on this meeting. If they should argue again—!

  But she was determined they wouldn’t argue again. It would solve nothing and achieve even less.

  ‘You don’t mind, do you?’ she asked huskily, holding up the gold brush set he had given her last Christmas that she had been about to put in the open suitcase on her bed.

  ‘Take what you like,’ he dismissed harshly, looking extremely remote in the dark business suit and white shirt he had worn to work. ‘They’re your things.’

  Not very encouraging. Gemini grimaced inwardly. But then, what had she expected? Nick was a proud man, and she had walked out on him and their marriage; of course he was angry.

  ‘Have you seen Danny?’

  She turned sharply back to Nick, her gaze searching the grimness of his face but unable to read anything from his closed expression. ‘Is this a trick question?’ she finally replied warily.

  He gave a humourless smile. ‘Not at all,’ he drawled mockingly. ‘I merely wondered if there had been any—developments in that direction?’ He arched dark brows.

  A bubble of hysterical laughter welled up in her throat. Developments? Would he call the two of them being asked to be the witnesses at Jemima and Danny’s wedding next month a ‘development’?

  She shrugged dismissively. ‘Several, actually,’ she drawled self-derisively. ‘But I think we need to sit and talk about them in less—intimate surroundings.’ She looked pointedly around the room that had been her own bedroom until three days ago. And would be again if she had her way!

  ‘I—’ Nick broke off as he heard the approach of the housekeeper in the hallway outside. ‘Yes, Mrs James?’ he prompted kindly as she appeared in the open doorway.

  Rachel James looked awkwardly at the two of them. ‘I— wondered if Mrs Drummond would be staying for dinner?’ she prompted breathlessly, looking painfully at Gemini.

  The other woman had been so upset when Gemini had left on Tuesday, and was obviously still very shaken by the separation. But there was nothing Gemini could say or do to alleviate the other woman’s obvious unhappiness with the situation. Not when her own unhappiness was so overwhelming!

  Nick quirked dark brows at Gemini. ‘I don’t know—is she?’ he queered softly.

  ‘I’m afraid not,’ Gemini refused regretfully. ‘Hugh and Alan have invited me to have a meal with them this evening,’ she explained, so that there would be no misunderstanding about the reason for her refusal.

  Hugh had been badgering her all week to go and have a meal with Alan and himself at their apartment. He seemed determined to try and look after her—whether she wanted to be looked after or not! She had finally given in and accepted an invitation for tonight—she’d thought she might need a little cheering up after collecting some of her things from the house. She certainly hadn’t thought she would receive an invitation to dine with Nick!

  ‘Just the one for dinner again, then, Mrs James,’ Nick told the housekeeper, waiting until the other woman had left before turning back to Gemini. ‘I had better let you get on if you’re going on to Hugh’s.’

  ‘I’m not expected for another half an hour,’ Gemini put in quickly, colour heating her cheeks as Nick raised questioning brows at her outburst. ‘I do want—need to talk to you, Nick,’ she told him huskily. ‘Just not here. I—’

  ‘Have dinner with me tomorrow evening?’ he put in suddenly. ‘Not here,’ he agreed grimly. ‘I can pick you up at the salon at say eight o’clock, and we can go on to a restaurant?’

  Gemini looked at him searchingly. Was Nick actually asking her out? Don’t be stupid, Gemini, she instantly remonstrated with herself; she was the one who had said she needed to talk to him, and a restaurant would be a natural place for that conversation to take place.

  She moistened dry lips. ‘That sounds—fine,’ she accepted gruffly.

  Nick nodded abruptly, his closed expression giving away nothing of how he felt at having his invitation accepted. ‘Would you like to join me in a sherry before you go?’ he offered evenly.

  Would she? She would like to join him for much more than a pre-dinner drink! But if the sherry was all that was on offer…!

  ‘That would be nice, thank you. But only a small one, as I’m driving,’ she said lightly.

  ‘Leave those things for now.’ Nick waved a dismissive hand towards the suitcase she had just closed. ‘You can collect them later,’ he added.

  The house was just the same, the sitting-room as warm and cosy as she had made it six months ago, when they had redecorated, and yet Gemini already felt like a visitor. In fact, now that she knew she was going to see Nick again tomorrow evening, she just wanted to leave.

  As they sat drinking their drinks, even their conversation was stilted. Nick asked her about work; Gemini did the same where he was concerned. But neither of them was particularly interested in the answer. Work, she was sure, was the last thing on either of their minds!

  This was awful, Gemini finally decided, swallowing down her drink as quickly as possible before standing up to leave. ‘I don’t want to be late,’ she excused as Nick looked up at her enquiringly.

  ‘Of course not,’ he acknowledged abruptly, standing up himself to walk with her to the door. ‘Give my regards to Hugh and Alan.’

  How did one say goodnight to the man who was your husband—and yet so obviously wasn’t? Gemini wondered miserably. ‘See you tomorrow,’ she told him lightly.

  He gave an inclination of his head. ‘I’ll look forward to it.’

  Would he really? Gemini mused self-derisively as she drove to Hugh and Alan’s apartment. Somehow she doubted it.

  But she would. Because tomorrow night was the last chance she had to try and salvage her marriage. It might not work out, but it wouldn’t be for want of trying on her part!

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  ‘MY G
OD, Gemini, you look beautiful!’ Nick came to an abrupt halt in the salon doorway as he took in her appearance.

  She had certainly done her best to be so; her gown was long silver-coloured silk, with tiny flowers in silver embroidered into the material. Low-necked, with thin shoulder-straps, it suited her light tan to perfection. The colour gave an ebony sheen to her hair, her eyes appearing almost navy in contrast. Nick was right. It was a stunning gown, and she felt good in it.

  And his remark about the way she looked took attention away from her racing pulse and shortness of breath at how handsome he looked, in his black evening suit and snowy white shirt. But she had told him not so long ago how handsome he looked in a dinner suit, only to be rebuked for the remark, so this evening she determined to keep her opinion to herself!

  ‘Thank you.’ She smiled at his compliment, determined there would not be any awkwardness between them tonight, as there had been at the house last night as they’d drunk sherry together. ‘Although I’m not quite ready. I thought you said eight o’clock…?’ She frowned after a glance at her watch showed it was only twenty minutes to eight.

  Nick’s mouth set grimly. ‘I did. Something came up,’ he added scathingly.

  ‘Come inside,’ Gemini invited in a slightly puzzled voice. ‘Can I get you a drink?’ she offered once they were in the confines of the salon’s compact apartment.

  He nodded. ‘Perhaps you had better get us both one!’ he muttered enigmatically.

  Something had certainly rattled him, Gemini realised with a frown as she moved about the tiny kitchen pouring them both a glass of wine from the bottle of cool Chablis she had in the small refrigerator. She had intended offering Nick a glass of wine when he arrived anyway. She’d thought it would be a nice way to begin their evening together. But Nick looked more in need of the alcohol than the sharing of a pleasant pre-dinner drink that Gemini had anticipated!

  ‘Did you have a good evening with Hugh and Alan last night?’ Nick prompted interestedly once he had taken a much-needed sip of his wine.

  The two of them were now sitting opposite each other in the two armchairs in the small sitting-room.

  Gemini smiled ruefully; it was impossible to have anything else but a good time in the company of the two men. Especially when the two of them had decided it was going to be an evening to cheer her up. Both of them had set out to be entertaining—and had succeeded. And yet Gemini had been aware all the evening that there was something missing—and that ‘something’ was Nick, at her side…

  ‘Very good, thank you.’ She nodded, smiling at the memory, but all the time aware that Nick was evading talking about the reason he had arrived so early.

  Nick looked at her intently. ‘You know, maybe the two of us should have done this before,’ he murmured thoughtfully.

  She frowned. ‘Done what?’

  ‘Gone out to dinner alone together. Or taken walks, like we did on Sunday. Holidays too. All the things that normal couples do together,’ he added grimly.

  Gemini grimaced. ‘We were never a “normal” couple.’

  ‘Why weren’t we?’ Nick frowned.

  She swallowed hard. ‘I—’ She broke off awkwardly. They hadn’t even gone out to dinner yet—and if this conversation became too intense now, then they probably wouldn’t get out at all! And not because of any pleasurable reasons…

  ‘Why?’ Nick prompted again hardily.

  Gemini gave a wistful sigh, knowing that in this mood Nick was unstoppable. ‘I think when we first married we were too aware of the reason we had married at all, and as time went on it was too late to change the ground rules that had been laid down in the beginning.’

  ‘But eventually we did change them, Gemini,’ Nick rasped. ‘And a lot of good it did either of us—because the next day you left me!’

  ‘Not because of that,’ she protested instantly, determined there should be no misunderstanding about her feelings concerning the night they had spent together. ‘I left—I left because of something else entirely.’

  ‘Danny,’ Nick bit out harshly.

  ‘No,’ she denied categorically.

  ‘He telephoned me today, Gemini,’ Nick said softly, watching her intently.

  She nodded, not too surprised after her own visit from Jemima—although, typically, Danny had taken the easier option and used the telephone rather than a face to face confrontation with his brother!

  ‘Could he possibly be the “something” that came up?’ she guessed shrewdly, sadly seeing the evening out with Nick that she had been anticipating all day disappear out of the window.

  ‘Like the proverbial bad penny,’ Nick confirmed disgustedly.

  Gemini chewed on her bottom lip. ‘Could I hazard a guess that he told you about his marriage to Jemima next month?’ Why else would Nick be looking so grim?

  Nick drew in a deep breath, standing up to look at her with narrowed eyes. ‘You know about that too?’

  ‘From Jemima,’ she confirmed ruefully. ‘I now know about a lot of things I wasn’t at all clear on when I made my decision to leave you on Tuesday!’ she murmured self-derisively.

  ‘What sort of things?’ he prompted warily.

  She drew in a ragged breath. ‘The most important one is who Jessica’s father is,’ she told him bluntly.

  This conversation, as she had guessed it would, was destroying any chance the two of them might have had of spending a pleasant evening together. But it was too late to do anything to stop this now. It just had to roll on to its conclusion—whatever that might be…

  ‘Danny, of course,’ Nick dismissed scathingly. ‘He and Jemima have been living together for months.’

  ‘Eight, according to Jemima.’ Gemini nodded. ‘But I didn’t know that then—’

  ‘I’m aware of that.’ Nick sighed. ‘Why do you suppose I found it so damned difficult to explain, when I knew Danny shared his apartment with someone, and that the someone was Jemima—and their baby daughter?’ He shook his head. ‘But at least you know now, I suppose,’ he muttered grimly.

  She nodded. ‘Jemima told me. When she came to ask if the two of us would be witnesses at their wedding next month,’ she added softly, looking intently at Nick. After all, the fact that Jemima was marrying Danny didn’t mean Nick wasn’t still in love with her. In fact, the way he was pacing the room like a caged lion seemed to imply that he was!

  Nick’s mouth firmed into a thin line, his eyes glittering deeply green. ‘I trust you gave her the same answer that I gave Danny earlier this evening!’

  ‘Which was?’ she prompted gently.

  ‘When pigs fly! When hell freezes over! When—’

  ‘Okay, I get the message!’ Gemini cut in ruefully.

  ‘So did Danny,’ Nick nodded tersely.

  And none of what they had said so far gave her any idea how Nick felt about Jemima marrying his brother…!

  Her heart ached as she gave him surreptitious looks from beneath lowered lashes. She wanted to smooth the frown from between his eyes, take the grimness away from that mouth that could give such pleasure—

  Not now, Gemini, she inwardly rebuked herself as she felt herself becoming aroused just looking at Nick. She needed to keep her head—and her emotions—clear, if she were going to make any sense to him at all.

  Nick looked down at her with narrowed eyes, his expression unfathomable now.

  Gemini swallowed hard. ‘What is it?’ she prompted self-consciously. She knew her make-up wasn’t complete yet; she hadn’t had time to put on her lipgloss before he arrived. But, then again, he was early…

  He looked away briefly, before turning back again determinedly. ‘I really don’t care any more whether you want to hear this from me or not—you are uniquely the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life!’ he told her bluntly.

  Gemini felt as if she’d had all the breath knocked out of her body. She moistened her suddenly dry lips before answering. ‘And why shouldn’t I want to hear it?’ she prompted huskily. ‘Every woman l
ikes to be told she’s beautiful.’

  ‘But not necessarily by me,’ he clarified hardily.

  She didn’t want to hear it from anyone else! In fact, it would be completely meaningless from anyone else…

  She gave a rueful grimace. ‘There was only one thing wrong with your compliment, Nick—I’m far from unique; Jemima and I are identical twins,’ she reminded him bleakly. Wasn’t it that fact that had prompted him into proposing to her in the first place?

  He shook his head disgustedly. ‘I have told you before—the two of you are absolutely nothing alike!’

  Gemini looked away. ‘I know I haven’t behaved very well in the last few days, Nick, but please don’t be hurtful,’ she choked, burying her face in her hands. It was over. It was all over. ‘I’ve always known that to you I could only ever be a pale substitute for Jemima—’

  ‘A what?’ Nick cut in incredulously, moving her hand away from her face to pull her to her feet in front of him. ‘What the hell are you talking about, Gemini?’ He looked down at her searchingly.

  And Gemini looked back at him, but she couldn’t see him clearly, tears blinding her vision. ‘I’m talking about the fact that it’s Jemima you’ve always loved!’ She wrenched away from him. She couldn’t bear to be that close to him and know that it was still her sister that he loved. ‘You married me because Jemima and Danny made fools of us both—and also because, to look at, at least, I’m Jemima’s double. What a disappointment it must have been to you to learn that we really are nothing alike!’ she added self-derisively. ‘Jemima is the one that glows with beauty, that oozes fun, the daring one, the one who takes the risks—and always wins!’ she choked.

  As her sister had won again now. It didn’t matter that Jemima was marrying Danny, that the two of them had a child together—not when Nick still loved her!

  It had gone very quiet in the room after her outburst, so quiet she could hear the ticking of the clock on the mantelpiece. Why didn’t Nick say something? Anything! And then just go…

  She had been a fool. She’d really believed that with Jemima and Danny safely married to each other at last perhaps there could be a chance for Nick and herself. Fool. Idiot. Dreamer!