Elusive Lover Read online

  ‘Oh, I remember,’ he gave a bitter laugh. ‘How I remember,’ he moaned throatily, bending to kiss her breast with unerring accuracy, teasing the nipple with the warmth of his mouth, his tongue moving erotically against the hardened flesh.

  Erin held him against her, her head thrown back with the tense pleasure he was causing, a burning ache beginning deep down in her body, an unfamiliar ache that made her move restlessly against him.

  Josh’s knee moved between her legs, pushing them gently apart as he came to lie between her thighs, their bodies moving together in an as yet unfulfilled passion. Their clothes were a hindrance that they were both impatient to remove, and Josh’s hand moved beneath her pyjama trousers to rest possessively on her hips, caressing the silken flesh with knowing fingers.

  When his hand moved to the single fastening Erin helped him, sliding her hips out of the cumbersome clothing, hearing a rustle of movement as Josh’s denims joined the pile of clothes thrown carelessly across the room.

  When his naked body came to her she knew only pleasure in his male beauty, her initial gasp of pain caught between his lips as he kissed her with a passion that soon aroused her to fever-pitch once again.

  He stilled for a moment. ‘I wish I could just hold this moment for ever,’ he said in a ragged voice.

  But soon they knew they didn’t want to hold that moment at all, as their bodies moved together in searing pleasure, the storm outside nothing compared to the storm of their emotions. For Erin Josh’s fiercely tender love- making was a revelation, and her body arched against his as nerve-tingling sensations racked her whole body, their pleasure reaching its intense climax in unison, Josh’s voice hoarse against her throat as he groaned his heated satisfaction.

  Just at that moment the lights came back on.

  Erin buried her face against Josh’s shoulder, embarrassment delicately colouring her cheeks.

  ‘Their timing’s a bit off,’ he chuckled softly. ‘But it could have been worse.’

  It certainly could! The shock of what had just happened between them suddenly hit her. She had been too overwhelmed with the intensity of her love to deny what they both wanted, but now the consequences of her actions washed over her.

  For Josh it had just been another enjoyable physical experience, no words of love had passed his lips even at the most intense moment of their lovemaking, whereas it had just deepened the love she felt for him, made her want to cling and cling to him, to never be parted from him again.

  The starkness of the electric lighting had brought home to her the seriousness of what had just occurred between them, their bodies still deeply entwined, even though Erin knew they had mentally drawn apart.

  ‘Erin?’ Josh looked down at her, smoothing the damp hair from her brow as he supported himself above her with his elbows.

  She couldn’t meet the enquiry in his eyes. ‘I—You’re squashing me,’ she told him in a husky voice, pushing at the hard wall of his chest.

  ‘I’m sorry.’ He instantly moved off her.

  Erin sat up to cover her nakedness. ‘Could you pass me my clothes please?’

  He frowned his puzzlement at her behaviour. ‘Erin——’

  ‘Please, Josh!’ Her tone was sharp, selfconscious of her nudity.

  ‘Okay,’ and he gave a resigned shrug, standing up in one fluid movement to collect her clothes together.

  Erin watched him beneath lowered lashes, knowing she had never seen a man as beautiful as Josh, not even those muscular type they insisted on putting in advertisements. Josh moved with a surefooted grace, feeling no embarrassment at his own nakedness—and no wonder, he had a magnificent body, sleek and powerful. And minutes earlier he had given her pleasure with that body, had pleasured her so intensely that she still quivered with the emotion, her limbs seeming to tremble as she pulled on the pyjamas he handed her, tying the belt of her robe with a sense of loss.

  Lovemaking shouldn’t end like this, even in her inexperience she knew that. They should be in each other’s arms, murmuring words of love to each other, anticipating making love once again. Instead of which they were eyeing each other warily, Josh pushing the bottom of his shirt into his denims before buckling his belt.

  He put a hand up to his eyes, running it around to his nape. ‘What do you want me to say?’ He looked at her with darkened eyes.

  She wanted him to tell her he loved her! That he couldn’t live without her, that she meant everything to him. She wanted him to ask her to marry him!

  ‘Nothing,’ she said dully. ‘I think it would be better if we both said nothing.’

  He gave a deep sigh. ‘If that’s what you want.’

  ‘It is.’

  ‘I’m sorry, Erin.’

  That was the one thing she hadn’t wanted him to say! It only confirmed her belief that he regretted making love to her, that he probably regretted ever meeting her.

  Her mouth trembled precariously as she held back the tears. ‘Goodnight, Josh.’ She ran to the door, desperate to get to her room before she burst into loud sobs. She had never looked pretty when she cried, had never seen anyone who did, and she could do without that added blow to her self-esteem.

  ‘Erin!’ He stopped her at the door. ‘Erin, I——’

  ‘Nothing, Josh,’ she reminded him. ‘Please—nothing.’

  ‘I—I’m just so damned sorry!’ He looked ill.

  ‘So am I,’ she choked before running to her room, where she leaned heavily back against the door, tears already streaming down her face before she began to sob in earn-est.

  Waking up the next morning was the hardest thing she ever had to do, not wanting to remember the ecstasy of being loved by Josh the night before—or his regret after-wards.

  She was halfway through dressing when Josh knocked on the door and entered the room. Erin froze in the action of buttoning her shirt, hastily doing up the remaining but-tons as she realised a vast expanse of bare flesh and the silky smooth material of her bra must be visible to Josh’s narrow-eyed gaze.

  They continued to look at each other warily, neither of them seeming to know what to say to the other.

  ‘I—I’m sorry I missed our ride this morning,’ Erin finally spoke. ‘I didn’t feel in the mood.’ She hadn’t felt she could face him, accompany him on the ride as if nothing had happened between them last night. They both knew they could never go back to that innocence.

  ‘I didn’t go myself. I wasn’t in the mood either,’ he shrugged dismissal of the subject. ‘Do you want breakfast?’

  ‘No—thank you.’ She doubted she would be able to get anything down her throat. ‘Maybe some coffee. But I’ll get you something to eat if you want it,’ she added, belatedly remembering that was part of the reason she was here.

  ‘I’ve already eaten.’ He eyed her suitcase that stood in the corner of the room. ‘Is that packed?’

  She gave a startled frown. ‘It’s never been unpacked, it didn’t seem worth it.’

  ‘Good,’ Josh nodded. ‘I’m taking you to Martha and Jim’s for a few days. If you——’

  ‘You’re what!’ She stood up, hastily tucking her shirt into the waistband of her denims. ‘Josh, if this is because of last night——’

  ‘I thought you didn’t want to talk about it,’ he ground out.

  ‘I don’t——’

  ‘Then we won’t.’

  ‘But if that’s the reason you’re sending me away——’

  ‘I’m not sending you away,’ he rasped his impatience. ‘I just—I’m going to be—busy for the next couple of days. You might as well spend that time with Martha.’

  ‘But——’

  ‘You’ve been on your own nearly all week, and it’s going to get worse,’ he warned. ‘I happen to think you would be better off with Martha.’

  ‘But who’s going to take care of you?’

  His mouth twisted mockingly. ‘I managed pretty well on my own before you came. But as it happens,’ he added briskly, ‘I’m not going to be here.’
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  ‘You’re going away?’ Her face must have revealed her dismay, and she quickly masked the emotion. It was obvious Josh didn’t want her around any more. She was an embarrassment to him now, a reminder that he had made love to her in the heat of the moment, desire getting the better of good sense.

  ‘Not exactly. But I’m going to be too busy to worry about anyone taking care of me.’

  She would rather he were honest and just told her he found her presence here awkward, that she made him feel uncomfortable. ‘Okay, I’ll go,’ she said dully. ‘I’m ready to go now, if you are.’ She picked up her jacket and suitcase.

  ‘Give that to me,’ Josh took the case out of her hand. ‘Erin, this—last night doesn’t change anything, I’ll still take you to England with me.’

  Why not—she had fully earned her ticket now! ‘Fine,’ she nodded. ‘Will Martha be expecting me?’

  ‘I called her——’

  ‘It must have been early.’ It was only eight-thirty now!

  Josh shrugged. ‘They’re early risers.’

  She gave a falsely bright smile. ‘We’d better get going, then.’

  ‘Yes.’ He seemed about to say something else, then changed his mind and walking out to the truck, the faithful Sheba at his heels.

  Erin hunched miserably on her side of the truck, seeing nothing, feeling nothing but the pain of being parted from Josh. She had thought that she at least had the rest of the week with him, but now she wasn’t even to have that. And it was at Josh’s own instigation.

  She must have been glaringly obvious the night before, must have shown her love for him in a thousand different ways. An affair was one thing, but a clinging woman in love was something else completely!

  At last she looked up, hoping her voice would be steady. ‘What reason did you give Martha and Jim for my staying with them?’ Fortunately her voice sounded cool, and only faintly interested.

  Josh only glanced at her, his expression grim. ‘The truth—I told them the truth.’

  She gasped. ‘You told them about——’

  ‘I told them I was going to be busy,’ he interrupted dryly. ‘They understood perfectly.’

  As she was supposed to, no doubt. How many other lovesick girls had he pushed on to his friends when they became too clinging?

  ‘I’ll enjoy being with Martha,’ she told him brightly. ‘I’ve missed female company.’

  ‘I’m sure,’ he said tersely. ‘Get off, Sheba!’ he snapped at the dog as she nuzzled against his arm.

  Erin sympathised with the poor dog as she gazed up at her master with adoring eyes. Now the two of them had had their love thrown back in their faces!

  ‘Sheba will be staying with you,’ he told her as he stopped the truck outside the ranch-house.

  ‘Oh, but——’

  ‘I won’t have the time to look after her,’ he said abruptly, as he got out to collect her case from the back.

  ‘Surely you aren’t going to be that busy,’ she protested, following him.

  ‘I am.’ His tone was uncompromising.

  ‘It must be nice to thrust the people who love you out of your life whenever you feel like it,’ she said bitterly.

  His eyes narrowed. ‘Meaning?’

  ‘Meaning Sheba!’ she said in an agitated voice. ‘She isn’t going to understand being left here.’ As she didn’t! She longed to throw her arms about his throat and beg him to let her stay with him. But she wouldn’t do it, couldn’t do it.

  ‘She understands better than you think,’ he assured her dryly. ‘Ah, Martha,’ he turned to smile at his cousin. ‘It’s good of you to take Erin at such short notice.’

  ‘Not at all,’ she smiled warmly. ‘I’ll enjoy the company. And in the circumstances——’

  ‘Yes,’ Josh cut in tersely, warningly it seemed to Erin’s sensitive ears. ‘Well, I’ll have to get back now . . .’

  ‘Of course,’ Martha nodded. ‘Don’t worry about Erin, she’ll be fine here with us.’

  ‘I know,’ he smiled, and turned to Erin, the smile still in his warm green eyes. ‘Take care, sweetheart,’ he said huskily. ‘And don’t worry, I’ll be back to pick you up before you know it.’

  She doubted that, she was missing him already! And she knew the endearment had been for his cousin’s sake, but she couldn’t help revelling in it anyway.

  ‘I have to go now, Erin,’ he added deeply, cupping either side of her face as he looked down at her with intense green eyes. ‘I’ll be back as soon as I can.’

  ‘I—I hope so.’ She risked embarrassing him one more time. ‘I—Sheba will miss you,’ she gave a nervous smile, hoping she didn’t cry before he left her.

  His thumbtips caressed her trembling lower lip. ‘I hope she isn’t the only one,’ he gave a rueful smile. ‘You try and miss me too, hmm?’

  ‘I—I’ll try.’ Her voice shook.

  ‘That’s all I ask.’ He bent and kissed her lingeringly on the lips, turning to his cousin as he straightened. ‘I’ll be in touch,’ he said abruptly, moving away from Erin.

  Martha nodded. ‘Take care.’

  ‘ ’Bye, girl.’ He bent to pet Sheba, the dog’s tail wagging once more. ‘Take care of your mistress for me,’ he murmured.

  Erin blinked dazedly, sure that she must have misheard him. Josh must have said, ‘Take care of my mistress for me’. And she resented it. One night of passion together didn’t make her anyone's mistress.

  ‘I can take care of myself,’ she told him tartly. ‘I always have.’

  ‘Yes,’ he nodded. ‘Tell Jim I’ll see him later,’ he told his cousin before leaving.

  ‘Come into the house,’ Martha invited softly as Erin stared numbly after the departing truck. ‘We’ll have some coffee. And I’m sure you can’t have had any breakfast. Josh must have rushed you over here so fast you barely had time to pack,’ she scolded, taking Erin inside.

  ‘I—I——’ To her shame Erin burst into tears, her face

  buried in her hands as she sobbed out her misery.

  Martha put her arms comfortingly about her, holding her until the worst of the crying had passed. ‘Come and sit down,’ she soothed. ‘Men!’ she added disgustedly once Erin was safely seated in one of the armchairs. ‘Miss him, indeed, when anyone can see you’re breaking your heart for him!’

  ‘I’m not——’

  ‘Oh yes, you are,’ the other girl insisted. ‘And fool that he is, he can’t even see it.’

  ‘And I don’t want him to,’ Erin sniffed, wiping the tears from her cheeks. ‘Promise you won’t tell him?’

  ‘But——’

  ‘Please, Martha. I didn’t mean to cry just now, it’s just that——’

  ‘You love him.’

  ‘No——’

  ‘Oh yes,’ Martha nodded gently. ‘Don’t worry, Erin, I won’t tell Josh. If he’s too blind to see it for himself then maybe he doesn’t deserve to know.’

  ‘Thanks.’ She gave a wan smile. ‘Now what did you say about coffee? Josh did rush me out of the house without any this morning.’

  ‘Typical!’ his cousin laughed. ‘Come into the kitchen and we can talk while I cook you breakfast.’

  Despite missing Josh so much she spent an enjoyable day with his cousin. Jim’s welcome was friendly too when he came home later that evening, although he looked exhausted, and he was filthy dirty.

  ‘How is it?’ his wife asked anxiously.

  ‘Still blazing.’ Jim sat down wearily. ‘They’re doing their best, but unless the wind changes . . . I don’t even like to think about it.’ He put his hands over his eyes.

  ‘Josh?’ Martha asked anxiously.

  ‘Still out there,’ he sighed. ‘Not that there’s anything we can do, but——’

  ‘Out where?’ Erin suddenly interrupted, her expression as anxious as Martha’s. ‘Out where?’ she repeated desperately as no one seemed inclined to answer her.

  ‘Oh dear!’ Martha bit her top lip. ‘I—We—You see, Josh didn’t want to w
orry you.’

  ‘Erin doesn’t know?’ Jim groaned his dismay.

  ‘No. You see——’

  ‘No, I don’t see at all, Martha,’ Erin said tautly. ‘What doesn’t Josh want me to worry about? And where is he?’ Her voice rose shrilly over the last.

  ‘The electric storm last night,’ Jim sighed. ‘It caused a lot of forest fires,’ he grimaced, ‘and one of them is heading this way. Josh’s house, and consequently this one too, are directly in its path.’

  ‘Oh no . . .’ she paled to a sickly grey. ‘And—and Josh is—out there, trying to stop it?’ She hardly dared ask the question, already knowing the answer. Josh wasn’t the type of man to sit back and take it when he was threatened, in any way. He would go down fighting, even against a forest fire.

  ‘Not stop it exactly,’ Jim pulled a face. ‘Just trying to help the people who are trying. It looks pretty hopeless, the fire has got too great a hold.’

  ‘But you said something about the wind changing?’ She looked from one to the other of them. ‘Didn’t you?’ she demanded anxiously.

  ‘Yes,’ Jim nodded. ‘It’s predicted by the weathermen, and they’re digging a fire-break in the hope that it does happen. If the wind hasn’t changed direction in the next forty-eight hours they’ll start evacuating us from the area.’ ‘But your homes . . .’

  ‘Will go up in smoke,’ Martha said simply.

  ‘But I—I don’t understand. How can you just sit there and accept it?’ Erin’s expression was frantic.

  ‘We aren’t just sitting back and accepting it!’ Jim stood up impatiently. ‘Josh and I have been out there all day trying to stop it, Josh is still trying.’

  ‘I’m sorry.’ She was instantly contrite. ‘It’s just—Is Josh in any danger?’

  ‘No——’

  ‘I want the truth,’ she said firmly. ‘I’m not a child. Josh had no right to keep it from me.’

  Jim sighed. ‘The truth is that we just don’t know. All forest fires are dangerous.’

  ‘I want to go to him! I want——’

  ‘No,’ Jim told her quietly.

  ‘I—No?’

  ‘No,’ he repeated. ‘Josh’s last words to me were that under no circumstances were you to return to the bungalow.’