Freedom to Love Read online

  ‘Sure,’ he shrugged. ‘Let me go first.’

  ‘I’m perfectly all right.’ She stubbornly began walking down the rocky path. ‘I’m not incapable—’ As she said this her right foot went from under her, her other ankle twisted as she went over, and she slipped inelegantly down on to her bottom.

  ‘What the—!’ Adam was beside her in seconds. ‘I don’t believe it!’ he groaned. ‘You’ve done it again!’

  Katy’s face was creased with pain, her ankle already beginning to throb. ‘Done what again?’ she asked raggedly.

  Adam was checking her limbs, finally coming to the ankle that was beginning to swell up. ‘I knew it was too good to last,’ he muttered, probing the swollen skin. ‘You hadn’t done anything stupid for at least twenty-four hours. It had to happen!’ He started to sound angry. ‘You can’t do anything without getting it wrong. Why the hell—’

  ‘Adam,’ her calm voice cut across his angry tirade, ‘would it be too much to ask you to help me up?’ She could see a party of people coming down the pathway, possibly from a coach, and she didn’t want them to see her lying on this muddy pathway.

  ‘Here,’ he impatiently handed her his camera before lifting her up into his arms, mud and all.

  ‘Adam!’ She struggled against him. ‘Adam, put me down! What are those people going to think?’ she groaned, burying her face in the open front of his shirt as the first of the people began to walk past them.

  ‘Let them think what they damn well like!’ His face was grim, his blue eyes scathing as his gaze flickered over her. ‘They’d think a damn sight more if I let you struggle all the way back to the car park with that swollen ankle.’

  ‘But it’s all uphill!’

  ‘I know that!’ he grimaced. But he wasn’t even breathing hard, his arms were like steel bands about her. ‘How do you do it, Katy?’ he sighed. ‘Is there some mechanism inside you that reminds you that you haven’t done anything stupid for a while?’

  ‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ she snapped. ‘I didn’t fall over on purpose. I just—’

  ‘Why is it never your fault? Well, I’m sorry, but this time it was, completely your own fault. I told you to let me go first, but oh no, little miss know-it-all had to prove how clever she is.’

  ‘All I’ve done,’ she said dully, ‘is prove what an idiot I am.’

  ‘I’m glad you realise it.’

  ‘I can hardly do anything else when you keep telling me I am!’ her voice broke emotionally. ‘Anyone could have fallen on that pathway, it was very slippery.’

  ‘Anyone could,’ he agreed grimly. ‘It just happened to be you—again.’

  ‘I—’

  ‘It’s always you,’ he added exasperatedly, almost back at the camper now. ‘Who gets you out of these scrapes at home?’

  ‘No one.’ Katy winced as he laid her down on the sofa, watching as he took a first-aid box down from one of the cupboards. ‘Whether you believe this or not, I’m very capable at home. I have to be, being a doctor’s receptionist. It isn’t only Daddy I have to worry about, it’s his partner too.’

  ‘Is he young?’ Adam had soaked a bandage in cold water and was now taking off her shoe.

  Katy looked startled by the question. ‘Young? Well, I suppose so. Why?’

  ‘Just curious.’ He frowned. ‘These tights will have to come off.’

  ‘Off?’ She looked even more startled.

  ‘Yes—off,’ he sighed. ‘Did the fall affect your head too? You seem to be having difficulty understanding me,’ he explained curtly.

  Her bottom lip quivered. ‘Stop being cruel to me!’

  ‘I’m not being cruel,’ he said impatiently. ‘Just get the tights off, Katy, there’s a good girl.’

  ‘But I can’t!’ It would mean taking off her denims too, and she would be almost naked.

  ‘Okay, I’ll help you,’ and his long tanned hands went to the fastening of her denims.

  ‘No!’ she pushed him away. ‘I didn’t mean that I can’t do it myself, I just meant I can’t. Not in front of you,’ she blushed.

  His blue eyes narrowed. ‘Why not in front of me?’

  ‘I didn’t mean you especially, just any man.’ She was bright red with embarrassment.

  ‘Including young Dr Watsisname?’

  ‘Andrew?’ she frowned her puzzlement. ‘Of course not, we don’t have that sort of relationship,’ she told him indignantly. ‘Andrew has been a friend of the family for years. He’s almost like a brother to me.’

  ‘No man who isn’t your brother can ever feel like one. I’ll lay you odds on that your young doctor has designs on you.’

  His scornful tone angered her. ‘And what if he has?’ she said crossly. ‘He’s very nice. He’s good-looking, and—and charming.’

  Adam half-smiled. ‘Meaning I’m not. I must say it isn’t a quality I’m known for. Now, are you going to get those tights off or do I have to do it for you?’

  ‘You wouldn’t dare!’

  ‘It would be far from the first time I’ve had the privilege of undressing a woman,’ he taunted, pulling the curtains so that people outside couldn’t see in.

  ‘I already know that. Oh, all right, I’ll take them off. But you’ll have to turn the other way.’

  His expression left her in no doubt of his impatience with such a request, but he turned round anyway. ‘Just let me know when you’re ready,’ he said wearily.

  It took her several minutes to struggle out of her tight denims and then her tights, feeling very selfconscious in just her bikini briefs and a fitted jumper. She cursed herself for wearing tights, it wasn’t something she usually did when wearing trousers, but as it was so cold she had made today the exception. ‘I’m ready,’ she mumbled.

  Adam turned around, his eyes moving over her quite impersonally. ‘This doesn’t look too bad,’ he probed her ankle. ‘How does it feel?’

  ‘Just sore.’ His attitude lessened her embarrassment, but the feel of his hand running down her calf and over her ankle made her shiver with reaction. ‘That hurt!’ she invented.

  He looked speculative but continued to bandage her ankle. ‘That should take the swelling down. I don’t think there’s anything broken, but maybe you should see a doctor anyway.’

  ‘It isn’t necessary,’ Katy said with certainty. ‘Daddy insisted I know some basic first-aid before I went to work for him, and I’ve picked up quite a lot since then. This is just a sprain, quite painful but not broken.’

  ‘Thank you, doctor!’ he responded dryly.

  She flushed. ‘There’s no need to mock!’

  He stood back, his gaze not quite so impersonal. ‘What would you like me to do instead?’

  ‘Why, nothing.’ She was so vulnerable lying here in just her briefs!

  ‘Sure?’ His deep blue eyes held her mesmerised, a message there for her if she just cared to acknowledge it.

  ‘Very sure,’ she told him firmly. ‘You—you wouldn’t try to seduce an injured woman, would you?’

  Adam grinned at her obvious nervousness, the intimacy of his mood broken. ‘I take them any way I can get them.’ He laughed outright at the apprehension in her eyes. ‘You’re quite safe, Katy,’ he chuckled.

  ‘I—I am?’ Was that disappointment she felt at his casual dismissal of her? She was very much afraid it was.

  ‘Mm,’ his eyes mocked her. ‘I’m just wondering how I can get the rest of my photographs. You certainly aren’t up to walking anywhere for a few days.’

  ‘Go without me,’ she said waspishly. ‘I want to get my clothes back on, anyway.’

  ‘Oh yes.’ He seemed to become aware of her still naked legs. He turned his back once again. ‘Go ahead.’

  Katy glared at his muscular back, and dragged her denims on, not bothering with her tights. ‘Okay,’ she said moodily.

  He turned. ‘What are you looking so annoyed about?’

  ‘I am not annoyed,’ she snapped.

  Adam smiled. ‘Oh yes, you are. There’s no be
tter way to get to know someone than in one of these things, and I’m getting to know you very well. You’re annoyed with me because I didn’t try to get you into bed just now.’

  ‘I am not!’ Her eyes flashed her dislike.

  ‘Yes, you are,’ he disputed calmly. ‘Maybe I would have done, I just didn’t think you would be in the mood right now.’

  ‘Don’t lie,’ Katy snapped. ‘You’re just worried about taking your horrible photographs—I mean—I—’ Oh lord, had she given herself away? She hoped not.

  ‘No, I’m not, Katy. And they won’t be horrible photographs. At least,’ he grimaced, ‘I hope they won’t be. I should be past the stage where I make the obvious mistakes.’

  ‘I don’t want to hear about your damned photographs! I just—’

  ‘Leave it, Katy,’ his face was harsh. ‘This just isn’t the time or the place.’

  ‘Oh, go and take your photographs! Go on, I shall be all right here.’

  ‘No doubt you would be, but I think I’ll leave it until tomorrow. The light isn’t too good.’

  ‘Oh well, of course you can’t work now!’ she said bitterly. ‘We may as well go back to Jasper.’

  ‘Yes, we might,’ he bit out. ‘You stay there.’ He started the engine with a vicious movement, and drove out on to the road. ‘Your future brother-in-law was right about you—you are frustrated. You need a man.’

  ‘As long as it isn’t you!’

  ‘It just could be, if you anger me enough.’

  ‘Then I must take care that I don’t do that, mustn’t I?’ she smiled sweetly, her sarcasm unmistakable.

  Their icy politeness the rest of the day was strangely upsetting to Katy. She would rather have Adam’s sarcasm than this chilling attitude, rather put up with his taunts than this silence.

  ‘Adam

  ‘Mm?’ He didn’t even look up from the paperback he had been reading most of the evening.

  ‘I—er—I’m going to bed now.’

  ‘Goodnight.’

  ‘Adam—’

  ‘Goodnight, Katy,’ he repeated tersely. ‘Maybe tomorrow we’ll be able to converse like a couple of rational human beings. At the moment I need to be alone. I’ve never liked people around me, and this is no exception.’

  There was no answer to that, and she was so hurt she couldn’t have replied anyway. Adam didn’t want her around. But she had nowhere else to go, was left at the mercy of his generosity. And he was no longer in a mood to be generous.

  She couldn’t really blame him, he had offered her his hospitality and she had been nothing but moody and stupid. But did he have to be so nasty about wanting to be alone, he only had to say and she would have made herself scarce at the beginning of the evening. She liked to be alone herself sometimes, and respected anyone else who felt the same way.

  Her ankle didn’t hurt too badly now, although it ached a bit once she was in bed. She hadn’t heard Adam go to his bed, so he must still be on the sofa; his paperback must be good. She yawned tiredly, wishing she could fall asleep. It was almost two in the morning, and as far as she could tell neither Adam or she had been to sleep yet.

  She blinked as the door to her bedroom suddenly opened, admitting a harsh light. Adam stood naked in the doorway.

  ‘Come on,’ he said gruffly, bending to scoop her up in his arms.

  Katy had taken to wearing one of his shirts to sleep in, something she now felt glad of. ‘Where are you taking me?’ she squeaked, envisaging him throwing her out into the darkness.

  ‘To bed,’ he muttered, ‘with me.’

  ‘Oh, but—’

  ‘Don’t argue with me, Katy,’ he looked down at her with tortured eyes. ‘I need you.’

  She swallowed hard, knowing the effort it must have cost him to say that. ‘You need me?’ she repeated.

  ‘Yes,’ and he put her up in the bed, turning off the light.

  Katy’s blushes lessened in the darkness. She had never seen a man in the nude before. Adam had a fantastic body, firm and well muscled, completely the dominant male.

  He got up beside her, unzipping his sleeping bag and pulling her inside. Their legs met, their thighs touched, and Katy could feel herself begin to shake with reaction.

  ‘I—This isn’t right, Adam,’ she gasped. ‘I shouldn’t be here.’

  ‘I haven’t brought you here to make love to, Katy,’ he said huskily. ‘I can’t sleep. I keep seeing that child in my mind, and I can’t stand it! I’ve never needed anyone before in my life, but I need you now. Are you going to deny me comfort?’

  ‘No,’ her arms slipped about him, pulling his head down on to her breasts, ‘oh no, I won’t deny you.’

  He relaxed against her, and a deep sigh escaped his lungs. ‘I hope this works, Katy, because I’m going quietly out of my mind.’

  She caressed his brow with unsteady fingers, wishing she could share his pain and so half his torture. Not many men would be able to confess to such emotions, and she respected Adam all the more for doing so.

  ‘Sleep now, Adam,’ she encouraged gently. ‘You have your pillow,’ she added teasingly.

  ‘Mm.’ He settled more comfortably against her. ‘You have wonderful—pillows.’ Her silence amused him and he chuckled softly. ‘I feel better already.’

  ‘Then go to sleep and stop embarrassing me.’

  ‘Yes, ma’am.’ All tension left his body and within seconds he had taken her advice.

  Katy only wished she could do the same. She had let herself in for a torture of her own, of being this close to Adam, of longing for his arms to go around her and for him to love her. But it must never happen!

  This time Adam was awake before her, lying beside her watching her as she started to wake. ‘Calm down,’ he gently touched her shoulder as she would have struggled into a sitting position. ‘How’s your ankle this morning?’ His hand didn’t leave her but slipped inside the V-neck of the shirt she was wearing.

  Her breath caught in her throat as his fingers explored the softness of her shoulders, moving lower and lower in soft butterfly movements. ‘My ankle is fine,’ she told him. It was the rest of her she was worried about! And was that squeaky sound really her voice?

  ‘Good,’ he murmured, bending to caress her throat with his lips. ‘Because now is the time, and this is definitely the place,’ he reminded her of his refusal of yesterday.

  ‘But, Adam—’

  His mouth came roughly down on hers and stopped all further talk, his hard body half lying over her, his desire already a physical thing. ‘I’ve been watching you for the last hour,’ he groaned, kissing her again. ‘Has anyone ever told you how desirable you look first thing in the morning?’

  She blushed. ‘Certainly not!’

  ‘Oh, God, I want this…’ His mouth was fiercer this time, firing her to equal passion.

  Adam kissed her intimately, his tongue probing the moistness of her lips, his hands curving about her breasts. His thumbs touched the hardness of her nipples, sending shivers of delight through her body. Her arms were up about his neck, her nails digging pleasurably into the taut muscles of his back. His skin was damp against her, his breathing laboured as he lowered his mouth to her breast, slowly caressing and taunting it with his lips and tongue, his hands firmly on her hips as he pulled her into the hardness of his body.

  Katy was sinking, falling into a sensual abyss, her legs entwined with Adam’s, her arms straining him to her. She wanted him closer, closer. ‘Adam…’ she groaned as his lips trailed across the flat tautness of her stomach and down to her silky thighs.

  He didn’t answer, intent only on arousing her. He moved up to claim her lips once again, reducing her to a yearning ache, an ache that she desperately wanted him to ease. But he was in no hurry, kissing her, caressing her, making her tremble and shudder in his arms as he raised her to the edge of complete sensual satisfaction.

  Suddenly he rolled away from her, staring up at the roof, taking in huge gulps of air.

  ‘Adam…?’ Sh
e gave him a bewildered look.

  He gave a deep sigh. ‘Neither of us came prepared for something like this, Katy.’

  His meaning soon became clear to her and her face blushed fiery red. ‘You’re disgusting!’ She buried her face in the pillow.

  ‘I’m not disgusting at all.’ He was out of bed now, pulling on his denims. ‘I could so easily have made love to you, Katy, we both wanted it. But would you have thanked me afterwards?’

  She swallowed hard. ‘Do you usually want thanks?’ she bit out.

  His eyes narrowed to angry slits. ‘I didn’t mean those sort of thanks. Use your head, Katy. The repercussions from this morning could have changed your whole life.’

  ‘I wouldn’t have let you—you—do that to me!’ she told him indignantly.

  ‘How did you propose stopping me?’

  ‘I—I could have done,’ she said defensively. ‘I had no intention of—of going all the way with you, of letting you appease your lust.’

  ‘My dear little Katy Harris,’ he taunted, ‘you couldn’t have stopped me “going all the way” if I’d wanted to.’

  ‘Are you now saying you didn’t?’ she scorned angrily, the memory of his pulsating desire still very vivid in her mind.

  ‘No, I’m not saying that,’ he said savagely. ‘I wanted you, you know I did. But if I ever have children I don’t intend having them this way.’

  ‘I suppose most of the women you know are—are taking something?’ she shouted after him as he went to take a shower. ‘I suppose they’re all sophisticated, know all the rules?’

  ‘They are, and they do. So don’t meddle in things you obviously know nothing about.’

  ‘Me meddle? You were the one—’

  ‘Yes,’ he interrupted wearily, ‘I forgot for a while just how innocent you are. But I’ve remembered now,’ he added hardly.

  ‘Let’s hope you keep remembering!’

  ‘Don’t worry, I intend to.’

  They drove down to Maligne Canyon again, and while Adam went off down the trail Katy had plenty of time to dwell on this morning’s events. Adam had reduced her to almost begging for his possession—and the worst of it was, he knew it! She would have raised no objection to him taking their lovemaking to its conclusion, would even have revelled in it. Thank God he had come to his senses in time, even if it had been cruelly done.