Uncertain Destiny Read online

  ‘Like hell you are,’ his voice rasped. ‘Don’t be a damned fool. Get back down in that bed before I decide to put you over my knee instead!’ He settled her back down.

  She frowned up at him from the lying position he had gently, but firmly, pushed her into. ‘Stop swearing at me,’ she said in a disgruntled voice.

  ‘That isn’t easy to do when you’re behaving irresponsibly,’ he scowled. ‘You look like hell, you obviously feel even worse, and you have the nerve to try and tell me you’re feeling better!’

  The tears threatened to overflow again. ‘I was only—’

  ‘I know what “you were only”.’ He sat on the side of the bed again. ‘Darling, you’re my wife, and when you feel unwell, whatever the circumstances, I want to know about it,’ he told her abruptly. ‘You don’t have to put on some sort of act with me, as if you’re afraid to admit to feeling ill.’ His gaze darkened as she gave a guilty blush. ‘I’m not some sort of ogre, Caroline.’ He stood up to move away from her. ‘Now drink your tea and chew on your toast,’ he encouraged gently as he handed them to her. ‘You’ll start to feel better in no time.’

  She didn’t exactly make a miraculous recovery, and as she fought down the nausea for the rest of the day, she had a feeling her sickness wasn’t going to be confined to just the morning, but Justin was marvellous with her, knowing exactly the right moment to sit down and take a rest, or hand her one of the biscuits they had gone into the nearest town to buy. But he never again alluded to the fact that her sickness was caused by her pregnancy, once again ignoring its existence.

  When she turned to him that night he gently took her in his arms and just held her against him, the caress of his hand on her back soothing rather than arousing.

  She looked up at him with shyly encouraging eyes. ‘I really am feeling much better now,’ she assured him truthfully. ‘And I’d hate to waste the last night of our honeymoon,’ she added enticingly.

  His gaze was searching. ‘It isn’t going to be wasted if we just hold each other,’ he finally told her gently, obviously not satisfied with what he saw in her face.

  ‘But I don’t want to just hold you,’ she protested impatiently. ‘I really am all right, Justin,’ she added enticingly, playing with the dark swirls of hair on his chest, knowing by the sudden unevenness of his breathing that it was having the desired effect. ‘I have the feeling I’m going to be a night person with this pregnancy,’ she said happily.

  Justin’s arms closed about her. ‘How fortunate,’ he murmured with satisfaction before his mouth claimed hers and all conversation ceased.

  Their honeymoon had changed their relationship yet again. Justin seemed more relaxed with her than ever, and while he didn’t openly mention her pregnancy again he was very considerate of her condition, always managing to waken before her so that he could bring her the tea and dry toast in bed. Usually this managed to ease the nausea, which seemed to be lessening as her pregnancy progressed anyway. By the time she was three months pregnant the sickness had stopped completely, something Caroline was more than grateful for.

  Their social life had picked up, too, in recent weeks; they saw Sonia and Tony often, going out to the theatre and dinner occasionally, too. But Don Lindford hadn’t called again, and when Caroline asked Justin if he had managed to contact the other man he had muttered something about him being out of the country at the moment.

  It was on a return invitation to Sonia and Tony’s one evening that the first moments of awkwardness since their holiday occurred. The last five weeks had been such happy ones, her relationship with Justin closer than ever. He no longer dreamt about the woman called Penny, or called out for her in the night, so Caroline could only assume that her guess at Justin fighting to hold on to that old love had been the right one; and that Justin had lost. The woman Penny was out of his mind and out of his heart now; she was sure of that.

  But as soon as she saw that Sonia and Tony’s other guests for dinner were Paula and a handsome blond-haired man, she knew that the evening wasn’t going to go as smoothly and as pleasantly as she had hoped when she and Justin had set out earlier.

  ‘I hear congratulations are in order,’ Paula drawled as soon as they had been introduced to the man who was her partner for the evening, Brian Pendleton seeming to be a pleasant man.

  ‘Thank you,’ Caroline accepted abruptly, wary of the other woman on this, their first meeting since the night she and Justin had met for the first time.

  ‘I can’t say I exactly envy you,’ the other woman mocked. ‘Waddling around the place for the next few months!’ She ran her hands pointedly over the perfect smoothness of her waist, very beautiful in a blue and silver gown that showed more silver as she moved.

  Caroline opened her mouth to make a cutting reply, looking up at Justin as his arm came possessively about her waist.

  He smiled at her encouragingly. ‘Caroline is much too graceful to ever “waddle” anywhere,’ he derided.

  Paula gave a bitchy smile. ‘You mean you’ll still love her when she’s so rounded with your child that you can scarcely share a bed!’

  Justin’s gaze hardened. ‘There will never be a time that Caroline and I don’t share a bed, Paula,’ he told her softly, a warning in his voice.

  The older woman’s mouth tightened resentfully, but she was wise enough to say no more on the subject.

  The evening was completely ruined for Caroline; how could she relax and enjoy herself when Paula Hammond seemed determined to make sure she didn’t? Not that she could blame the other woman for still being upset about the way Justin had ended their relationship, but it had been five months ago, and Justin was very much the married man now.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ Sonia groaned, having asked Caroline to help her in the kitchen so that the two of them could talk alone. ‘She more or less invited herself once she knew you and Justin were coming tonight, and Paula has enough arrogance for ten women!’ she added with feeling. ‘I would have put you off, but in the circumstances that might have looked too obvious.’

  ‘It’s all right.’ Caroline squeezed her arm, seeing that her sister was really upset about the situation. ‘I don’t have anything to fear from Paula,’ she said confidently, sure of Justin in a way that a woman like Paula could never make her doubt.

  ‘Except her tongue!’ Sonia reminded her drily. ‘I feel sorry for poor Brian Pendleton; he’s obviously only been brought along as an afterthought. Tony is absolutely disgusted by Paula’s behaviour.’ Sonia sighed. ‘That’s all we need to complete the evening: the two of them having one of their not unfamous arguments!’

  Caroline chuckled softly. ‘Justin could act as referee!’

  Her sister nodded absently. ‘I’m not even sure I have enough food; Paula only invited herself an hour ago.’

  ‘You always cook too much anyway,’ Caroline assured her lightly. ‘I doubt if any of us will go hungry.’

  Sonia squeezed her eyes tightly shut. ‘I can’t believe Paula actually publicly challenged your place in Justin’s bed,’ she groaned disbelievingly, shaking her head. ‘Anyone with any sense—and that seems to exclude Paula in this case—can clearly see he can’t take his eyes off you.’

  Caroline laughed softly, warmed by the knowledge. ‘Please don’t worry about it; I’m not going to.’ And surprisingly she knew that she wasn’t, these few minutes she took to collect herself renewing her confidence in the marriage she and Justin were trying to build together. Nothing a woman like Paula Hammond could say could damage the relationship they already had together.

  Her smile was completely natural as she went back into the lounge, sitting on the arm of Justin’s chair as she leant into him, looking up to meet Paula’s scathing glance with questioningly raised brows.

  ‘Isn’t it perfectly nauseous to observe newlyweds together?’ Paula spoke drily to no one in particular. ‘But then I suppose you know all about nausea at the moment, don’t you, Caroline?’ she prompted with a sweetness that didn’t fool anyone—and w
asn’t supposed to!

  ‘Paula—’

  ‘Actually,’ Caroline cut across Tony’s anger with an apologetic smile in his direction, ‘I’m feeling in the best of health,’ she told the other woman derisively. ‘But then that’s as it should be when I’m feeling so happy,’ she added challengingly.

  Paula gave a disgusted snort, but was prevented from further comment by Sonia’s firm announcement that dinner was ready.

  Caroline smiled at Justin as they took their seats, but although he returned the smile she could see from the anger in his gaze that he was at the end of his patience where Paula was concerned.

  Paula hadn’t got where she was in her profession by not being able to read people, and as they ate dinner she chatted amiably with them all, just as if her bitchiness had never occurred.

  Caroline shared a conspiratorial smile with Tony, could see by his grimace that he could cheerfully have strangled his sister if he had been allowed to.

  It wasn’t until they were all sitting together in the living-room, drinking coffee, that Paula’s self-control lapsed once again.

  ‘Isn’t this all very civilised?’ Again she spoke to no one in particular. ‘My brother is married to the sister of the woman he once intended marrying, and that sister is married to the man I—’

  ‘You what, Paula?’ Justin prompted in a dangerously soft voice.

  Her eyes flashed deeply green. ‘Whom I admire very much,’ she answered challengingly.

  ‘The professional admiration is reciprocated,’ he bit out. ‘Otherwise you wouldn’t be working for my law firm.’

  Paula flushed angrily at the veiled threat. ‘I was only pointing out how curious it is that Tony should now be married to Caroline’s sister instead of Caroline!’

  ‘Not curious at all—when you consider the fact that he happens to be in love with Sonia,’ Justin grated harshly.

  ‘As you are in love with Caroline?’ the self-assured woman taunted.

  Some of the colour left Caroline’s cheeks. She had never dared to openly voice that question, and she knew Justin would deeply resent a third person intruding in this familiar way. She could only hope he wouldn’t deny the emotion in his chilling anger!

  ‘Paula, why don’t you go home?’ Tony burst out furiously. ‘You’ve done some stupid things in your time, but this must surely rate as the stupidest!’

  His sister’s eyes flashed again. ‘You—’

  ‘More coffee, anyone?’ Sonia broke in brightly.

  Paula wasn’t to be put off. ‘You—’

  ‘No?’ Sonia continued as if no one had spoken. ‘In that case it’s time for the part everyone dreads; washing-up! Paula,’ she spoke coldly, ‘you can come and help me.’

  Surprised brows rose over mockingly appreciative green eyes. ‘So the little mouse can roar,’ Paula drawled, standing up.

  ‘She can do more than roar,’ Sonia told her sweetly, ‘so don’t push it, hm?’ Her saccharine smile matched her tone.

  Paula gave a huskily appreciative laugh. ‘What a lot of champions you have, Caroline,’ she said softly. ‘Obviously “roaring” isn’t a family characteristic. But then, of course, it wouldn’t be; the two of you aren’t really sisters, are you?’ she dismissed with a shrug. ‘Poor Caroline; first Sonia superseded you with the people you considered your parents, and then she came along and took the man in your life, too.’ She gave a feigned sigh. ‘Life can sometimes be such a bitch, can’t it?’

  ‘Not half such a bitch as you!’ Tony sprang angrily to his feet. ‘For your information, Caroline finished with me long before I first went out with Sonia,’ he bit out contemptuously. ‘And Caroline has always been her parents’ much-loved eldest daughter. Now you can take yourself, and the poor man who is stuck with you for the evening—’ he gave Brian Pendleton a pitying glance ‘—and get out of my home,’ he told his sister harshly.

  Furious green eyes turned on Caroline and Justin as Caroline once again sat on the arm of his chair. ‘You don’t need to tell me to get out of my office, too,’ Paula rasped. ‘I couldn’t go on working there, anyway, watching you make such a fool of yourself over a woman who obviously knows a meal-ticket when she sees one.’ She gave a scornful laugh as Caroline paled. ‘She even made sure of it by getting pregnant straight away. But can you ever be sure it isn’t my brother’s baby?’ Her head went back in challenge.

  Caroline was barely aware of the shocked gasps around the room. She stared at Justin, a coldly furious Justin that she had never seen before, a nerve pulsing in his jaw as he slowly stood up.

  ‘If you’ll excuse me?’ He spoke softly to their host, receiving a nod from the still-stunned Tony. Justin reached the door in two strides and wrenched it open, his silver gaze ripping into a now pale Paula as she realised, by the fact that she had succeeded in infuriating a man who could usually remain calm through any situation, that she had finally gone too far. ‘Don’t come near either Caroline or myself—but especially Caroline—again, or I’m not going to be answerable for the consequences. Do I make myself clear?’

  ‘Very.’ Paula picked up her clutch-bag with a calmness that defied him to think his threat meant anything to her. And maybe it would have looked convincing if her hand hadn’t been trembling so badly. ‘Come along, Brian,’ she instructed haughtily.

  The slenderly handsome man stood slowly to his feet. ‘I’ll see you to your car,’ he nodded politely.

  Green eyes widened. ‘But I drove you here,’ she reminded lightly.

  He nodded. ‘I’ll see you to your car,’ he repeated tautly.

  The three left sitting in the room, once Paula and the not-so-amenable Brian Pendleton had left, all looked shattered by the vitriolic attack, Justin standing beside the lounge door, breathing deeply in his anger.

  Tony was the first to recover. ‘My God, I didn’t realise she was capable—I hope you don’t believe there was any truth in that wild accusation she made about the baby.’ He shook his head. ‘Because it was wild,’ he insisted firmly. ‘Caroline and I never—we never—’

  She was barely conscious of Justin’s, ‘I’m well aware of that,’ although she was grateful for it, had hoped Paula’s provocative taunt wouldn’t make him reconsider the initial doubts he had had about the baby being his.

  ‘Caroline.’ Suddenly Justin appeared in her line of vision as she stared down at the floor; he was down on his haunches in front of her. ‘Darling, it’s all over now,’ he soothed gently, pushing her hair back from her forehead.

  ‘She was right,’ she said in a pained voice, looking up at Justin with bewildered eyes. ‘For years I’ve denied it, but—but I always felt pushed out by the fact that my parents had children of their own. I just—No one has ever put it into words before.’ She shook her head.

  She could see an emotion much like love in his eyes as he moved forward to pull her head down against his shoulder. ‘Darling, of course you felt that way,’ he said understandingly. ‘Any four-year-old would feel resentment, let alone one who had been brought up to believe she was special because she was adopted.’ His hands moved caressingly across her back.

  She blinked back the tears. ‘But I felt that way again when Sonia married Tony. I didn’t love him myself, I—I just didn’t like the idea of her marrying him.’ She turned to her sister, pain etched into her face. ‘I’m sorry. I—I’m sorry.’ She could no longer hold back the tears.

  ‘Caroline, you have nothing to feel sorry for,’ Sonia chided gently, at her side, too, now. ‘Do you think I didn’t realise how you felt? God, in your place I would have refused to have anything to do with Simon and me. But you didn’t, you were like a second little mother to us.’ She smiled at the memory. ‘And if you had even once guessed how I felt about Tony before the two of you finished you would probably have backed out and let me have him! Caroline, you don’t have a selfish bone in your body, and we all love you.’

  Years of hiding a resentment she had thought no one else knew about were suddenly stripped from her, le
aving her free in a way she had never known before. Until Sonia and Simon were born she had known she was a very special person in her parents’ life, but once she knew there was to be a baby of their own, even worse, two babies together, she had never felt as secure of their love again, had spent the rest of her life trying to prove herself to them. And now she saw it wasn’t necessary. Sonia was right; all of her family did love her.

  She gave a wan smile. ‘You’re right, Tony.’ She smiled at him over Sonia’s head. ‘Pregnant women are much too emotional.’

  He returned the smile affectionately. ‘I think this pregnant woman’s emotionalism was long overdue,’ he said gently.

  She turned back to Justin, warmed by the concern in his gaze. ‘Paula must have wanted you very much, to have risked everything in that way,’ she said sadly.

  ‘Not really,’ his mouth twisted. ‘She had already handed in her notice, and was due to leave at the end of the month.’

  ‘That’s Paula all over,’ Tony dismissed disgustedly. ‘Even her “grand gesture” turns out to be not quite what it seemed.’

  The touch of humour lightened the atmosphere, and they all smiled a little with relief at the passing of the awkwardness Paula had so wantonly caused.

  ‘I think we should leave now.’ Justin straightened up.

  Caroline shook her head. ‘I’ll help Sonia with the clearing away first.’

  ‘Don’t be silly,’ her sister dismissed lightly. ‘Tony can help me do that.’

  ‘Yes,’ he grimaced, ‘I can help her do that.’

  Caroline was completely poised again now, and she stood up with a shake of her head. ‘You two men enjoy a brandy together while Sonia and I tackle the washing-up.’

  ‘I—’

  ‘That sounds like a good idea,’ Justin agreed firmly, deftly cutting off the other man’s protest, sharing a look of complete understanding with Caroline as he realised she wanted to talk to her sister alone before they left. ‘Make mine a large one.’ He scowled, sitting down, stretching his long legs out in front of him in a completely relaxed pose.