Passion from the Past Page 12

  Tears filled Laura’s eyes at her mother’s understanding. ‘Yes,’ she admitted huskily.

  ‘I thought so,’ her mother nodded. ‘You aren’t acting like my Laura at all.’

  She gave a watery smile. ‘I’ll apologise to Mr Courtney on Monday.’

  ‘He’s worried about you too.’

  ‘Yes.’ And she knew he was. Underneath all the bluff manner James Courtney was a bit of a softie. He didn’t have a heart of gold or anything like that, that would be asking too much, but he was certainly more human than he let most people realise. ‘Did you have a nice day?’ she asked, to change the subject.

  ‘Very nice,’ her mother blushed.

  ‘And are you seeing him again?’

  ‘I—I thought I might. Do you think I should?’

  ‘Do you still like him?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Then of course you should see him,’ Laura smiled.

  ‘I hoped you’d say that. Do you think Martin would mind?’

  ‘I—er—I shouldn’t tell Martin just yet.’ With the anger he had towards James Courtney he definitely wouldn’t approve! ‘After all,’ she added lightly, ‘he doesn’t ask you if you mind who he dates.’ He certainly hadn’t told them about Felicity Maitland.

  ‘I suppose not,’ her mother agreed slowly. ‘I could just be making more of it than there is.’

  Much as she wanted her mother to be happy, to possibly marry again, Laura selfishly hoped it wouldn’t be to James Courtney. If anything permanent were to come of that relationship she would have to see Gideon more than she wanted to, because James Courtney regarded him as a son.

  Could James Courtney have known of his daughter’s affair with Martin? It didn’t seem very likely; he wouldn’t have anything to do with them now if he had known.

  They hardly saw Martin all weekend to tell him anything, he was out visiting friends most of the time, most of them female, as far as Laura could make out. He certainly didn’t seem heartbroken for Felicity Maitland. Still, who was she to judge? Most men were adept at hiding their true feelings, a-lesson she had learnt the hard way.

  She went out herself on Sunday, just in case Gideon should come round or telephone. She wasn’t sure if she was disappointed or relieved when her mother told her there had been no word from him. She told herself she was relieved, and yet the ache in her heart denied that.

  Going to work on Monday morning was possibly the hardest thing she had ever done in her life. And yet she had to do it, had to show Gideon that he meant nothing to her—even if it weren’t true. Besides, she wasn’t a coward, and she wouldn’t run away from this situation.

  James Courtney gave her a searching look as he passed through the office, although he didn’t say anything. If he had tried to speak to Gideon about their break-up he had probably been told for a second time to mind his own business.

  ‘Did you have a good time on Friday?’ Janice asked her.

  ‘Very nice,’ she replied without enthusiasm.

  ‘Mr Maitland looked gorgeous. You lucky thing!’ Janice eyed her almost questioningly.

  ‘He did look handsome,’ Laura agreed, then concentrated on her work.

  ‘It was a shame he arrived so late.’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘I suppose he was still in Manchester,’ Janice probed, obviously storing up all Laura’s answers ready to pass on to the rest of the staff.

  Laura looked up with a sigh. ‘Look, you might as well know that—’

  ‘Laura, could you come out here, please,’ requested an authoritative voice.

  Her face paled, her eyes suddenly deeply green as she looked up at Gideon. He looked very pale and gaunt himself, not at all the assured man she was used to. But if he felt guilty about his treatment of her she felt no sympathy for him, but could only look at him with cold eyes.

  ‘Laura,’ he repeated abruptly, opening the door wider to the corridor.

  She got up, not willing to show any sign of antagonism to him in front of Janice and Dorothy, and followed him outside before she spoke. ‘What do you want?’ she asked coldly.

  ‘You know damn well what I want,’ he groaned, his hands coming out to grasp her upper arms.

  ‘Take your hands off me,’ she ordered emotionlessly.

  ‘Laura, for God’s sake—’

  ‘Let go of me!’

  His hands dropped to his sides. ‘Let me explain—’

  ‘All the explaining that was necessary was done on Friday night—by my brother. Martin told me everything.’

  Gideon’s face darkened. ‘Then I wish he would tell it to me. That fifty thousand pounds, for example—I have no idea what he’s talking about.’

  Laura’s mouth twisted. ‘You know,’ she scorned. ‘You just aren’t willing to admit it.’

  His face tightened with anger. ‘I don’t lie, Laura—’

  ‘Oh, you lie!’ She gave a bitter laugh, self-derisory. ‘You let me, you let everyone, believe that you loved your wife.’

  ‘No!’ he shook his head. ‘I never, ever, told you that.’

  ‘You didn’t need to. The way you act, your remoteness—it all gives the impression of a man with a broken heart. But you didn’t love Felicity, if you had she would never have turned to Martin.’ No woman in her right mind would prefer another man if she had Gideon for a husband, a loving husband. It might be disloyal to her brother to think this way, but although he was good-looking in a rakish sort of way he was no competition for Gideon, not in a normal, happily married situation.

  ‘You’re right,’ Gideon sighed heavily, ‘I didn’t love Felicity.’

  Martin’s accusation that Gideon had stayed with Felicity so that he could one day take control of Courtneys no longer seemed so improbable, and Laura recoiled from him. ‘Just as you didn’t love me.’ Her mouth twisted. ‘You love a woman when it suits your purpose to do so, for reasons I can’t even begin to comprehend.’

  ‘No!’ his denial came out as a groan.

  ‘You disgust me,’ she told him coldly, suddenly feeling numb. Somewhere in the depths of her heart she had been hoping that he would deny it all, that he had another reason for taking her out. But that was all over now, her last hope was gone. ‘Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to get back to work…’

  ‘We have to talk, Laura,’ once again he grasped her arms, ‘but not here. Come out with me tonight, and—’

  ‘I wouldn’t go anywhere with you, tonight or any other time,’ she told him curtly.

  ‘You love me!’ he said fiercely, his fingers digging into her flesh, his eyes glittering deeply grey. ‘Laura, you love me!’

  ‘Do I?’

  He seemed to pale at the lack of emotion in her voice, his hands falling away, his frown almost one of hurt puzzlement. ‘No, I don’t think you do,’ he said dully, stepping back. ‘It—I—It seems I’ve made a mistake,’ his voice was stiltedly polite. ‘I’m sorry.’ He turned on his heel and walked to his own office farther down the corridor.

  ‘Gideon…!’

  Thank heaven he didn’t hear her aching groan, or see the desperation in her face as he closed the door behind him. She wouldn’t be bothered by him again, that much had been obvious.

  She couldn’t even understand why he had pursued the subject, she must have made her feelings towards him very plain over the weekend. Besides, now that she knew the truth it was a rather pointless exercise, wasn’t it?

  The rest of the day passed in a numbed haze for Laura, although from the sympathetic looks she received the news that she was no longer seeing Gideon had already spread through the company.

  ‘It wasn’t anything I did, was it?’ Nigel asked anxiously when he gave her a lift home that evening.

  The two of them had been leaving the building at the same time, and because she didn’t feel in the mood to face the journey on the bus she readily accepted Nigel’s offer of a lift. The fact that Gideon had travelled down with her in the lift, albeit with the curious Janice, might have encouraged her to
accept the offer; Gideon’s expression was thunderous.

  With a curt nod of his head in their direction as a gesture of goodnight he had strode out through the double glass doors without a backward glance, getting into the waiting Jaguar and driving off.

  ‘Laura?’ Nigel prompted.

  They were almost at her home, and she hadn’t so much as spoken to him, let alone answered his question! The poor man didn’t deserve such rude behaviour. ‘No, it wasn’t anything you did,’ she assured him.

  ‘You’re sure?’ He still seemed anxious.

  ‘Very sure.’

  ‘Only I think I was a little the worse for drink—’

  ‘A little!’ She smiled for what seemed the first time today—and probably was!

  Nigel pulled a face. ‘I can usually take my drink. It’s just that I’d been watching you all evening, the way you kept glancing at the door every couple of seconds to see if Gideon had arrived.’

  ‘I didn’t—’

  ‘You did, Laura,’ he sighed. ‘And when he did finally arrive your face lit up like—well, your pleasure on seeing him was obvious. It was damned annoying. I couldn’t resist hitting out at him.’

  Laura looked down at her hands, biting her bottom lip. ‘I’m sorry.’

  ‘It isn’t your fault,’ he touched one of her hands. ‘Why look at me when you have Gideon interested in you?’

  ‘Had,’ she corrected softly. ‘He isn’t now, and I’m not interested in him either.’

  ‘Laura—’

  ‘It’s the truth, Nigel,’ she said brightly. ‘And to prove it I’ll invite you to dinner. Cooked by my own fair hands.’ She looked at him expectantly.

  ‘I’d like to, but—’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ she said stiltedly, ‘that was presumptuous of me.’ She gave a jerky smile. ‘It looks as if I’m only inviting you because I’m no longer seeing Gideon.’

  ‘That isn’t the reason I’m refusing.’ Nigel parked the car outside her home, turning in his seat to look at her. ‘I have a previous engagement this evening, a family commitment.’

  ‘Then of course—’

  ‘I always visit my mother-in-law once a week,’ he interrupted, his gaze holding hers steadily.

  Laura gasped, paling. ‘I didn’t know—No one told me—You’re married,’ she finished dully.

  ‘No, I’m not,’ he shook his head, smiling. ‘I’m divorced. Quite amicably, I might add, hence my visits to my mother-in-law.’

  ‘I see.’ But she didn’t really. No one had ever mentioned Nigel being married, although the recent occurrence of her involvement with Gideon had meant no one at work talked of anything else. ‘I—Do you have any children?’

  ‘No,’ Nigel’s smile deepened. ‘It’s really all right, Laura. Tracy and I parted the best of friends. I’m even friends with her second husband, we go fishing together.’ He shrugged. ‘Tracy and I were still in our teens when we married, too young to know what we were doing. When the marriage fell apart a couple of years later I don’t think either of us was surprised. We just outgrew each other. It happens that way sometimes.’

  ‘Yes. I—well, I-I’d better go in now,’ she gave him a bright smile. ‘Thanks for the lift.’

  Nigel’s hand on her arm stopped her getting out of the car. ‘If you could make the dinner invitation for tomorrow night then I’d gladly accept.’ He looked at her questioningly, almost warily.

  ‘If you’re sure…?’

  ‘I am,’ he said firmly. ‘Well?’

  ‘Tomorrow would be fine,’ she confirmed eagerly. Any night would be fine! Now that she was no longer seeing Gideon all her evenings were free.

  ‘Does it bother you—about Tracy and me, I mean?’ Nigel frowned.

  Laura blinked dazedly. ‘Bother me?’

  He nodded. ‘It does some women, especially as I’m still friends with both Tracy and her mother.’

  ‘Well, it doesn’t bother me,’ she smiled. ‘In fact, I think it’s rather nice.’

  ‘So do I,’ he grinned. ‘And instead of you cooking me a meal tomorrow I insist on taking you out. After working all day cooking a meal is the last thing you’ll feel like doing.’

  ‘I don’t mind—’

  ‘I really do insist,’ Nigel said firmly. ‘Eight o’clock all right?’

  ‘Lovely,’ she nodded.

  Over the next couple of weeks Laura saw a lot of Nigel. He proved to be a pleasant, undemanding companion, his goodnight kisses not exactly nerve-shattering, but pleasant nonetheless. And her growing friendship with him helped to take her mind off Gideon, who seemed more distant from people than ever.

  At work she was able to treat him with the cold politeness due to any employer, and only she knew of the bitter tears she shed for him night after night. Their breakup, like their romance, was a nine-day wonder, and her friendship with Nigel now became the main topic of conversation. Going out with Nigel was a much safer relationship emotionally, and while neither of them seemed to be madly in love with the other they did have a good time together.

  Her mother met him and liked him, although she couldn’t understand Laura’s preferring him to Gideon.

  ‘There’s just no comparison,’ she dismissed scathingly three weeks later as Laura prepared for yet another date with Nigel.

  ‘Exactly,’ she acknowledged, straightening the skirt of the figure-hugging dark green dress she wore, her hair a deep auburn against its dark shade, her eyes emerald green.

  ‘Exactly—what?’ her mother sighed. ‘If you would only talk about it—’

  ‘There’s nothing to talk about—’

  ‘Don’t tell me that again, Laura,’ her mother snapped. ‘I’ve listened to the same story for almost a month now, and I know that it isn’t true. I hear you crying yourself to sleep every night,’ she revealed with a frown. ‘And that isn’t because of “nothing”.’

  Delicate colour flooded Laura’s cheeks. ‘I didn’t realise—I thought—’

  ‘You thought I couldn’t hear you,’ her mother finished gently. ‘And ordinarily I wouldn’t have. But I haven’t been sleeping too well myself lately—’

  ‘Because of Mr Courtney,’ Laura teased.

  ‘Yes,’ she revealed with a blush of her own. ‘He’s so impetuous—’

  ‘Oh, Mum, he isn’t!’ She laughed at the description. ‘I’ve seen him in action, and he never does anything that isn’t completely thought out and planned to the last detail.’

  Her mother looked stunned. ‘You mean he means it about wanting to marry me, now, right away?’

  Laura sobered. ‘If that’s what he’s said, then yes, he means it.’

  ‘Oh goodness…’ Her mother sank down on to the bed, her expression dazed.

  ‘Don’t you want to marry him?’ Laura asked softly.

  ‘Oh yes—I mean, no. I—I don’t know,’ she blushed coyly. ‘Don’t you think I’m a little old to be thinking of marrying again, of changing my whole life style?’

  ‘Not if you love him. Do you?’

  ‘I—People of my age don’t fall in love!’

  ‘Don’t be silly,’ Laura chided, dismayed by this revelation for her own sake, but happy for her mother. James Courtney had obviously done a good job of sweeping her off her feet! ‘You can fall in love when you’re eighty.’

  ‘I hope not!’ her mother grimaced.

  ‘You haven’t answered my question,’ Laura prompted, knowing the answer already. Her mother walked about with a permanent glow these days, and James Courtney wasn’t the bear he had always been either, his new mellow attitude surprising a lot of people, including Laura. He wasn’t the old James Courtney at all.

  ‘I can’t be—’

  ‘Mum!’

  ‘Well… I like him a lot,’ Mrs Jamieson compromised. ‘But marriage…! I need more time.’

  ‘And Mr Courtney isn’t willing to give it to you,’ Laura guessed dryly.

  ‘No,’ her mother agreed with a sigh. ‘He keeps pressing me for an answer!’

/>   ‘Then give him one—say yes.’

  ‘But you—’

  ‘Are not important when it comes to your happiness.’ And James Courtney did make her mother happy, she had known that from the first.

  ‘Martin—’

  Her brother had returned to America over two weeks ago, still ignorant of the fact that their mother was seeing James Courtney. ‘He isn’t important either,’ Laura insisted. ‘Goodness, do you think he’s going to ask your permission to get married?’

  ‘No, I know he isn’t. But I am your mother—’

  ‘Which is how I know how deserving you are of happiness, of a happy marriage. You and Dad weren’t suited, not in any way.’ Laura had always known of the friction her father’s career had caused in the marriage. Her mother hated the long separations, and her father hated the long shore-leave, and so there had been constant arguing on the subject, arguments that even as a child Laura had sensed.

  ‘And you think James and I are any more suited?’ her mother scorned. ‘I’m no more suited to being the wife of a millionaire than I was to be the wife of a sailor.’

  ‘Most women wouldn’t find Mr Courtney’s money a drawback,’ Laura teased.

  ‘Most women don’t love him like I—I mean—’

  ‘You mean you love him,’ Laura smiled. ‘And if you don’t accept his proposal then I’ll do it for you. He—’ she broke off as the doorbell rang. ‘That will probably be Nigel.’

  ‘Or James,’ her mother corrected.

  ‘Eager for his answer,’ Laura grinned.

  ‘Probably,’ her mother answered ruefully. ‘Could you answer the door while I go and get ready.’

  It was James Courtney, looking very handsome and distinguished, as usual. Although he was more disparaging about Laura’s appearance.

  ‘You look like a ghost,’ he barked critically, sitting himself in the chair opposite her as they waited for her mother.

  Laura pulled a face at him. ‘Taking up your stepfather duties already?’ she taunted.

  He gave a boyish flush. ‘Your mother told you, then?’

  ‘Oh yes,’ she nodded.

  ‘And?’ It was almost a challenge.

  ‘I approve.’

  ‘You do?’ He seemed surprised.

  ‘I do,’ Laura nodded with a smile.